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There are reasons to be fair. If you value your children's wellbeing over your own then there is an argument to stay together (when possible) because generally
by kypro 6y ago
There are reasons to be fair. If you value your children's wellbeing over your own then there is an argument to stay together (when possible) because generally kids raised by both their mother and father will do better for it.
Although to be fair to you this doesn't apply in the case of Bill and Melinda as all their kids are fully grown.
In general though I think people really should try hard to make relationships work. Our culture today seems to down play the importance of long-lasting relationships, but there is so much value in having someone who knows you better than you know yourself and who you can trust to always be there for you no matter what. A lot of people (or at least my friends) in relationships today don't seem to want to put in the effort to get to know someone on that level. Even in relationships they seem to be emotionally alone and empty in a lot of ways. I don't know anything about Bill and Melinda's relationship but they seemed to share a very close connection. Perhaps this is for the best, I don't know the situation, but I do worry neither of them will find that depth of connection again.
- voisin 6y ago> generally kids raised by both their mother and father will do better for it. I think this is a “devil in the details” scenario. If the parents stay together but don’t have any love for each other it is very easy to imagine scenarios where this negatively impacts the child.
- cauliflower99 6y agoIt is a modern fallacy to assume that marriage between two people should be primarily based on their feelings for each other. Feelings fade and so something better must exist in order to base your marriage - and that is the raising of children. So I agree, your point is valid - parents should not argue or fight in front of their children. Each parent is 50% of their child, so the child feels 100% hated in many of these scenarios. But we must not conclude from this that the parents must have warm fuzzy feelings towards each other (ie. the modern day definiton of 'love', which is incorrect but nevertheless...). Sure, it helps sometimes, but such pleasurable moments can only be temporary.
- TheRealDunkirk 6y agoYou can imagine all you'd like, but the statistics here are exceedingly clear.
- voisin 6y agoSource?
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- implements 6y ago> … but I do worry neither of them will find that depth of connection again. I made this point to a divorcing friend - he started dating his first ever girlfriend shortly after.
- StavrosK 6y agoHow was he married without having dated? And what does dating have to do with depth of connection? Haha, I am very confused now.
- jvzr 6y agoI understood it as: he married and divorced someone else, then started dating his first ever love after GP said that. He probably realized the depth of his relation with his first love.
- StavrosK 6y agoHm, that makes sense but it's also a bit of a stretch from the GP's comment, I especially don't understand why the wife doesn't count as a girlfriend.
- vmilner 6y agoShe does - but she wasn't the first. [ First girlfriend = Alice (say). Breaks up with Alice. Dates more girlfriends. Marries one. Divorces. Dates Alice again. ]
- StavrosK 6y agoAhhh okay, so his old first girlfriend. That makes sense, thanks. "Started dating his first girlfriend again" might have been clearer.