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I didn't view it as gaslighting, I viewed it in the way I said it: she may have not wanted to demand a 'genuine' diamond, so she left it open-ended. What woman
by akarma 5y ago
I didn't view it as gaslighting, I viewed it in the way I said it: she may have not wanted to demand a 'genuine' diamond, so she left it open-ended. What woman wants to demand that when asked for preference? Demanding it would remove the sincerity and meaningfulness of the man's gesture.
On the note of carnations for Valentine's Day, I'd view it in much the same way. Unless she's told you how much she adores and prefers carnations on Valentine's Day, roses are the best bet.
My partner and past partners have always fit that type, and I don't think either is lucky or better or right. I personally enjoy the tradition and the unspoken symbolism in the gifts, and striving to make her happy without it being spelled out for me.
I'm happy you have someone who makes you feel lucky, and who matches your preferences for communication and a relationship — finding that is possibly the greatest feeling in life. I simply aim to point out that either are valid, normal preferences and dynamics, as opposed to one being gaslighting.
- Izkata 5y ago> Unless she's told you how much she adores and prefers carnations on Valentine's Day, roses are the best bet. Um, she did say with regards to the gem, that's the confusing part.
- akarma 5y agoA woman saying she doesn't mind carnations, and that she thinks carnations are fine, is not nearly the same as saying she adores them and prefers them for the occasion of Valentine's Day.
- mNovak 5y agoWhen the stakes are that high however, this is the definition of poor communication. No one's a mind reader, and how many other unspoken expectations are there?
- Sebb767 5y agoThis is basically obvious to the point of being a trope in our culture, so I'd argue it's actually not that hard. Sure, it's not perfect or well communicated, but it's not mindreader-level.
- raztogt21 5y agoDo you have a newsletter? You seem knowledgeable.
- akarma 5y agoThat's really kind of you and has made my day! I've been thinking about one but haven't found the time; this definitely nudges me towards that so thank you. If you ever want to chat about something though, feel free to reach me at the email in my profile. Always great to meet new people, especially in these times. :)