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Men, if you want to know how to help prevent this kind of nonsense, pro tip: > he went on to say that Dick is a bully, and he’s personally wanted to punch Dick

Men, if you want to know how to help prevent this kind of nonsense, pro tip: > he went on to say that Dick is a bully, and he’s personally wanted to punch Dick for years This executive leader tolerated Dick for years, and then instead of getting Dick fired for gross and inappropriate touching, he celebrated a harassed woman on having to physically defend her person inside the workplace. So, men, your mission, should you choose to accept it: Stop tolerating bad men in your professional and personal lives. Call them out. Report them to HR. Tell them their behavior makes you uncomfortable. Stop hanging out with them. Accept the penalty to networking and move on to better people. Otherwise you’re just the enabler that makes it possible for bad men to hurt others without consequences. (Obviously, don’t tolerate bad women either, but from a statistical standpoint, focusing on the men-enabling-men problem will have the widest societal impact for women.)

PicassoCTs 6y ago
But those aholes are sooo useful. A company has a interior and a endoplasmatic reticulum, and while the interior can be a nice place, the parts closer to the skin get continuously more ahole. Which makes it a intersting question if Dick was a ahole to everyone equally. Some people in there have to be the mean guys, stopping cash from hemorrhaging outwards, be the grave digger for eternal projects, who everybody wants to "save" since the founding of the company. Being a Machiavellian brute when it comes to negotiation, with other Machiavellian brutes. A company is like a spaceship in a hostile environment, and you need ass-tronauts to climb out and weld the holes shut, that the universe punches into it. And if you life dangerously, you will want to "measure" up with all other guys, who of course claim "to life dangerously too", but might run on first sign of trouble. Dick might actually regard her much higher for hitting him, than a lot of his colleagues. Very neanderthal, but that is how it is. And then there are sexist aholes, who should be beaten to death with a baseball bat. Like that Thuna guy. Makes me ashamed to be part of the species. Seriously, should be fired, with a public declaration of why, so he never will ever be hired by anyone again.
- rasputnik6502 6y ago
  Too little we know about Dick. Apart from the fact that he touched the hair of his coworker and made some personal remarks. Then when the woman asked him to stop he couldn't, he couldn't just apologize and stop because this would mean he did something wrong. So he did it again pretending it's just a fun joke. I dont know, i'm not a woman. I dont even know how to handle some strange situations at work. But what Dick did reminds me of kids behavior -they do something annoying, for example kick the chair, and when asked to stop they will pretend they dont understand, kick one or two more times and laugh - just to check if the situation can be transformed into harmless/no consequence and they can get out without having to admit wrongdoing. Sometimes it's a sociopath targeting a victim while pretending it's a harmless friendly joke, but quite often its just a big child..
  - floatingatoll 6y ago
    > when the women asked him to stop he couldn't As a functioning human adult, "wouldn't" is the correct word here. It may seem like a small matter, but it's not: saying "couldn't" is a very popular way to represent the idea that men aren't responsible for behavior that others find unacceptable, especially when it's towards women. Please take more care around your phrasing in the future. > apart from the fact that he touched the hair of his coworker "apart from" trivializes and sets aside the most important thing we know about Dick: that he touches women without their consent and refuses to honor their requests to stop. There is no "apart from" that weakens, mitigates, or excuses this. > just to check if the situation can be transformed into harmless/no consequence and they can get out without having to admit wrongdoing Men who behave in this way are fully expecting other men to let them get away with it. They are right, statistically speaking. Men, don't silently let them get away with it. It may feel uncomfortable to try to hold a man accountable for their actions. Bad men thrive on how reliably that discomfort makes other men stay silent. They're depending on you being too socially weak and inept to overcome that. I know it can be difficult, and you won't succeed every time, but it's important that you try every time all the same. Best of luck.
    - rasputnik6502 6y ago
machello13 6y ago
> focusing on the men-enabling-men problem will have the widest societal impact for women Eh, are you sure? I’ve never read an exposition of a dysfunctional abusive company that wasn’t full of women in powerful positions also enabling terrible behavior.
- floatingatoll 6y ago
  “It’s snowing, clearly global warming isn’t real.” California recently passed a law requiring a minimum diversity threshold for corporate boards, due to how few incorporated more than a single token non-man. I look forward to arriving at a society where men and women are, as you suggest, equally present in and complicit in executive leadership and failures thereof, but we certainly aren’t there yet. It’s also worth noting that my request is directed to all men, rather than not-all men. You can take steps to stop bad men without being an executive.
  - machello13 6y ago
    > You can take steps to stop bad men without being an executive. You just spent the previous sentences explaining how women couldn’t possibly be complicit because they’re not on boards. But now anyone can be complicit?
    - floatingatoll 6y ago
      Women can absolutely be complicit, so I clearly misspoke. I apologize for my error.
      - machello13 6y ago
        Fair enough. Otherwise I think we're on the same page.

