3 ms·

I would argue at this point in collective awareness of public communications, using a form of "sorry if I did any harm" regardless of specific words used is an

by kfarr 6y ago

I would argue at this point in collective awareness of public communications, using a form of "sorry if I did any harm" regardless of specific words used is an explicit decision by the writer to not accept full culpability. I agree with original comment, when you see a weasel apology introduction, reading the rest is of little value.

BeetleB 6y ago
> I would argue at this point in collective awareness of public communications, using a form of "sorry if I did any harm" regardless of specific words used is an explicit decision by the writer to not accept full culpability. Based on my experience with the general public, with academics, and with industry folks, the criteria for what constitutes a sincere apology is not known by the majority. Furthermore, many of those who have heard the criteria do not accept it as a gold standard, and disagree with it (even those who are not being looked to for an apology). The recipient can always choose to accept or not an apology. However, I find it quite distasteful to attribute intentions to someone simply because they did not follow a recipe (even if the choice not to was intentional).
- luckylion 6y ago
  I find it nicely clear in German. If you wrong someone, you're loading guilt unto yourself ("mit Schuld beladen"). You'll then ask to be forgiven ("um Entschuldigung bitten" is "asking to be relieved of the guilt"), and the other party can lift the guilt ("entschuldigen"). You can also say "ich entschuldige mich", which skips that step and is essentially "I absolve myself". While it's common in colloquial German to use the one-step-absolution and skip over the possibility of the other party not absolving you, it's also often considered rude when it matters and has a taste of "but not really". It's fine when you accidentally stepped on someone's foot, but not so much when you've stolen their car.
- posixplz 6y ago
  “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” is a very different statement from, “I am sorry I hurt you.” One makes responsibility conditional, and the other takes responsibility.

by kfarr 6y ago

BeetleB 6y ago

> I would argue at this point in collective awareness of public communications, using a form of "sorry if I did any harm" regardless of specific words used is an explicit decision by the writer to not accept full culpability. Based on my experience with the general public, with academics, and with industry folks, the criteria for what constitutes a sincere apology is not known by the majority. Furthermore, many of those who have heard the criteria do not accept it as a gold standard, and disagree with it (even those who are not being looked to for an apology). The recipient can always choose to accept or not an apology. However, I find it quite distasteful to attribute intentions to someone simply because they did not follow a recipe (even if the choice not to was intentional).

luckylion 6y ago
I find it nicely clear in German. If you wrong someone, you're loading guilt unto yourself ("mit Schuld beladen"). You'll then ask to be forgiven ("um Entschuldigung bitten" is "asking to be relieved of the guilt"), and the other party can lift the guilt ("entschuldigen"). You can also say "ich entschuldige mich", which skips that step and is essentially "I absolve myself". While it's common in colloquial German to use the one-step-absolution and skip over the possibility of the other party not absolving you, it's also often considered rude when it matters and has a taste of "but not really". It's fine when you accidentally stepped on someone's foot, but not so much when you've stolen their car.
posixplz 6y ago
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” is a very different statement from, “I am sorry I hurt you.” One makes responsibility conditional, and the other takes responsibility.