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I’m sorry to hear about your anxiety, it sounds terrible to have to process those feelings in such everyday situations. You shouldn’t feel bad about the way you

I’m sorry to hear about your anxiety, it sounds terrible to have to process those feelings in such everyday situations. You shouldn’t feel bad about the way your mind has dealt with experiencing horrific videos, and how it has led to anxiety around death and risk assessment. It’s not normal to witness or experience such events, especially when they are concentrated and amplified on a site like LiveLeaks. We simply haven’t evolved to predictably handle such an intense cross section through human suffering. Everyone will handle the emotions differently. >the exhaustion of having to put so much energy and trust into therapists that ultimately never work out Are you speaking hypothetically or have you attempted to talk about these feelings before with a mental health professional?

nonbirithm 5y ago
I'm not speaking hypothetically; I have spoken to many different therapists over the years. I attempted to seek out ones that would practice cognitive behavioral therapy, but because I guess I'm not good at finding them, I've had ones that tell me they'd rather do things their way. This is after having to switch from one to another and restart the relationship if it doesn't work out. I don't think I can recall any single person I've attempted to cooperate with ultimately producing a positive outcome yet. Seeing someone who is a stranger to you every few months with the expectation that you'll have to open up and explain the darkest aspects of yourself all over again is very draining after it's been repeated too many times. I absolutely could be doing this wrong, but every time it doesn't work out I tend to lose faith. I wanted therapy to work out for myself, and the people around me are still telling me that I should keep trying to get into therapy, as if it's the last and only option left for me to improve my life, as if there is no other practical way of treating my issues. Given that nobody around me has professional knowledge of the techniques, and that my friends and family are generally not going to want to listen to everything that's on my mind, I'm inclined to believe them. I probably just haven't found the right person for me yet. About all the people close to me say is "finding a good therapist is hard" and leave it at that. They're not wrong, but I'm trying to figure out how to work around this problem, and it's frustrating. I'm currently on a wait-list for several, and I will only potentially be able to see them for the first time after several months at minimum, perhaps because the pandemic has caused an overwhelming demand for mental health services.
- koolhaas 5y ago
  I hear you on the frustration with finding a good therapist. I’ve heard it’s not abnormal to go through 5+ before you find one who you really like. By the way, a good strategy can be to set up initial consultations with multiple in near succession, so you don’t have to wait so long before you can evaluate the next person. If you land on someone you really like, cancel the other appts. But like you say, COVID is also making the situation worse. For example, all psychotherapists affiliated with my PCP’s hospital are booked out 6+ months. Therapy isn’t your only option, but it’s a great option if you find someone you enjoy working with. Like life changing great. You should also be upfront with them about what you’re looking for (sounds like you are). If they ignore you that’s a red flag. Your PCP might have a locator service as well, which can save you some hassle. If you know you want CBT, that should be a primary filter. You can try to solve your issues on your own but it can take a lot more work. Eg you have to start by understanding what anxiety is, where it’s coming from (not the literal thoughts, but on a subconscious level), and work to confront your deeper underlying emotions. Meditation. Understanding yourself. Not impossible, but up hill, and not appropriate for all issues. You could be blind to a lot of issues that a third party can help you identify. Check out the book Self Analysis by Karen Horney (have not read, just seen as a recommendation). While you continue your search, I can make a recommendation to you, it’s a YT channel: https://youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG https://youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG Ignore the “gamer” label. There’s a ton of good general advice on there. It’s an MD psychotherapist talking to primarily gamers and internet people about a wide selection of mental health topics. And then some more lecture style content. Ex search for anxiety. There’s a lot of advice on relieving symptoms, and understanding the mechanisms involved. He mixes standard western style approaches like psychotherapy with eastern style understanding of mind/body, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. And here’s a guide to therapy, I found it super helpful: https://youtu.be/YuLfFqPFrkc https://youtu.be/YuLfFqPFrkc Best of luck!

nonbirithm 5y ago

I'm not speaking hypothetically; I have spoken to many different therapists over the years. I attempted to seek out ones that would practice cognitive behavioral therapy, but because I guess I'm not good at finding them, I've had ones that tell me they'd rather do things their way. This is after having to switch from one to another and restart the relationship if it doesn't work out. I don't think I can recall any single person I've attempted to cooperate with ultimately producing a positive outcome yet. Seeing someone who is a stranger to you every few months with the expectation that you'll have to open up and explain the darkest aspects of yourself all over again is very draining after it's been repeated too many times. I absolutely could be doing this wrong, but every time it doesn't work out I tend to lose faith. I wanted therapy to work out for myself, and the people around me are still telling me that I should keep trying to get into therapy, as if it's the last and only option left for me to improve my life, as if there is no other practical way of treating my issues. Given that nobody around me has professional knowledge of the techniques, and that my friends and family are generally not going to want to listen to everything that's on my mind, I'm inclined to believe them. I probably just haven't found the right person for me yet. About all the people close to me say is "finding a good therapist is hard" and leave it at that. They're not wrong, but I'm trying to figure out how to work around this problem, and it's frustrating. I'm currently on a wait-list for several, and I will only potentially be able to see them for the first time after several months at minimum, perhaps because the pandemic has caused an overwhelming demand for mental health services.

koolhaas 5y ago
I hear you on the frustration with finding a good therapist. I’ve heard it’s not abnormal to go through 5+ before you find one who you really like. By the way, a good strategy can be to set up initial consultations with multiple in near succession, so you don’t have to wait so long before you can evaluate the next person. If you land on someone you really like, cancel the other appts. But like you say, COVID is also making the situation worse. For example, all psychotherapists affiliated with my PCP’s hospital are booked out 6+ months. Therapy isn’t your only option, but it’s a great option if you find someone you enjoy working with. Like life changing great. You should also be upfront with them about what you’re looking for (sounds like you are). If they ignore you that’s a red flag. Your PCP might have a locator service as well, which can save you some hassle. If you know you want CBT, that should be a primary filter. You can try to solve your issues on your own but it can take a lot more work. Eg you have to start by understanding what anxiety is, where it’s coming from (not the literal thoughts, but on a subconscious level), and work to confront your deeper underlying emotions. Meditation. Understanding yourself. Not impossible, but up hill, and not appropriate for all issues. You could be blind to a lot of issues that a third party can help you identify. Check out the book Self Analysis by Karen Horney (have not read, just seen as a recommendation). While you continue your search, I can make a recommendation to you, it’s a YT channel: https://youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG https://youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG Ignore the “gamer” label. There’s a ton of good general advice on there. It’s an MD psychotherapist talking to primarily gamers and internet people about a wide selection of mental health topics. And then some more lecture style content. Ex search for anxiety. There’s a lot of advice on relieving symptoms, and understanding the mechanisms involved. He mixes standard western style approaches like psychotherapy with eastern style understanding of mind/body, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. And here’s a guide to therapy, I found it super helpful: https://youtu.be/YuLfFqPFrkc https://youtu.be/YuLfFqPFrkc Best of luck!