PicassoCTs 6y ago

But those aholes are sooo useful. A company has a interior and a endoplasmatic reticulum, and while the interior can be a nice place, the parts closer to the skin get continuously more ahole. Which makes it a intersting question if Dick was a ahole to everyone equally. Some people in there have to be the mean guys, stopping cash from hemorrhaging outwards, be the grave digger for eternal projects, who everybody wants to "save" since the founding of the company. Being a Machiavellian brute when it comes to negotiation, with other Machiavellian brutes. A company is like a spaceship in a hostile environment, and you need ass-tronauts to climb out and weld the holes shut, that the universe punches into it. And if you life dangerously, you will want to "measure" up with all other guys, who of course claim "to life dangerously too", but might run on first sign of trouble. Dick might actually regard her much higher for hitting him, than a lot of his colleagues. Very neanderthal, but that is how it is. And then there are sexist aholes, who should be beaten to death with a baseball bat. Like that Thuna guy. Makes me ashamed to be part of the species. Seriously, should be fired, with a public declaration of why, so he never will ever be hired by anyone again.

rasputnik6502 6y ago
Too little we know about Dick. Apart from the fact that he touched the hair of his coworker and made some personal remarks. Then when the woman asked him to stop he couldn't, he couldn't just apologize and stop because this would mean he did something wrong. So he did it again pretending it's just a fun joke. I dont know, i'm not a woman. I dont even know how to handle some strange situations at work. But what Dick did reminds me of kids behavior -they do something annoying, for example kick the chair, and when asked to stop they will pretend they dont understand, kick one or two more times and laugh - just to check if the situation can be transformed into harmless/no consequence and they can get out without having to admit wrongdoing. Sometimes it's a sociopath targeting a victim while pretending it's a harmless friendly joke, but quite often its just a big child..
- floatingatoll 6y ago
  > when the women asked him to stop he couldn't As a functioning human adult, "wouldn't" is the correct word here. It may seem like a small matter, but it's not: saying "couldn't" is a very popular way to represent the idea that men aren't responsible for behavior that others find unacceptable, especially when it's towards women. Please take more care around your phrasing in the future. > apart from the fact that he touched the hair of his coworker "apart from" trivializes and sets aside the most important thing we know about Dick: that he touches women without their consent and refuses to honor their requests to stop. There is no "apart from" that weakens, mitigates, or excuses this. > just to check if the situation can be transformed into harmless/no consequence and they can get out without having to admit wrongdoing Men who behave in this way are fully expecting other men to let them get away with it. They are right, statistically speaking. Men, don't silently let them get away with it. It may feel uncomfortable to try to hold a man accountable for their actions. Bad men thrive on how reliably that discomfort makes other men stay silent. They're depending on you being too socially weak and inept to overcome that. I know it can be difficult, and you won't succeed every time, but it's important that you try every time all the same. Best of luck.
  - rasputnik6502 6y ago

machello13 6y ago

> focusing on the men-enabling-men problem will have the widest societal impact for women Eh, are you sure? I’ve never read an exposition of a dysfunctional abusive company that wasn’t full of women in powerful positions also enabling terrible behavior.

floatingatoll 6y ago
“It’s snowing, clearly global warming isn’t real.” California recently passed a law requiring a minimum diversity threshold for corporate boards, due to how few incorporated more than a single token non-man. I look forward to arriving at a society where men and women are, as you suggest, equally present in and complicit in executive leadership and failures thereof, but we certainly aren’t there yet. It’s also worth noting that my request is directed to all men, rather than not-all men. You can take steps to stop bad men without being an executive.
- machello13 6y ago
  > You can take steps to stop bad men without being an executive. You just spent the previous sentences explaining how women couldn’t possibly be complicit because they’re not on boards. But now anyone can be complicit?
  - floatingatoll 6y ago
    Women can absolutely be complicit, so I clearly misspoke. I apologize for my error.
    - machello13 6y ago
      Fair enough. Otherwise I think we're on the same page.