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It's ok, although I have a tendency to wear myself out mentally when I take stimulant meds. Certain kinds of programming have a very high activation energy. In
by titanomachy 6y ago
It's ok, although I have a tendency to wear myself out mentally when I take stimulant meds.
Certain kinds of programming have a very high activation energy. In each programming session, it can take a lot of time (sometimes hours) before I've gathered enough context to start making progress on a problem. Once I start making progress my motivation is usually self-sustaining. Sometimes I can't focus long enough to get to that point, and in that case the stimulants do help.
However, I also become very reluctant to take breaks and lose the context I've built up, so I often end up working quite late. I feel exhausted and sort of disoriented sometimes after these sessions. I can't do days like that too often without sacrificing health, relationships, etc.
In 2020, meds didn't help me at all. I just ended up being really focused on some useless distraction or cleaning my house or whatever. My problem was more fundamental than "I can't focus long enough to build up self-sustaining momentum."
What don't you like about programming on meds?
- autora 6y agoI've been a programmer for 20 years and you just described my daily struggle with my job so precisely. Is this kind of experience happening to neuro-typical people or is this a very ADHD thing? I ask because I have often wondered if I am undiagnosed as something or other and this post hit me hard.
- j4yav 6y agoIt is common with tasks requiring deep focus also in people without ADHD.
- tgaj 6y agoI think for neurotypical people it is easier to create some kind of system/framework for being more efficient in work. Every solved problem add some mental tools to this systems. But it is much harder for ADHD because of how our brain works. Working step-by-step is hard for me. It is easier for me to load as much info to my brain RAM and try to digest it. And it is not something that you can get better in because it's not really a systematic method.
- titanomachy 6y agoI've seen coworkers that I'd describe as neuro-typical work in a similar way sometimes. But the tendency to alternate between periods of difficulty focusing and periods of hyperfocus is a recognized trait of ADHD. If you're interested in learning more I'd recommend Hallowell's book, the one I read was "Delivered from Distraction" but he might have a newer one. Just read the first couple chapters and if it resonates a lot then it might be worth getting tested.
- flir 6y agoThanks, I resemble all those statements, and I've often wondered if I'm undiagnosed ADHD. My occasional brushes with modafinil... well, sometimes it works, and sometimes it turns me into the best damn house cleaner on the planet. In my brief experience of SSRI drugs, they left me fuzzy and unable to concentrate. Like baby brain without the baby.
- pa7ch 6y agoJust wanna say I relate strongly to these posts. Sometimes it just feels like i'm trying everything to manage my motivation and adhd and it just doesn't work and I just gotta breath get outside and be unproductive for awhile.
- titanomachy 6y agoI hear you. If you otherwise like your job and the people you work with, then I think it's good to just accept that some days you won't get work done and that's ok. If you feel that way all the time, maybe it's time to find work that you care about more.