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> girls suddenly became more interesting than space marines (and seemed mutually exclusive) I’m 45 - they still do. I’ve had geeky hobbies as an adult and knew

> girls suddenly became more interesting than space marines (and seemed mutually exclusive) I’m 45 - they still do. I’ve had geeky hobbies as an adult and knew one woman who was into miniatures, but over time I’ve come to value female friendships more than my mutually exclusive geeky hobbies. Somehow I seem to have gone from introverted to full on extrovert in the last 30+ years, I’m still not sure how it happened, but at this point in my life social connections are really at the heart of who I am, and solitary pursuits are much less consuming. No real point in making this comment other than self reflection, and perhaps curiosity as to how many others made such a transition. Maybe it is typical, I just did not see it until it had already happened. Video games became boring. Ah, I just don’t have enough time! Nope, turns out I’m just really not that interested any more. Fascinating.

drsopp 5y ago
I'm also 45. My transition from an introvert to an extrovert was a conscious effort when going from computer security to teaching. I never gave up on my geeky hobbies after marriage but haven't really had much time for them, especially after parenthood..
UncleMeat 5y ago
Mid 30s. I paint minis with my wife on the regular. Exactly zero of my friends who are women think my minis are weird. Almost everybody who comes over and sees the display cases says “wow how awesome”. The hobby community is heavily male because of marketing and a community that was actively hostile to women (similar to many male dominated hobbies). But nothing about the actual activity should be gendered. Don’t let shitty culture control your decisions. Be the change!
wayoutthere 5y ago
One of my best friends is a die-hard female 40k player (late 30s) who plays Sisters and Necrons. Her armies are even painted. But you’re right, she’s said she’s usually the only woman at any of the gatherings she goes to and she has to deal with gross boys slobbering over her (she’s cute and dorky). But she’s also made friends with plenty of guys who respect that she’s in a relationship because in your 30s most adults are mature enough to have platonic opposite-sex relationships. But I think what you’re talking about. I went through a similar transition, when hobbies went from a way to occupy time to a way to meet people. Once you hit 30, people’s lives diverge to such a degree you actually have to put yourself out in the world if you want to have friends. If you don’t have kids you have to seek out other child-free people (no knock on parents; it’s just not for me). I got back into video games over the pandemic because the situation called for occupying time in solitude, but totally leaving that all behind now that gatherings are a thing again. Personally I think it’s a bit of a mid-life crisis: the term has a negative meaning in the west as a stereotype where someone will go out and buy a sports car and get a younger boyfriend/girlfriend, but for many people it’s just a bit of feeling your own mortality and carving out a life that makes you happy now that you’re old enough to understand what drives you.
- YeGoblynQueenne 5y ago
  A sports car... or a Forge World Titan...

drsopp 5y ago

I'm also 45. My transition from an introvert to an extrovert was a conscious effort when going from computer security to teaching. I never gave up on my geeky hobbies after marriage but haven't really had much time for them, especially after parenthood..

UncleMeat 5y ago

Mid 30s. I paint minis with my wife on the regular. Exactly zero of my friends who are women think my minis are weird. Almost everybody who comes over and sees the display cases says “wow how awesome”. The hobby community is heavily male because of marketing and a community that was actively hostile to women (similar to many male dominated hobbies). But nothing about the actual activity should be gendered. Don’t let shitty culture control your decisions. Be the change!

wayoutthere 5y ago

One of my best friends is a die-hard female 40k player (late 30s) who plays Sisters and Necrons. Her armies are even painted. But you’re right, she’s said she’s usually the only woman at any of the gatherings she goes to and she has to deal with gross boys slobbering over her (she’s cute and dorky). But she’s also made friends with plenty of guys who respect that she’s in a relationship because in your 30s most adults are mature enough to have platonic opposite-sex relationships. But I think what you’re talking about. I went through a similar transition, when hobbies went from a way to occupy time to a way to meet people. Once you hit 30, people’s lives diverge to such a degree you actually have to put yourself out in the world if you want to have friends. If you don’t have kids you have to seek out other child-free people (no knock on parents; it’s just not for me). I got back into video games over the pandemic because the situation called for occupying time in solitude, but totally leaving that all behind now that gatherings are a thing again. Personally I think it’s a bit of a mid-life crisis: the term has a negative meaning in the west as a stereotype where someone will go out and buy a sports car and get a younger boyfriend/girlfriend, but for many people it’s just a bit of feeling your own mortality and carving out a life that makes you happy now that you’re old enough to understand what drives you.

YeGoblynQueenne 5y ago
A sports car... or a Forge World Titan...