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Of all of the personality traits I have attempted to change over the years, my introversion has remained the most stubborn. It's a shame, too. I can briefly e
by at_a_remove 5y ago
Of all of the personality traits I have attempted to change over the years, my introversion has remained the most stubborn. It's a shame, too. I can briefly emulate extraversion, at an enormous cost of mental energy and feel like a dog walking on its hind legs. Nor do I seem to be able to extract the purported benefits of it. And the list of approaches I have exhausted is, in retrospect, more than a little shocking. It's the one area where "fake it until you make it" seems to have failed me utterly.
- WhompingWindows 5y agoWhat methods have you tried to emulate extraversion? A friend of mine used improv and acting to help them "act" more extroverted, YMMV. Me, I'm still emulating too.
- at_a_remove 5y agoFirst, just going out and doing things, namely concerts. Hundreds upon hundreds of concerts. I'm very good at going to concerts (obtaining tickets, optimal parking, getting everything ready) but I still do not enjoy myself. Various combinations of medications, prescribed and self-selected, have failed. It wasn't exhaustive exactly but I would say that it was a good survey of the field. Memorizing quite a lot of detail about people helps in making you seem engaged, but there's a fine line (past a certain point, if you confess to remembering whatever counts as "too much," it becomes "creepy"), and it still hasn't affected the base. Self-talk, acting, improv -- it increases the fidelity of the emulation but it's still emulation. At the end of the day, other people say "hello" and I have failed the initiative check, and am pondering what exactly do I say back to them, and they've already gone by. A remarkably stable trait for me.
- owlninja 5y agoRegarding concerts, do you enjoy music?
- at_a_remove 5y agoYes, quite a bit.
- oblio 5y agoI'm an extrovert, I enjoy music, I don't really enjoy concerts.
- smabie 5y agoAdderall and/or alcohol seem to work well for me. But those aren't exactly costless either..
- at_a_remove 5y agoThose are definitely in the list of things I have tried. I had high hopes for a stimulant of some kind.
- Shraal 5y agoWhat does it mean to you to be extroverted or what kind of benefits do you want to achieve by emulating this trait(s)? Personally, I really don't like this differentiation between introverts and extroverts because I don't see where I fit in on this scale. Reducing so many hard to define traits like empathy, compassion, charisma, social competence, emotional intelligence, etc. and all kind of personal experiences and habits to a single binary label doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Are you an introvert if you don't like to be around most people in your current environment but can't stop talking for hours when you're around people that you actually like? Do you become introvert after an unfortunate series of events, which create serious trust issues and result in you staying at home more often instead of constantly going out like in the past? Are you an extrovert when you can't be alone because then you will experiences constant FOMO, can't stop yourself from ruminating or need constant approvement from others and socializing whenever you can is your only coping mechanism. Are you a real extrovert if you get along really good with a lot of strangers on a daily basis as part of your job but prefer to spend most of your free time alone reading, painting etc.? Sometimes it looks almost like a self-fullfilling-prophecy when someone labels themself this way.