5 ms·

I used to own a pickup. I resolved to never own another one because it resulted in requests to help haul stuff or help someone move at least twice per month.

DangitBobby 5y ago
I'm actually the opposite here, I love being asked to help people. I feel that it strengthens my relationships with them and makes me feel important.
- munificent 5y ago
  My too. This is literally why I bought a pick-up truck 20 years ago. (Which I still drive today. The Tacoma will outlive me.) I love it myself. I've moved with it, carried music equipment to gigs with it, brought home countless DIY projects from the hardware store with it, and even camped in the back of it. But I also have done many many favors for friends.
- lotsofpulp 5y ago
  Some people count on that to take advantage of you. One of the easiest strategies is to start asking for small favors, and then move on to bigger ones. Because the person has already granted you a small favor, it’s harder for many to say no to the bigger ones even if they want to. But if it makes you happy, I guess that’s all that matters!
  - Andrex 5y ago
    That sounds like the natural progression of a relationship/friendship to me. I'd ask my better-known friends larger tasks than people I don't know as well, too.
    - lotsofpulp 5y ago
      Yes, of course, if it’s a two way relationship. But I’ve seen plenty where the “mark” is unaware or cognitively dissonant that they are being taken advantage of. Initially, they take pride in being able to help someone, but eventually they’re giving much more than taking, and they cannot bring themselves to say no, whether it be to keep themselves happy because “if I’ve helped them before, why should I not help them now…even though I don’t really want to”, or to avoid confrontation. Pride is always a liability, so I like to try to keep away from it as much as possible.
      - ncallaway 5y ago
        > Pride is always a liability That statement seems so broad that it can't possible be true in every circumstance. Always?
        lotsofpulp 5y ago
        The saying is “pride comes before the fall”. It is more of a general principle of keeping one’s emotions at bay to prevent your biases from clouding the data and your judgment. I am sure there are evolutionary reasons for pride (i.e. ego) such as helping you fight with intensity for scarce resources or for maintaining tribal bonds. But in the modern world, it those circumstances are rarer and someone can use it against you pretty easily.
        ncallaway 5y ago
        I agree that pride _can_ be a liability. The idiom “pride comes before the fall” itself doesn’t imply that pride is _always_ bad, but rather that it has the potential to be bad. I think pride has all kinds of positive and negative features in the modern world. When I take pride in my work, I think about it more carefully and try and deliver a higher quality work. “Pride” and “Craftsmanship” seem very linked to me. That pride helps me deliver high quality work, which keeps clients around and earns referrals, which keeps me paid and food on the table. When I don’t take pride in the work I do, the standards and quality can slip. I’m much happier if I can deliver work to a client that I can stand behind and be proud of. I think that’s in many ways an asset. I certainly don’t disagree with you, though, that there are many scenarios where pride , hubris, and ego end up being problematic.
        lotsofpulp 5y ago
        You make a good point, I guess it’s not an easy one liner!
  - DangitBobby 5y ago
    I'm not particularly worried about being taken advantage of. "No" is a well-established part of my vocabulary.
- lostlogin 5y ago
  Ah, the privilege escalation attack.
bombcar 5y ago
If you want the utility of a pickup truck without the stigma, go for a minivan and a trailer. Of course a minivan has other associated stigma, but you can haul things around without being asked to haul other things. I once read an article by a crane operator that mentioned something like 40% of his jobs were for people who saw him craning something and asked if they could hire him to crane something else nearby.
quickthrowman 5y ago
It costs $19 to rent a truck for 75 minutes from Home Depot and $20 an hour after that, or is what I would tell people if I owned a pickup.
- hbarka 5y ago
  Yeah, and it’s a pain in the ass because you realize the renting overhead equates to about 4 hours of wasted time to and fro. Then you’re rushing your project because you hear the clock tick and then need it again on Sunday. Will never do a truck rental again.
Arrath 5y ago
I owned a pickup in the city. I absolutely hate moving. I do, however, love free beer and pizza. ...I helped a lot of friends move.
freeopinion 5y ago
A lot of acquaintances have asked me for help fixing their computers, or advice on buying a computer, or help setting up their smart TV, or email on their smart phone. Some have asked me to build apps or websites for them. All expecting help for free. Some people have asked to use my truck, or asked for help loading a moving van. I have asked for free legal advice, tax advice, help installing flooring, help loading a moving van. I have borrowed a neighbor's truck. I have asked for tons of help debugging code or learning some new concept. Sometimes I have turned people down who asked for help. I am grateful to the hundreds of people who have helped me in ways big and small. I understand when people can't. For the most part, I am happy to lend out my truck on occasion. While it is getting used, I'm probably using a browser for free on an operating system for free. A while back I was using a park "for free" when I noticed a family I know working together to pick up all the trash. I know they weren't being paid. They're just super cool like that. Sometimes it just feels great to be super cool in some small way. Some people go out of their way to feel like that at least twice per month.
rootusrootus 5y ago
Just need to learn how to politely say no. If they're friends, they won't take advantage of you, and if they're not friends, it's really easy to say no. Hasn't been a problem for me, but I recognize that this is probably because all my friends have some kind of pickup of their own.

