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Read or audible How to win friends and influence people by Carnegie. That’s it. Just get along with folks. Consider this reinforcing loop: The stronger relatio

by Reebz 5y ago

Read or audible How to win friends and influence people by Carnegie. That’s it. Just get along with folks. Consider this reinforcing loop: The stronger relationships you build the less attempts there will be to push you over, and with more relationships you will have more support in the event that it occurs, which in turn fuels your confidence in all matters when you may be alone at time of the event. Context: my career went dev (not long) to consulting to product (most time) to executive management (current).

Graffur 5y ago
Doesn't this book offer advice like smiling at everyone all the time and saying their name? I frequently cringe when I see this playing out with people I meet. It makes me so uncomfortable that they're following a ruleset when communicating with people.
- aristofun 5y ago
  These are not rules. These are instincts and bio-social mechanisms. Thanks to them we survived and evolve. One should have respect for them.
  - Graffur 5y ago
    Simply: no.
    - aristofun 5y ago
      Okay, a guy from internet knows better than hundreds of authors :)
      - Graffur 5y ago
        Don't make me invoke Godwin's law :)
        aristofun 5y ago
        But what exactly “no”? No, we there’s no mechanisms behind reciprocal smiles for instance? Or no, they don’t play role in our survival? Or no, we shouldn’t respect them?
- Reebz 5y ago
  Not in that context. Anything must be done with authenticity. The book is really clear and even addresses that you simply can’t do it all the time. It illustrates the need to take the time to build relationships and, critically, listen. Don’t fake it. Avoid any “SparkNotes” version of this book. It deserves a full read/listen. Although it’s decades old it is pragmatic and touches on topics like social proof and network effects before they were mainstream.
  - Graffur 5y ago
    I have evaluated the book and don't think it deserves a full read or listen.
    - Reebz 5y ago
      Can you share your evaluation that drove your decision to not fully read the book? I’m genuinely interested. Maybe it is my own personal flaw, but I’ve often pushed through enjoyable books to reach the end, which probably isn’t the best use of my time.
    - beckingz 5y ago
      I am also interested in your evaluation. Why does it not deserve a full read?

by Reebz 5y ago

Graffur 5y ago

Doesn't this book offer advice like smiling at everyone all the time and saying their name? I frequently cringe when I see this playing out with people I meet. It makes me so uncomfortable that they're following a ruleset when communicating with people.

aristofun 5y ago
These are not rules. These are instincts and bio-social mechanisms. Thanks to them we survived and evolve. One should have respect for them.
- Graffur 5y ago
  Simply: no.
  - aristofun 5y ago
    Okay, a guy from internet knows better than hundreds of authors :)
    - Graffur 5y ago
      Don't make me invoke Godwin's law :)
      - aristofun 5y ago
        But what exactly “no”? No, we there’s no mechanisms behind reciprocal smiles for instance? Or no, they don’t play role in our survival? Or no, we shouldn’t respect them?
Reebz 5y ago
Not in that context. Anything must be done with authenticity. The book is really clear and even addresses that you simply can’t do it all the time. It illustrates the need to take the time to build relationships and, critically, listen. Don’t fake it. Avoid any “SparkNotes” version of this book. It deserves a full read/listen. Although it’s decades old it is pragmatic and touches on topics like social proof and network effects before they were mainstream.
- Graffur 5y ago
  I have evaluated the book and don't think it deserves a full read or listen.
  - Reebz 5y ago
    Can you share your evaluation that drove your decision to not fully read the book? I’m genuinely interested. Maybe it is my own personal flaw, but I’ve often pushed through enjoyable books to reach the end, which probably isn’t the best use of my time.
  - beckingz 5y ago
    I am also interested in your evaluation. Why does it not deserve a full read?