I didn't plan on having kids. My wife had 3 teenage kids when we met, and didn't plan for more. Then circumstance intervened. A family member needed adopting, a

I didn't plan on having kids. My wife had 3 teenage kids when we met, and didn't plan for more. Then circumstance intervened. A family member needed adopting, and we were the clear first choice. We got him at 13 months when he was released from medical foster care. It's been eye-opening. My best analysis is that humans are terrible at long-term planning: hence our (at least American) level of personal retirement planning. And children never "pay off". If you expect gratefulness, you are likely to be dissapointed. So nature doesn't leave it to that. Instead it pushes some powerful, deep-seated buttons in our psyche. Hard. I was shocked to realize on day, after about 6 months, I would kill and die for my son, and looking around realizing most parents out there feel the same. It's this weird, unspoken understanding in our society. And some scary, intense anger at his birth mom. Nature doesn't leave this to chance, instead, it hard-codes the stuff essential to survival. For a small percentage of people, this button-pushing never happens, and they wonder what the Hell is wrong with them. To them I say, Nothing is wrong with you.