> Like, if that's how you feel then why did you have kids? This is something I've tried to explain to non-parents many times. One of the fundamental weird asy

> Like, if that's how you feel then why did you have kids? This is something I've tried to explain to non-parents many times. One of the fundamental weird asymmetries of parenting is the negatives are visible and the positives are hidden. Visualize someone cleaning a blown-out diaper with shit everywhere and that's pretty obviously a bad experience. Likewise a toddler screaming in their parents' face in a crowded restaurant. Now visualize a parent looking at their kid while their kid sits there reading a book or sleeps in bed. Boring. But what you don't see is what's going on inside that parent. How incredibly proud they feel to have created a little world around their kid where they feel safe and secure. How amazingly gratifying it is to watch their little one learn skills and grow. Just the immense conduit of love flowing between them. You can't really see it, but it's all there and the parents all know its there. > I see complaining for the sake of complaining as a negative-utility activity. The opposite is true. There is little cause to talk about positive things because they aren't actionable. If you're happy, you don't want to change anything. Talking about negatives is useful because they represent problems that others may be able to help you solve. Consider a code review: you mostly comment on the code that has something wrong with it.