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It affects my life very much. I'm turning 40 this year and I'm still living like a college kid, pulling all-nighters, aimlessly browsing the internet 12-16 hour
by Leparamour 5y ago
It affects my life very much. I'm turning 40 this year and I'm still living like a college kid, pulling all-nighters, aimlessly browsing the internet 12-16 hours a day, 10,000 bookmarks or burning through the whole "The Expanse" bibliography in under two weeks, stuffing myself with sugary shit and strong coffee. Last night I wanted to fry some eggs and forgot about the pan. Thick smoke from the kitchen and the fire alarm blaring reminded me.
I know exactly what to do to change though. I know that the most important pillars are diet, physical activity and good sleep, I own all the right books, I take all the right supplements, I intellectually understand you have to break tasks down to their smallest step in order to reduce activation energy and I know about the compound-effect...and still I can't do it or build a good habit.
I tried many approaches: extensive to-do lists, pomodori, journaling, gamification, tough love, self-love, meditation. Nothing seems to help. Even if I manage to do something positive for a few weeks, I eventually "slip up" and I don't even notice for a few days how I haven't been running in the morning or how I haven't been drinking enough water during the day.
I've been trying to get an official ADHD diagnosis (and perhaps medication down the line) for more than a year now but the process gets delayed and dragged out time and time again, so much that I suspect that the mental healthcare department tasked with giving out ADHD diagnoses must be staffed with fellow ADHDers.
It's especially frustrating to read on the internet how some people seem to get a diagnosis and medication within weeks while I'm losing more and more lifetime.
My life sucks. I'm unemployed and burning through my savings at an insane speed, only running on fumes now.
But I just can't get myself to look for a job or a healthy social life when everything else seems so much more interesting. The impulsiveness has stopped being charming to people a long time ago. A number of them have been separating from me or actively removing me from their lives over me "going nowhere in life" or being an "energy vampire".
- emteycz 5y agoYou wrote what I wanted to say about myself but 'somehow' couldn't. I solved the doctor issue by unofficial ways. I would be on the street now if I didn't (as I was living in my car when I began). Keep trying to get a doctor, medication really helps - though I need oversight, I would snort it all at once without my girlfriend by my side... Don't go the medication way if you don't have a doctor or a partner to help you.
- Leparamour 5y agoThanks for your input. I'll keep that in mind in case I ever get a prescription for ADHD medication. And it's nice to know that I didn't just scream into the void.
- emteycz 5y agoAre you a programmer/do other tech-related profession? I'm thinking about my work patterns - I can give a week or two of nonstop attention if it's really exciting or rewarding before needing a long pause, however projects like that are hard to find. Perhaps ADHD-friendly marketplace with these short-but-possibly-hard projects could be made. Do you think this would work for you?
- Leparamour 5y ago> Do you think this would work for you? If I find a way to selectively apply the hyperfocus to useful tasks that might work. So far, my experiments with gig-based work from places like Upwork were rather discouraging. I always worked customer-facing roles, unfortunately I never managed to learn coding beyond absolute beginner level (Python, C++) but I'm pretty good at engrossing myself chasing down rabbit holes for information. Finding work that combined this trait with a purpose, would surely be my Ikigai[1]. Perhaps something like an Analyst position. But as a college dropout with a spotty resume like mine that's probably not going to happen. I often also wonder if ADHDers would perhaps do well in short-term emergency response roles (IT or business). [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai
- new_user8675309 5y agoAppreciate you articulating your experience. I resonate especially with “slip ups” which ruin a routine. Also, knowing what to do but without the follow through. I’ve tried medication as an adult. It doesn’t fix all my problems but helps me get started doing things I don’t particularly want to do. Unsure of your insurance situation. I’ve identified two paths: 1. Specialized ADHD care 2. Generalized psychiatry/medication I went with #2 as #1 seemed to require several thousand dollars upfront, and potential insurance gymnastics which I doubt my ability to follow through on. With #2, a shotgun approach to finding care is effective. Some practitioners are not accepting new patients. Try a bunch. Psychiatrists aren’t the only ones who can prescribe medication. If you have a PCP they can also prescribe it. There are also nurse practitioners. #1 may be better long-term. Haven’t explored this further.
- kubanczyk 5y ago> Last night I wanted to fry some eggs and forgot about the pan. I had a good laugh imagining pouring eggs on an old-school electric stove.