5 ms·

You're advocating for a middle ground that doesn't exist. As a racially ambiguous guy, most people are professional, but I pick up occasional comments and the

You're advocating for a middle ground that doesn't exist. As a racially ambiguous guy, most people are professional, but I pick up occasional comments and the way people act when you try to show them a better way or correct them really shines a light on this issue.

Baeocystin 5y ago
The middle ground is that most people are, in fact, professional. It is literally impossible to actually like everyone you meet, but if you can at least maintain a professional relationship, that's fine- that's all that is required. This is what actual tolerance looks like in action!
- sgift 5y ago
  > The middle ground is that most people are, in fact, professional. You say that is the case. People affected by it say it isn't (and have examples). Who to believe ...
  - Baeocystin 5y ago
    If you're looking to compared 'lived experience', I literally grew up a visible minority in SE Asia, and have been a foreigner compared to the dominant group at work for most of my adult life. Were there people that didn't like me because I wasn't like them? Sure. They weren't the majority, most people are just fine no matter where you go in the world, and I'm doing fine myself. Learning to come to grips that you aren't going to like everyone (and that it is mutual) is a large part of the lessons of becoming an adult. Learning to appreciate the fact that most people genuinely are able to treat you professionally at work regardless, no matter what the social media crowds say, is just as important.
podric 5y ago
It may not be true in your experience but it does exist. I've worked in several diverse offices in the US where it's exactly like that. Race/sexual orientation hardly ever comes up as a political topic and colleagues are generally friendly with one another (with a significant number of queer and POC colleagues)
- pnutjam 5y ago
  Maybe this is true in a minority of workplaces, but almost every person reading this can think of a coworker who cracked a sexist or rascist joke. That doesn't count the plurality is people smart enough to keep it to themselves and just let it influence your ability advance.
  - podric 5y ago
    I think that you'll be able to find the work environment I described in most major metropolitan areas in the US. It might be harder to come by in smaller metropolitan areas or rural areas.
    - pnutjam 5y ago
      Sure, and those workers have it great. What about all the other people who have to put up with the other work environments? EDIT Also, it is very difficult to suss out this type of before being hired. Most people at least pretend to be professional until they get comfortable.

Baeocystin 5y ago

The middle ground is that most people are, in fact, professional. It is literally impossible to actually like everyone you meet, but if you can at least maintain a professional relationship, that's fine- that's all that is required. This is what actual tolerance looks like in action!

sgift 5y ago
> The middle ground is that most people are, in fact, professional. You say that is the case. People affected by it say it isn't (and have examples). Who to believe ...
- Baeocystin 5y ago
  If you're looking to compared 'lived experience', I literally grew up a visible minority in SE Asia, and have been a foreigner compared to the dominant group at work for most of my adult life. Were there people that didn't like me because I wasn't like them? Sure. They weren't the majority, most people are just fine no matter where you go in the world, and I'm doing fine myself. Learning to come to grips that you aren't going to like everyone (and that it is mutual) is a large part of the lessons of becoming an adult. Learning to appreciate the fact that most people genuinely are able to treat you professionally at work regardless, no matter what the social media crowds say, is just as important.

podric 5y ago

It may not be true in your experience but it does exist. I've worked in several diverse offices in the US where it's exactly like that. Race/sexual orientation hardly ever comes up as a political topic and colleagues are generally friendly with one another (with a significant number of queer and POC colleagues)

pnutjam 5y ago
Maybe this is true in a minority of workplaces, but almost every person reading this can think of a coworker who cracked a sexist or rascist joke. That doesn't count the plurality is people smart enough to keep it to themselves and just let it influence your ability advance.
- podric 5y ago
  I think that you'll be able to find the work environment I described in most major metropolitan areas in the US. It might be harder to come by in smaller metropolitan areas or rural areas.
  - pnutjam 5y ago
    Sure, and those workers have it great. What about all the other people who have to put up with the other work environments? EDIT Also, it is very difficult to suss out this type of before being hired. Most people at least pretend to be professional until they get comfortable.