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My wife and I decided on a no-social media policy for our kids. We have a teenager and a 5 month old. Our teenager has a phone we found that is a locked down A
by hosh 5y ago
My wife and I decided on a no-social media policy for our kids. We have a teenager and a 5 month old.
Our teenager has a phone we found that is a locked down Android, and has no internet (no wifi or 4g/5g). It is just a phone, with multimedia text, and non-network enabled calendar, clock. There is no app store.
My daughter is autistic. Our problems with the phone has more to do with her feeling like we are cutting her off of connecting with people she clings to, triggering some childhood history. I have no idea what will happen when our neurotypical son becomes a teenager.
There is much more to life than just what are on devices, and I have a general idea on how to approach this. I have been studying, and to some extent, applying regenerative paradigms. A good deal of that will involve the kids into the natural cycle of life. To viscerally experience where their food comes from, and where it goes. How to connect with another living being as a whole being in an ecosystem and community, whether that being is a human, animal, or plant. I am going to teach them the ethical framework, “care for people”, “care for land”, “fair share”.
Technology, then, is thoughtfully applied within that context.
What that means, I am still discovering for myself. But I have already made some progress on that —- what Christopher Alexander really meant by pattern languages and a timeless way of building; what Smalltalk and Hypercard had in common, why we had turned our back to it, and maybe it is time to use it; the philosophy of Free Software and how it is different than open source, and why it matters more than basic rights and liberty; how sandstorm.io enables community-oriented and local platforms.
It has not all gelled together for me yet, but I know something is there.
- thehappypm 5y agoSomewhat ironic that you don't let your children use social media but here you are posting on a social media site.
- enriquec 5y agoalso remarkably ironic that they seem to want their kids to value life outside of technology but then proceed to say that software project licensing is more important than "basic rights and liberty" - completely out-of-touch
- booleandilemma 5y agoNot really. Kids are not adults. They’re two separate categories of people. Maybe OP drinks alcohol but they don’t let their kids drink it. Maybe they own firearms but they don’t let their kids wield them. Maybe they watch movies with violence and gore but they don’t want their kids watching them. etc. There is a double standard, and there should be, imo.
- numpad0 5y agoActually from biological standpoint there are no clear lines between kids and adults. That distinction is post-industrial revolution cultural one.
- booleandilemma 5y agoI’m not a biologist, but isn’t puberty still a thing?
- jkinudsjknds 5y agoTwo groups can be very different without a clear line delineating them.
- coddle-hark 5y agoThere are no clear lines between summer and winter but sandals stop being appropriate footwear at some point nevertheless.
- PoignardAzur 5y agoOkay, but the potential harm / average good of internet access is orders of magnitude away from that of a firearm. As a teenager, I would have loathed being restricted from the internet the way the above poster describes restricting their autistic teenager's. (in fact, on one occasion my mother did restrict my computer access because I wouldn't go to the guitar lessons she paid for me anymore, I did absolutely loathe it, and I still consider that mildly abusive)
- supernovae 5y agoDevices aren't life, but they're part of ones life. Computers/tech are books, pen, paper, mail, the telephone, TV, radio, music - it is culture. It's the vehicle to connect people to all of that. Dehumanizing it won't do much to help people stay connected to humanity. I'm not saying it's easy, i've had some epic battles with my kids in how they handle/navigate the complex social structures around technology in the palms of their hands - but i certainly don't think taking that away does anything and may be detrimental. Society is all of us... There isn't a single one of us that didn't stay up all night reading a book, watching a movie, talking on the phone, writing a letter, sending "beeper" texts out, texting on smart beepers, getting on BBSs, connecting to internet, having phones, then text messages and so on and so forth. It's all connectedness and culture we've always had, but now more readily available. Help your children navigate it, grow in it and thrive in it. Be there to keep it safe.
- Barrin92 5y agoThere's a big difference between reading at night or engaging with culture and the ephemeral content of social media newsfeeds. Yes, it's important for children to engage with culture, to read, to explore music but this shouldn't be used as an argument to justify everything that can be grouped in under 'connectedness'. It's interesting you put reading there first because that is actually a solitary activity. Today it's arguably much more important to teach kids how to engage with their own minds and how to spend time alone and build out their own personality and views than hooking them into Instagram feeds. Which is not social in any genuine sense of the word.
- supernovae 5y agoScreen time for people that create/learn/do is much different than screen time for people that consume consume consume. With that said, everything should be done in moderation. It's a skill important to know whether your socializing, or spending time alone.
- hosh 5y agoIt is the moderation part I al concerned with. Facebook is incentivized to create UX that draws your attention back to the content. The algorithms doesn’t care which content, just that you keep going with it. That kind of vapid interaction is not engaging meaningfully or socially with other people ... instead, it turns people into social media zombies. The old school online forums were not designed to create such attention. Posts are made asynchronously. Absolute instead of relative timestamps are used. There are purpose-designed social media software with UX designed to bring people to consensus rather than dissension. They have been used in highly contentious political debates and bring about policy consensus. But you cannot monetize that.