May be you want things that are not possible anymore ? I mean you have a balanced life. You are 30. perhaps your heart is telling you that it is ok to just code

May be you want things that are not possible anymore ? I mean you have a balanced life. You are 30. perhaps your heart is telling you that it is ok to just code for a living even if you don't enjoy it as much as you used to when you were 11-12 ? May be you just need to find ways to do other things more and enjoying finer things in life that your good balanced life may provide ? I thought to share a totally different answer here.