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> Ordinary working people don't spend a ton of quality time with their kids during the week. Quality time was a invention of the in-retrospect rather entitled
by willcipriano 6y ago
> Ordinary working people don't spend a ton of quality time with their kids during the week.
Quality time was a invention of the in-retrospect rather entitled parents of the 1970s who justified their neglect with the idea of "well I don't spend much time with my son but when I do it's quality time!".
The truth is kids, particularly young kids just want time. They want to see you around and have you take a active role in their lives. You can be around and clean the house and cook dinner at the same time, have the child help. Kids would much rather have a parent who sits on the couch to watch TV with them for a half hour every night then one that takes them to Disneyland one Saturday a month.
EDIT - Jerry Seinfeld on the topic:
“I’m a believer in the ordinary and the mundane. These guys that talk about ‘quality time’ — I always find that a little sad when they say, ‘We have quality time.’ I don’t want quality time. I want the garbage time. That’s what I like. You just see them in their room reading a comic book and you get to kind of watch that for a minute, or [having] a bowl of Cheerios at 11 o’clock at night when they’re not even supposed to be up. The garbage, that’s what I love.”
- TchoBeer 6y agoI could just as easily say that quality time is actually a useful metric and as a kid I definitely would've preferred a parent who spends more time with me on the weekends and wasn't "just around". Maybe I could bring a quote from a comedian too. I don't see what any of that would bring to the conversation though.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- r00fus 6y agoResearch has indicated that there is an immersive quality to just "being there". Part of a relationship is rapport - hard to build that when you're only there 2 days of the week - the bonding will go to the actual caregiver. Taking your kid to school / after-school activities allows for bonding as well.
- TchoBeer 6y agoWhat research?
- exolymph 6y agoYou could just as easily say that but it wouldn't be equally plausible.
- TchoBeer 6y agoIt would be equally as sourced, though.
- Pfhreak 6y agoKids of even really young ages are more capable than we give them credit for. A four year old is perfectly capable of helping prep dinner, provided you line up the right tasks. ("Tear up this lettuce, get 5 forks out, ...."). By six years old, a child should easily be comfortable handling more complex tasks like emptying/loading dishes, cutting up ingredients, kneading dough, or measuring out items from a recipe. (Provided they can be loosely measured.) My parents kicked me out of the kitchen when I cooked, and I got really good at playing videogames to pass the time but today I have zero relationship with either parent. Cooking and doing chores with my kid is incredibly rewarding time, and we both seem to get a lot out of it.
- prawn 6y agoIf they're going to have screen time, you can make it a show that they are fully engaged with, but you watch while cooking/cleaning/etc so you can share the experience/discussion with them. My kids got very keen on the survival show Alone which prompts loads of conversations about survival choices, gear, building, the wild environment, etc. And it's not so fast paced that you can't keep up with the season's stories while hanging washing or cooking.