DangitBobby 5y ago

I'm actually the opposite here, I love being asked to help people. I feel that it strengthens my relationships with them and makes me feel important.

munificent 5y ago
My too. This is literally why I bought a pick-up truck 20 years ago. (Which I still drive today. The Tacoma will outlive me.) I love it myself. I've moved with it, carried music equipment to gigs with it, brought home countless DIY projects from the hardware store with it, and even camped in the back of it. But I also have done many many favors for friends.
lotsofpulp 5y ago
Some people count on that to take advantage of you. One of the easiest strategies is to start asking for small favors, and then move on to bigger ones. Because the person has already granted you a small favor, it’s harder for many to say no to the bigger ones even if they want to. But if it makes you happy, I guess that’s all that matters!
- Andrex 5y ago
  That sounds like the natural progression of a relationship/friendship to me. I'd ask my better-known friends larger tasks than people I don't know as well, too.
  - lotsofpulp 5y ago
    Yes, of course, if it’s a two way relationship. But I’ve seen plenty where the “mark” is unaware or cognitively dissonant that they are being taken advantage of. Initially, they take pride in being able to help someone, but eventually they’re giving much more than taking, and they cannot bring themselves to say no, whether it be to keep themselves happy because “if I’ve helped them before, why should I not help them now…even though I don’t really want to”, or to avoid confrontation. Pride is always a liability, so I like to try to keep away from it as much as possible.
    - ncallaway 5y ago
      > Pride is always a liability That statement seems so broad that it can't possible be true in every circumstance. Always?
      - lotsofpulp 5y ago
        The saying is “pride comes before the fall”. It is more of a general principle of keeping one’s emotions at bay to prevent your biases from clouding the data and your judgment. I am sure there are evolutionary reasons for pride (i.e. ego) such as helping you fight with intensity for scarce resources or for maintaining tribal bonds. But in the modern world, it those circumstances are rarer and someone can use it against you pretty easily.
        ncallaway 5y ago
        I agree that pride _can_ be a liability. The idiom “pride comes before the fall” itself doesn’t imply that pride is _always_ bad, but rather that it has the potential to be bad. I think pride has all kinds of positive and negative features in the modern world. When I take pride in my work, I think about it more carefully and try and deliver a higher quality work. “Pride” and “Craftsmanship” seem very linked to me. That pride helps me deliver high quality work, which keeps clients around and earns referrals, which keeps me paid and food on the table. When I don’t take pride in the work I do, the standards and quality can slip. I’m much happier if I can deliver work to a client that I can stand behind and be proud of. I think that’s in many ways an asset. I certainly don’t disagree with you, though, that there are many scenarios where pride , hubris, and ego end up being problematic.
        lotsofpulp 5y ago
        You make a good point, I guess it’s not an easy one liner!
- DangitBobby 5y ago
  I'm not particularly worried about being taken advantage of. "No" is a well-established part of my vocabulary.
lostlogin 5y ago
Ah, the privilege escalation attack.

bombcar 5y ago

If you want the utility of a pickup truck without the stigma, go for a minivan and a trailer. Of course a minivan has other associated stigma, but you can haul things around without being asked to haul other things. I once read an article by a crane operator that mentioned something like 40% of his jobs were for people who saw him craning something and asked if they could hire him to crane something else nearby.

quickthrowman 5y ago

It costs $19 to rent a truck for 75 minutes from Home Depot and $20 an hour after that, or is what I would tell people if I owned a pickup.

hbarka 5y ago
Yeah, and it’s a pain in the ass because you realize the renting overhead equates to about 4 hours of wasted time to and fro. Then you’re rushing your project because you hear the clock tick and then need it again on Sunday. Will never do a truck rental again.

Arrath 5y ago

I owned a pickup in the city. I absolutely hate moving. I do, however, love free beer and pizza. ...I helped a lot of friends move.

freeopinion 5y ago

A lot of acquaintances have asked me for help fixing their computers, or advice on buying a computer, or help setting up their smart TV, or email on their smart phone. Some have asked me to build apps or websites for them. All expecting help for free. Some people have asked to use my truck, or asked for help loading a moving van. I have asked for free legal advice, tax advice, help installing flooring, help loading a moving van. I have borrowed a neighbor's truck. I have asked for tons of help debugging code or learning some new concept. Sometimes I have turned people down who asked for help. I am grateful to the hundreds of people who have helped me in ways big and small. I understand when people can't. For the most part, I am happy to lend out my truck on occasion. While it is getting used, I'm probably using a browser for free on an operating system for free. A while back I was using a park "for free" when I noticed a family I know working together to pick up all the trash. I know they weren't being paid. They're just super cool like that. Sometimes it just feels great to be super cool in some small way. Some people go out of their way to feel like that at least twice per month.

rootusrootus 5y ago

Just need to learn how to politely say no. If they're friends, they won't take advantage of you, and if they're not friends, it's really easy to say no. Hasn't been a problem for me, but I recognize that this is probably because all my friends have some kind of pickup of their own.