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People buy expensive clothes because it makes others think they have money. By wearing a brand she is mentally leaving the proviety behind. I don't think you

by ipaddr 6y ago

People buy expensive clothes because it makes others think they have money. By wearing a brand she is mentally leaving the proviety behind. I don't think you have mentally left that state of mind. Thinking you need $10,000 in cash and telling everyone on the first date tells them this guy will never save more than 10,000 and he is cheap with his money. Might work for some but perhaps you are putting out a negative signal.

WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago
> I don't think you have mentally left that state of mind. All of those people in 2008 who lost their houses in my neighborhood had the left that state of mind.
offtop5 6y ago
>he is cheap with his money Exactly, anyone I'm with needs to understand the difference between my money and their money. I've had no problem dating plenty of fantastic girls who have their own careers( real life only and I tend to date a few years older ). That's by far my number one priority when meeting someone, have your own life together first. $10,000 was a random number, maybe the pre-marriage emergency fund needs to be $50,000, 100,000 ? In my mind having that money saved up says when life happens, and life will happen you'll be okay.
dec0dedab0de 6y ago
That's a dangerous mindset. I know too many people who can't wait to get into more debt, then complain when they can't afford things. I'm thinking of specific people that have more expensive versions of everything I own, while making less money than me, then saying "it must be nice" when they see me go on vacation or go out to dinner without considering the cost. Plus I think you're being a bit unfair about his first date comment. It seemed like it was more of a quip to explain his position, than an actual plan
jokethrowaway 6y ago
I agree it wouldn't be a good signal for most women early on. I remember, a few months in a relationship, lightly making fun of some of her "cheap" behaviours (which I really appreciated) and her getting very offended. At that point I realised I never communicated I was a massive cheapskate and I asked her if she thought she was more frugal than me. It turns out she thought so! I think I definitely proved I won the frugality contest, but I learnt over time to mask this to appear more interesting and charming. Money is not the only resource that count and that's worthy of optimising for; time and reputation are important as well.

by ipaddr 6y ago

WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago

> I don't think you have mentally left that state of mind. All of those people in 2008 who lost their houses in my neighborhood had the left that state of mind.

offtop5 6y ago

>he is cheap with his money Exactly, anyone I'm with needs to understand the difference between my money and their money. I've had no problem dating plenty of fantastic girls who have their own careers( real life only and I tend to date a few years older ). That's by far my number one priority when meeting someone, have your own life together first. $10,000 was a random number, maybe the pre-marriage emergency fund needs to be $50,000, 100,000 ? In my mind having that money saved up says when life happens, and life will happen you'll be okay.

dec0dedab0de 6y ago

That's a dangerous mindset. I know too many people who can't wait to get into more debt, then complain when they can't afford things. I'm thinking of specific people that have more expensive versions of everything I own, while making less money than me, then saying "it must be nice" when they see me go on vacation or go out to dinner without considering the cost. Plus I think you're being a bit unfair about his first date comment. It seemed like it was more of a quip to explain his position, than an actual plan

jokethrowaway 6y ago

I agree it wouldn't be a good signal for most women early on. I remember, a few months in a relationship, lightly making fun of some of her "cheap" behaviours (which I really appreciated) and her getting very offended. At that point I realised I never communicated I was a massive cheapskate and I asked her if she thought she was more frugal than me. It turns out she thought so! I think I definitely proved I won the frugality contest, but I learnt over time to mask this to appear more interesting and charming. Money is not the only resource that count and that's worthy of optimising for; time and reputation are important as well.