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> The problem is eventually she'll be left out if she's the only one of her peers without social media. My thinking here is this: its not necessarily the socia
by TheAdamAndChe 5y ago
> The problem is eventually she'll be left out if she's the only one of her peers without social media.
My thinking here is this: its not necessarily the social communication aspect of social media that's the issue, it's the engagement-driven algorithmic feed that presents the addiction potential. Their feed becomes tuned to whatever gets them hooked, even if it's vapid or harmful. Because of this, I'll still let her text friends and probably use Snapchat or other IM apps. But anything that uses feeds is a hard "no."
It still leaves the potential for bullying, but that potential will always exist.
- andrepd 5y agoI understand that, and believe me I am sympathetic (nothing wrong with texting, but instagram/tiktok/facebook algorithms are probably very harmful for a developing mind). But then the question becomes: how do you intend to stop it? Short of forbidding her from using a phone or computer, how can you stop her/him from using an app behind your back?
- TheAdamAndChe 5y agoSame as anything: tell her not to, teach her why it's important, and tell her that there will be repercussions and a loss of trust if she is caught breaking the rules, then kind of keep an eye on her. A certain level of deviance is normal and expected in children, and she will eventually be caught and punished. My goal as a parent isn't to enforce a way of life with an iron fist, but to guide her and shape the way she lives her life while letting her learn about living it herself. I could install apps that monitor her usage, but I want to give her a sense of autonomy and freedom within a stable environment with clear expectations.
- ryandrake 5y agoFrom another parent, yours seems like a totally reasonable compromise. If someone is going to shun a kid for not being on an app, they're probably not the kid's friend in the first place.