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The gist is, be the trusted person who has the backs of the other team mates. Don't have to be the best performer, but be loyal to your team. Be the person who
by bourgwaletariat 5y ago
The gist is, be the trusted person who has the backs of the other team mates. Don't have to be the best performer, but be loyal to your team. Be the person who can be trusted with the project work, but also off the team too, like with someone's spouse and money, heh.
But, that's not how to survive a toxic workplace, that's how to get a job somewhere else once you're axed.
The only way, really, to survive a toxic work place is to either be a bully or a target. There's no one else. You're a bully, or you're a target. Pick one.
My advice, just start compiling the instances of bullying. Report them to HR on the record. If HR refuses to do something about it, then depending on your jurisdiction, you might have a legal case. Be sure to have lots of documentation over the course of several months to a year at least.
The probability of that goes up if you are a full-time employee outside the USA, or a member of a protected class if you're inside the USA. Otherwise, don't bother with the documentation, just start looking for another job and save your sanity.
If you cannot quit or find another job for whatever reason, you'll likely need to intentionally bifurcate your psyche. If you're a genuine person with integrity and a focus on improving the quality of life at a company, you have to remember: You're alone in this effort. It'll take heroic effort and probably fail.
Separate yourself from your employee-ness. You care about your employer, the other folks there do not. They will ask you why you care so much. They won't care that you care. You caring is reason enough for them to make your life miserable.
Your conversations will devolve to single word responses. Yes. No. Or... deflect to "ask [insert coworker]."
Do not give real answers, they will only be ammunition against you. They will justify whatever action they wanted to do anyway with, "Well [you] said whatever." It does not matter what you actually said. Having said anything at all to someone to whom the answers don't matter, only their unknown political agenda, will harm you and your career.
If you say, "That's not what I said." They'll say, "Yes you did."
If you can say, "No I didn't, all I said was 'Ask [insert coworker].'"
Of course they can say, "Well why didn't you know?"
Remember, there is no escape. There is no right answer. There is nothing right you can do. All mistakes are your fault.
They will drive you insane.
Get a counselor. Talk to someone who has been through it or can understand.
You caring is your problem. I encourage you to not stop caring. That's no good for anyone. If there are 2 or three or 4 people there who are toxic, it's too late. Management has failed. Work on your exit strategy.
Remember, toxic work places are the result of absent management. Management does not care. Management itself might be toxic.
Don't become toxic yourself. Just separate your work self from your actual self outside work.
Frankly, I can't do that. I work. That's all I do. That's what I love to do, so I can't be the person who just stops caring and so if you're like that to, I get it.
You're probably just going to have to find another job -- or create your own.
Consider entrepreneurship. Try saving up enough money while you're there to break off and do your own thing.
Depending on your employment agreement be careful about working on another idea outside work. They might own that too and come after you.
Sometimes your toxic dealings with a company don't end when you leave. An extraordinarily toxic boss will continue to harass you until long after you leave. Demand you work on things. Demand you fix bugs he created after you left. Without pay of course. Lie to his management. Get the corporate lawyers after you for whatever reason.
Been there. God help ya if you have one of those. It's a nightmare.
I guess you could survive it, but ... it's just not worth it. Just go somewhere else. If you're in this industry and you're the kind of person who is being attacked like that because you care, like... really, just think about that for a second. They hate you, because you care and they don't.
Find a team that cares. Join it. Be happy.
Or do your own thing.
Save your sanity.
- lazyasciiart 5y ago> Get a counselor. Talk to someone who has been through it or can understand.... I encourage you to not stop caring I got a counselor who absolutely thought the problem was me caring whether my colleagues were actively lying to each other. I quit her and the job, thank God.
- treeman79 5y agoMost places that I’ve seen that are toxic, the HR either ignores it or joins in. One explained to me that he would love to quit in disgust but HR managers are a dime a dozen.