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> yeah, eventually you just cut off those friends still working at McDonald's That's profound. As "the friend in tech", I've never had this said to my face, bu

> yeah, eventually you just cut off those friends still working at McDonald's That's profound. As "the friend in tech", I've never had this said to my face, but have definitely felt it. There's an us-versus-them mentality when it comes to dealing with those who aren't also in tech; that, somehow, there's no reason to be friends with those who aren't also white-collar professionals. What's more, my own tendency to be friends with non-professionals has in some cases alienated me - who wants to go to a housewarming where half of the people bring Bud Light and tell inappropriate jokes? This split is something I've personally had a lot of trouble rationalizing.

ludamad 5y ago
I didn't hear it from someone in tech; in fact they are now doing house flipping. However, they embodied this 'success personality' quite explicitly. I can definitely relate to hosting parties with mixed moods. Over time you realize you have to host multiple kinds of events - this is more maintainable for having multiple kinds of friendships. I have friends who can be comfortable in any event I might have, but it is best to find those naturally rather than during awkward parties
TheNewsIsHere 5y ago
This hits home with me as well. My spouse and I live a “DINK” lifestyle - dual income, no kids. He works from home for an established (not a startup) multi-billion dollar multinational in the Valley, so we live on the East Coast. He is well compensated enough that I don’t have to work, but I do run our investment property and a small business we founded. The problems we have now are ones most of my own family can’t relate to, so I just don’t share them. His parents used to run an extremely lucrative firm, but that was after they raised him in much less lavish circumstances. So I can talk to them about some of these parts of life, and he and his parents know the value of a dollar. It can be isolating to know how “both halves” live, and I definitely feel a sense of guilt as to the amount of privilege I have and how radically more easy we have it. It does start to become hard to relate to people who don’t have this kind of socioeconomic standing because so much of life is built on how many assets you do or don’t have. Last year we were at Home Depot buying a new, rather pricey appliance for our new home and I realized in talking to the sales lady exactly how out of touch I had become. She had never had what we were purchasing and we were buying a high end model from a high end brand. I was trying to make small talk and I’m sure I sounded like a classist asshole, but I was trying not to. I’m trying really hard to cling to a realistic relationship to money and class.
ericmcer 5y ago
Yeah me too, my childhood friends are all still struggling financially (early 30s now). After a few years in tech I can finally afford vacations like Europe or lazing in Hawaii. My friends still view a vacation as driving to another friends house in a different state and crashing on their couch for a couple days. I don't want my vacation to be sleeping on a couch in a room with 3 other people.

ludamad 5y ago

I didn't hear it from someone in tech; in fact they are now doing house flipping. However, they embodied this 'success personality' quite explicitly. I can definitely relate to hosting parties with mixed moods. Over time you realize you have to host multiple kinds of events - this is more maintainable for having multiple kinds of friendships. I have friends who can be comfortable in any event I might have, but it is best to find those naturally rather than during awkward parties

TheNewsIsHere 5y ago

This hits home with me as well. My spouse and I live a “DINK” lifestyle - dual income, no kids. He works from home for an established (not a startup) multi-billion dollar multinational in the Valley, so we live on the East Coast. He is well compensated enough that I don’t have to work, but I do run our investment property and a small business we founded. The problems we have now are ones most of my own family can’t relate to, so I just don’t share them. His parents used to run an extremely lucrative firm, but that was after they raised him in much less lavish circumstances. So I can talk to them about some of these parts of life, and he and his parents know the value of a dollar. It can be isolating to know how “both halves” live, and I definitely feel a sense of guilt as to the amount of privilege I have and how radically more easy we have it. It does start to become hard to relate to people who don’t have this kind of socioeconomic standing because so much of life is built on how many assets you do or don’t have. Last year we were at Home Depot buying a new, rather pricey appliance for our new home and I realized in talking to the sales lady exactly how out of touch I had become. She had never had what we were purchasing and we were buying a high end model from a high end brand. I was trying to make small talk and I’m sure I sounded like a classist asshole, but I was trying not to. I’m trying really hard to cling to a realistic relationship to money and class.

ericmcer 5y ago

Yeah me too, my childhood friends are all still struggling financially (early 30s now). After a few years in tech I can finally afford vacations like Europe or lazing in Hawaii. My friends still view a vacation as driving to another friends house in a different state and crashing on their couch for a couple days. I don't want my vacation to be sleeping on a couch in a room with 3 other people.