My situation is my own, and this is a really broad question. Generally, how I look at it is: My mother is my past and present. My wife is my present and futu

My situation is my own, and this is a really broad question. Generally, how I look at it is: My mother is my past and present. My wife is my present and future. I let those two ideas inform my investment of time and energy. I have not had any conflict where I had to choose one over the other, though. The first one to demand priority from me would likely lose it, because that's how I'm wired. Good luck working this out for your situation.