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> husband Yup. Pro tip: If you're at a SV-influenced company and you find yourself talking about your personal life, don't say "husband," "wife," "boyfriend,"
by FooBarBizBazz 6y ago
> husband
Yup. Pro tip: If you're at a SV-influenced company and you find yourself talking about your personal life, don't say "husband," "wife," "boyfriend," or "girlfriend;" say "partner." That signals that you're an Ally rather than an Enemy.
You'll notice other weird speech patterns too. Pay attention to them; they're meaningful.
- thrownaway564 6y agoTruth. from the "guidance" page: "More inclusive: Spouses/partners <> Less inclusive: Wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends"
- evrydayhustling 6y agoCurious about the context here - is the guidance page suggesting how to refer to your own relationships, or when referring to an abstract group of relationships?
- t0mbstone 6y agoBut isn't your restriction of my language and how I refer to the people I love pretty much the opposite of "inclusion"? What if my wife would prefer if I referred to her as my "wife" instead of as a generic, faceless "partner"? By insisting that I refer to her as a genderless "partner", you are failing to respect her chosen pronoun.
- joshuamorton 6y agoThis is almost certainly for product or marketing materials, and not for you talking about your personal relationships. That is Okta should not talk about building a security tool for you and your wife to use, but instead for you and your partner to use. Because I have no clue who your partner is (or really if you have one) so I shouldn't assume until I have that information. Note that the words in the example are all plural, presumably referring to multiple other peoples' partners.
- t0mbstone 6y agoOh, I see what you are saying. I can definitely get behind the use of gender neutral language in product and marketing materials. That part makes sense anyways.
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- NDizzle 6y agoSorry to be so blunt, but fuck that. Fuck that, man. Fuck. That.
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- wyclif 6y agoI often see that peculiar speech pattern here on HN! It's like they're afraid to say 'wife' out of fear of offending the woke mob. The same people who are OK with work being a constant struggle seminar.
- shagie 6y agoI use "sibling" rather than "brother" or "sister" and "parent" rather than "mother" or "father" to reduce information leakage. "Partner" could find the same use. This isn't any woke thing - its just a "don't reveal information that isn't necessary."
- t0mbstone 6y agoAh, yes. Let's just obfuscate every humanizing aspect of our lives to ensure we are seen as a replaceable cogs in the money making machine instead of real people with feelings.
- jyounker 6y ago^^^ This. So much this. My boss isn't entitle to know the details of my life, nor is the company, nor are my co-workers. You earn the details of my life by being my friend, not through a contractual relationship.
- whywhywhywhy 6y agoWhat word do they suggest in place of 'hacker'?