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> And I really don't understand why your sexual preferences should be known to/by your coworkers either. Well, to be fair - when I say “my husband” that doesn’

> And I really don't understand why your sexual preferences should be known to/by your coworkers either. Well, to be fair - when I say “my husband” that doesn’t talk about sexual preferences any more than saying “my wife.” I don’t see how that’s talking about sex, do you?

analogdreams 5y ago
In conjunction with knowing your gender, I believe it does, or at least provides a very strong suggestion. The point is neither should matter, and I would argue, neither should be known, in the workplace.
- drewbug01 5y ago
  I mean, anonymous handles and no in-person (or zoom) chat might make that sorta possible, but you can’t get around the problem. The real issue is that this is only a problem in one direction: nobody complains when someone says “my wife,” and some people definitely complain when someone says “my husband”. It definitely gets made about sex, and gay sex specifically, by the people making the complaint. They’re the ones making it about sex and not leaving it alone as a conversation about one’s spouse.
  - analogdreams 5y ago
    Which is why it should all be avoided in the workplace. This is not a debate about the merits of gay or straight sexual orientation. My coworkers have no need to know if I am in a relationship, have children, etc. If they ask I will (and do) tell them I am not interested in having that conversation and I will never ask them or engage further if they bring their partner/spouse/children up. I'm there to do a job and leave as quickly as possible upon completing the days work. Everything else, in my opinion, is a distraction hampering that goal.
    - drewbug01 5y ago
      That's a principled and consistent stand, which I applaud you for maintaining. But I don't think that majority of the working world would take such a hard-line stance against sharing any details of their personal lives. So - we have to deal with the world we have, which is "many, if not most, workers share some degree of personal information about their lives in the workplace." That's the reality we have to deal with.

analogdreams 5y ago

In conjunction with knowing your gender, I believe it does, or at least provides a very strong suggestion. The point is neither should matter, and I would argue, neither should be known, in the workplace.

drewbug01 5y ago
I mean, anonymous handles and no in-person (or zoom) chat might make that sorta possible, but you can’t get around the problem. The real issue is that this is only a problem in one direction: nobody complains when someone says “my wife,” and some people definitely complain when someone says “my husband”. It definitely gets made about sex, and gay sex specifically, by the people making the complaint. They’re the ones making it about sex and not leaving it alone as a conversation about one’s spouse.
- analogdreams 5y ago
  Which is why it should all be avoided in the workplace. This is not a debate about the merits of gay or straight sexual orientation. My coworkers have no need to know if I am in a relationship, have children, etc. If they ask I will (and do) tell them I am not interested in having that conversation and I will never ask them or engage further if they bring their partner/spouse/children up. I'm there to do a job and leave as quickly as possible upon completing the days work. Everything else, in my opinion, is a distraction hampering that goal.
  - drewbug01 5y ago
    That's a principled and consistent stand, which I applaud you for maintaining. But I don't think that majority of the working world would take such a hard-line stance against sharing any details of their personal lives. So - we have to deal with the world we have, which is "many, if not most, workers share some degree of personal information about their lives in the workplace." That's the reality we have to deal with.