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> This lady seems to have her head screwed on. I don't agree. She did not set her boundaries. She did not effectively communicate boundaries. She did not enfo

> This lady seems to have her head screwed on. I don't agree. She did not set her boundaries. She did not effectively communicate boundaries. She did not enforce boundaries. When she doesn't get the outcome she wants, she turns to blame rather than introspection.

quickthrowman 5y ago
Implicit in your post is the idea “Power is equal in every relationship” which is obviously false. This is clear cut victim blaming.
- suifbwish 5y ago
  Unfortunately without proof, we are often unable to determine who the victim is. It’s perfectly possible either way.
- grammarnazzzi 5y ago
  I'm not blaming her. I'm ignorant of any facts. I'm just saying she doesn't seem to have her head screwed on quite as tight as Accacin suggests. Accacin suggests that sharing a plausible story is proof of wrongdoing. I don't think so. I'm ignorant. Accacin is ignorant. Everybody on this thread is ignorant of the facts. I'm saying that Jon Pretty shouldn't have his livelihood and career destroyed by ignorant people and an accuser who admits to having her own set of issues.
  - Accacin 5y ago
    I'm not a jury, I do not require any proof. I'm not asking for the guy in question to be arrested or anything else. The story has come out, now it's a matter for the relevant authorities. I'm merely saying that I believe what she's saying, and as I've not got the power to arrest, it's perfectly okay for me not to require more proof than a general feeling of her honesty.
Accacin 5y ago
The default boundary should be "I do not want to have sex with you". It's even more important when one person is in a position of power and when there's an inherent element of trust (teacher, mentor, etc.) because it's going to be much more complicated for a person to set appropriate boundaries and feel like they can say no to them. This is someone they looked up to and respected!

quickthrowman 5y ago

Implicit in your post is the idea “Power is equal in every relationship” which is obviously false. This is clear cut victim blaming.

suifbwish 5y ago
Unfortunately without proof, we are often unable to determine who the victim is. It’s perfectly possible either way.
grammarnazzzi 5y ago
I'm not blaming her. I'm ignorant of any facts. I'm just saying she doesn't seem to have her head screwed on quite as tight as Accacin suggests. Accacin suggests that sharing a plausible story is proof of wrongdoing. I don't think so. I'm ignorant. Accacin is ignorant. Everybody on this thread is ignorant of the facts. I'm saying that Jon Pretty shouldn't have his livelihood and career destroyed by ignorant people and an accuser who admits to having her own set of issues.
- Accacin 5y ago
  I'm not a jury, I do not require any proof. I'm not asking for the guy in question to be arrested or anything else. The story has come out, now it's a matter for the relevant authorities. I'm merely saying that I believe what she's saying, and as I've not got the power to arrest, it's perfectly okay for me not to require more proof than a general feeling of her honesty.

Accacin 5y ago

The default boundary should be "I do not want to have sex with you". It's even more important when one person is in a position of power and when there's an inherent element of trust (teacher, mentor, etc.) because it's going to be much more complicated for a person to set appropriate boundaries and feel like they can say no to them. This is someone they looked up to and respected!