3 ms·

The specific item I remember quite well because of the hubbub it caused (apparently, my astonishment was was considered insulting) was tiramisu. I don't think t

The specific item I remember quite well because of the hubbub it caused (apparently, my astonishment was was considered insulting) was tiramisu. I don't think that is pretentious. It's available from common supermarkets, but this was a few miles outside of Gap, Pennsylvania. I don't know the area well, but Gap is only a town of a thousand people that likely doesn't have restaurants. Lancaster would have, given it has a college. It's not like I got a detailed life history from these people, but if you ever get the chance, the level of culture shock can be striking. The biggest event of my time there was the neighbor's horse that was used to drive the plows sustaining an enormous gash on its front right leg. That effectively stopped work as people rushed to try and stitch it up. With no machinery, they're entirely reliant on horses to accomplish any meaningful field work, so a serious injury to one can severely impact yield. They are prepared for that, though. Thanks to not making much in the way of purchases of virtually anything from the outside world, resources only flow in so they have a surplus of everything they need to last years if they need to hunker down. Any form of community wealth is entirely kept in the community, so there were apparently some fairly vast intergenerational savings built up. So I don't know if the concern was really that being down a plow was going to have any material impact on anyone's ability to eat, but it was dramatic nonetheless. I didn't ask, but I got the impression the guy driving the plow was as distraught as he was because he considered the horse a friend. He seemed distressed by the amount of pain it was in.

Stratoscope 5y ago
> apparently, my astonishment was considered insulting If you feel astonished that someone is unfamiliar with something, that is an emotion best kept to yourself. I have learned this the hard way when people reacted poorly to my own expressions of astonishment. Consider how someone might feel after hearing you say something like this: "What??? You've never heard of tiramisu???" (I'm not saying that's how you put it, just giving an example of an astonished reaction.) Instead, meet them where they are and explain without judgment the unfamiliar term: "Oh, tiramisu is a delicious Italian dessert. It's made with ladyfinger cookies, mascarpone, and coffee. Mascarpone is a soft creamy Italian cheese, often used in desserts, sometimes in savory dishes too. Would you like me to send you a tiramisu recipe? You will be in for a real treat!"
- munificent 5y ago
  Related: https://xkcd.com/1053/ https://xkcd.com/1053/
- scubbo 5y ago
  +1 to the sibling suggestion of xkcd's "Lucky Ten Thousand", but also https://jvns.ca/blog/2017/04/27/no-feigning-surprise/ https://jvns.ca/blog/2017/04/27/no-feigning-surprise/ EDIT: Which, I see now, also quotes the xkcd strip.
  - Stratoscope 5y ago
    That is a great little article. I like the way it addresses how someone may feel that "I'm not feigning surprise, I really am surprised!" As the article says, regardless of how you feel internally, choose the external action that is likely to give a happy interaction rather than an unhappy one.
Natsu 5y ago
I wouldn't say that tiramisu is that common. I myself probably only learned of it 10 years ago or so. I can only think of one place that serves it, and I live in a very large city. As for the animals, yes, it's pretty normal to bond with them and care about them, especially something like a horse. It's definitely a completely different culture, though, no doubts about that.
names_are_hard 5y ago
Wait, is tiramisu really that common that everyone knows what it is? I think you're expecting too much from others. I didn't grow up Amish, and although I did grow up in a non-assimilated insular religious community I've been living in Western secular society for about 10 years now. The only Italian foods I can think of are pasta (I can name spaghetti and macaroni and lasagna and that's it) and pizza, which I knew of since childhood. Lately I've seen the word tiramisu around but I have no idea what it is. I think I saw it on a cake in a bakery and I assumed it was pretentious for chocolate but actually I don't know. I certainly didn't know it was Italian.
- leviathant 5y ago
  Central Pennsylvania has a pretty substantial population of people of Italian heritage, and at least throughout the 90s and early 2000s, a great many of the restaurants in the area served Italian food. I used to eat Italian all the time, and I don't have a drop of Mediterranean blood in me. So, arguably, not knowing about Italian food in Lancaster county would be kind of a shocker.
- jsolson 5y ago
  Going a bit off-topic here, but as a tiramisu lover I feel compelled to say that if you like desserts and coffee, generally, you might consider trying some if the opportunity presents itself. A bit more on topic, I'd generally agree that it's not so common as to be universal. I don't think I'd heard the word in any way that registered as significant before my mid-20s, and I'm certain I never tried it until my late 20s or early 30s. I grew up in the suburbs around Pittsburgh, PA with plenty of passable Italian restaurants -- but tiramisu simply wasn't a dessert people in my family ordered.
  - mbg721 5y ago
    Tiramisu is a more recent invention than other well-known Italian or Italian-American foods, maybe 1970s.
- bryanrasmussen 5y ago
  I can't help thinking of the Tiramisu joke from Sleepless in Seattle https://the-take.com/watch/whats-the-meaning-of-the-tiramisu-joke-in-sleepless-in-seattle https://the-take.com/watch/whats-the-meaning-of-the-tiramisu...

