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The longer I live, and especially after having read that post, the more I think the civil institution of marriage is a mistake. We would be better off, if it re

The longer I live, and especially after having read that post, the more I think the civil institution of marriage is a mistake. We would be better off, if it remained a purely religious or traditional ceremony, without the government putting a stack of papers into the equation. Just let people be happy together; even bound by a promise, if they wish so, but without the external pressure and the fallout in case they fall out of love. Divorces are such a complicated and often-times life ruining experience. So many people are pushed by their families (or even blackmailed by their partners) to go into a marriage they are often not very sure about, and have no easy way to get out of. It's probably one of the riskiest contracts one can sign.

sokoloff 5y ago
I'll take some of the other side here. I'm married; my wife didn't have strong feelings about getting married (lived in Europe for a while and was comfortable raising a family together unmarried); I wanted to get married earlier than we did. We have two children together and she wanted to stay home with the kids for a few years but wasn't willing to do that without the framework of a marriage in place. Was 10 years ago and no sign that we're headed for trouble, but the civil and legal framework and what was at stake as a result was helpful to support a choice that we were all fortunate to benefit from all around (with a slight hit to retirement savings account balances).
brandmeyer 5y ago
> Fallout in case they fall out of love. Divorces are such a complicated and often-times life ruining experience. The fallout is going to happen no matter what. Marriage and Divorce law exist to bring a bare minimum of equity in the outcome and assure the care of any minor children who are affected.
kelnos 5y ago
A breakup sans marriage is still going to be devastating. At minimum, how do you decide who gets what, without some sort of legal framework around it? What if you end up in the hospital, unconscious? Who makes care decisions for you? Sure, we can have a legal framework just for that, but that's just one more thing you have to do. What if you die? Who gets your stuff? Sure, you should have written up a will, but many people haven't done it. More overhead. Something to consider is how long homosexual communities have fought for marriage equality. Yes, part of it is certainly symbolic, but I've spoken to gay/lesbian friends who (when they couldn't get married) were anxious all the time about not having the legal benefits around marriage. I think it'd be possible to not have legal marriage anymore, but you'd still have to have a bunch of legal constructs around the idea of being partnered to someone in order for many life things to work properly. Whether or not that would be better or worse is certainly up for debate.

sokoloff 5y ago

I'll take some of the other side here. I'm married; my wife didn't have strong feelings about getting married (lived in Europe for a while and was comfortable raising a family together unmarried); I wanted to get married earlier than we did. We have two children together and she wanted to stay home with the kids for a few years but wasn't willing to do that without the framework of a marriage in place. Was 10 years ago and no sign that we're headed for trouble, but the civil and legal framework and what was at stake as a result was helpful to support a choice that we were all fortunate to benefit from all around (with a slight hit to retirement savings account balances).

brandmeyer 5y ago

> Fallout in case they fall out of love. Divorces are such a complicated and often-times life ruining experience. The fallout is going to happen no matter what. Marriage and Divorce law exist to bring a bare minimum of equity in the outcome and assure the care of any minor children who are affected.

kelnos 5y ago

A breakup sans marriage is still going to be devastating. At minimum, how do you decide who gets what, without some sort of legal framework around it? What if you end up in the hospital, unconscious? Who makes care decisions for you? Sure, we can have a legal framework just for that, but that's just one more thing you have to do. What if you die? Who gets your stuff? Sure, you should have written up a will, but many people haven't done it. More overhead. Something to consider is how long homosexual communities have fought for marriage equality. Yes, part of it is certainly symbolic, but I've spoken to gay/lesbian friends who (when they couldn't get married) were anxious all the time about not having the legal benefits around marriage. I think it'd be possible to not have legal marriage anymore, but you'd still have to have a bunch of legal constructs around the idea of being partnered to someone in order for many life things to work properly. Whether or not that would be better or worse is certainly up for debate.