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It creates a power imbalance, or increases the power imbalance that already existed between the two. If you have a boss/employee relationship, or a mentor/ment
by Pfhreak 5y ago
It creates a power imbalance, or increases the power imbalance that already existed between the two.
If you have a boss/employee relationship, or a mentor/mentee relationship, or a professor/student relationship, you need to tread extra carefully around consent. One party in those relationships holds incredible power over the other, and can coerce the weaker party into things they may not be comfortable doing.
Likewise, enabling someone to attend a conference they would not otherwise be able to financially afford creates a possibility of coercion . It's not always coercive, but it needs to be handled delicately and appropriately. In the author's situation, if she refused, there was a chance she was thrown out onto the streets of Berlin at who knows what hour, with no money/luggage, and maybe no ability to speak the local language.
- noobermin 5y agoI don't agree. The crime here seems to be rape and the use of power to extract sex from another. That's the problem. I don't see how sharing an AirBnB is by itself a problem. In light of everything else, it fits a pattern of manipulation, but it by itself isn't harmful.
- Pfhreak 5y agoShe would not otherwise have been able to attend. She is able to attend specifically because of his "generosity". This wasn't something she proposed, and when she tried to bring others into the arrangement he pushed back, insisting it was just the two of them. So yeah, sharing an AirBNB isn't necessarily bad, but in this case specifically it appears to be predatory.
- noobermin 5y agoOh, my bad. I missed that part. I didn't know he pushed back on others sharing. That's clearly to get them alone. Thanks.
- hamburglar 5y agoI agree that by itself it wouldn’t necessarily be a “problem” but even so, it would strike a lot of people as pushing the boundaries of appropriateness.
- Pfhreak 5y agoTotally agree with you, just didn't want to take a hard-line stance that it was 100% problematic always.
- hamburglar 5y agoAnd pushing this boundary doesn’t help your case any if you do end up sleeping with them.