Stratoscope 5y ago

> apparently, my astonishment was considered insulting If you feel astonished that someone is unfamiliar with something, that is an emotion best kept to yourself. I have learned this the hard way when people reacted poorly to my own expressions of astonishment. Consider how someone might feel after hearing you say something like this: "What??? You've never heard of tiramisu???" (I'm not saying that's how you put it, just giving an example of an astonished reaction.) Instead, meet them where they are and explain without judgment the unfamiliar term: "Oh, tiramisu is a delicious Italian dessert. It's made with ladyfinger cookies, mascarpone, and coffee. Mascarpone is a soft creamy Italian cheese, often used in desserts, sometimes in savory dishes too. Would you like me to send you a tiramisu recipe? You will be in for a real treat!"

munificent 5y ago
Related: https://xkcd.com/1053/ https://xkcd.com/1053/
scubbo 5y ago
+1 to the sibling suggestion of xkcd's "Lucky Ten Thousand", but also https://jvns.ca/blog/2017/04/27/no-feigning-surprise/ https://jvns.ca/blog/2017/04/27/no-feigning-surprise/ EDIT: Which, I see now, also quotes the xkcd strip.
- Stratoscope 5y ago
  That is a great little article. I like the way it addresses how someone may feel that "I'm not feigning surprise, I really am surprised!" As the article says, regardless of how you feel internally, choose the external action that is likely to give a happy interaction rather than an unhappy one.

Natsu 5y ago

I wouldn't say that tiramisu is that common. I myself probably only learned of it 10 years ago or so. I can only think of one place that serves it, and I live in a very large city. As for the animals, yes, it's pretty normal to bond with them and care about them, especially something like a horse. It's definitely a completely different culture, though, no doubts about that.

names_are_hard 5y ago

Wait, is tiramisu really that common that everyone knows what it is? I think you're expecting too much from others. I didn't grow up Amish, and although I did grow up in a non-assimilated insular religious community I've been living in Western secular society for about 10 years now. The only Italian foods I can think of are pasta (I can name spaghetti and macaroni and lasagna and that's it) and pizza, which I knew of since childhood. Lately I've seen the word tiramisu around but I have no idea what it is. I think I saw it on a cake in a bakery and I assumed it was pretentious for chocolate but actually I don't know. I certainly didn't know it was Italian.

leviathant 5y ago
Central Pennsylvania has a pretty substantial population of people of Italian heritage, and at least throughout the 90s and early 2000s, a great many of the restaurants in the area served Italian food. I used to eat Italian all the time, and I don't have a drop of Mediterranean blood in me. So, arguably, not knowing about Italian food in Lancaster county would be kind of a shocker.
jsolson 5y ago
Going a bit off-topic here, but as a tiramisu lover I feel compelled to say that if you like desserts and coffee, generally, you might consider trying some if the opportunity presents itself. A bit more on topic, I'd generally agree that it's not so common as to be universal. I don't think I'd heard the word in any way that registered as significant before my mid-20s, and I'm certain I never tried it until my late 20s or early 30s. I grew up in the suburbs around Pittsburgh, PA with plenty of passable Italian restaurants -- but tiramisu simply wasn't a dessert people in my family ordered.
- mbg721 5y ago
  Tiramisu is a more recent invention than other well-known Italian or Italian-American foods, maybe 1970s.
bryanrasmussen 5y ago
I can't help thinking of the Tiramisu joke from Sleepless in Seattle https://the-take.com/watch/whats-the-meaning-of-the-tiramisu-joke-in-sleepless-in-seattle https://the-take.com/watch/whats-the-meaning-of-the-tiramisu...