3 ms·

i can call my coworkers boys and girls here, it's not relevant - as long as i dont do that when interacting with them. If you feel offended by use of 'girl' or

i can call my coworkers boys and girls here, it's not relevant - as long as i dont do that when interacting with them. If you feel offended by use of 'girl' or 'boy' in such context then it's your choice, i cant do much about it.

klyrs 5y ago
You can call them that, sure. Do you habitually call any specific man "boy"? Because, whether or not you intend it to be, many women find this specific pattern that you're exhibiting to be patronizing.
- rasputnik6502 5y ago
  Well, if i called my coworker 'girl' in a conversation with her then it would be patronizing and belittling. But when i use 'girl' to refer to a female coworker in an internet discussion, without identifying any person, then how this can be patronizing and to whom? Maybe we should stop using the word 'girlfriend' and say 'womanfriend' instead? And btw what about 'girls in tech' organization? Is it patronizing?
  - klyrs 5y ago
    If nothing else, it highlights, an (at least) unconscious bias on your part. Language matters, and you can work on it. Boyfriend/girlfriend labels are equitable, and that relationship implies a familiarity for which a diminutive is typical and appropriate. Notably, this is not a professional relationship. Girls in tech is about recruiting and supporting female children interested in tech. That's okay, because they're children. Your coworker is an adult, and it behooves you to treat them like one. For example, if she isn't acting like an adult, that's an issue to address in a professional manner, rather than call her a girl behind her back.
    - rasputnik6502 5y ago
      [quote]Girls in tech is about recruiting and supporting female children interested in tech. That's okay, because they're children[/quote] Ok i can swallow being accused of thoughtcrime (at least!), and will punish myself for it, but are you implying 'Girls in tech' is engaging in illegal employment of minors? That's a bold statement.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]

klyrs 5y ago

You can call them that, sure. Do you habitually call any specific man "boy"? Because, whether or not you intend it to be, many women find this specific pattern that you're exhibiting to be patronizing.

rasputnik6502 5y ago
Well, if i called my coworker 'girl' in a conversation with her then it would be patronizing and belittling. But when i use 'girl' to refer to a female coworker in an internet discussion, without identifying any person, then how this can be patronizing and to whom? Maybe we should stop using the word 'girlfriend' and say 'womanfriend' instead? And btw what about 'girls in tech' organization? Is it patronizing?
- klyrs 5y ago
  If nothing else, it highlights, an (at least) unconscious bias on your part. Language matters, and you can work on it. Boyfriend/girlfriend labels are equitable, and that relationship implies a familiarity for which a diminutive is typical and appropriate. Notably, this is not a professional relationship. Girls in tech is about recruiting and supporting female children interested in tech. That's okay, because they're children. Your coworker is an adult, and it behooves you to treat them like one. For example, if she isn't acting like an adult, that's an issue to address in a professional manner, rather than call her a girl behind her back.
  - rasputnik6502 5y ago
    [quote]Girls in tech is about recruiting and supporting female children interested in tech. That's okay, because they're children[/quote] Ok i can swallow being accused of thoughtcrime (at least!), and will punish myself for it, but are you implying 'Girls in tech' is engaging in illegal employment of minors? That's a bold statement.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]