No one is saying the choice is "career at all" v "spending time with children". It's "having a crazy busy career" v "spending time with children". It can't be

No one is saying the choice is "career at all" v "spending time with children". It's "having a crazy busy career" v "spending time with children". It can't be any other way. If one is willing to give up everything for X, they are almost certainly going to do better at X compared to equivalent folks who aren't willing to give it up. And, it isn't a choice society makes. Individuals make it, for themselves. Society isn't failing in the sense of having to make choices. Society is failing when it glorifies those to give up everything for X. It's just a choice, and it's usually not glorious.