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> What I don't see is that people join the institution with that market as an intention. Perhaps that happens because society would judge people to be creepy i

> What I don't see is that people join the institution with that market as an intention. Perhaps that happens because society would judge people to be creepy if they did that. Imagine you were a man and you announced to the world that you joined a yoga class not for yoga but for finding a girlfriend. The vibe that you broadcast would probably backfire on you. I'm experimenting on adding dating/marriage market to the institutions like educational institutions, work, sports clubs, and so on. I'm working on SwanLove (https://swan.love https://swan.love). Right now, it's just an ordinary centralized dating website. But I plan to build a decentralized dating app (without crypto). It's akin to GitLab or WordPress. Say, you own a gym. You can host my dating app yourself (https://yourgym/dating https://yourgym/dating) or on my site (https://swanlove/yourgym https://swanlove/yourgym). Then anyone who wants to join your dating app must have your gym membership. This way, a man in your gym who is attracted to a woman can send his like in your dating app. A woman can ignore or receive the romance invitation. Without this dating app, a man has to approach a woman in your gym. That, to some extent, can make a woman uncomfortable. You read some complaints from women about unwanted advances from men in gym. You would say that hitting on women is not appropriate in gym. So which places are okay to hit on women? My female friend told me that it's okay to hit on her in yoga classes. But what about tennis club, salsa club, workplaces? This is why I'm experimenting with this decentralized dating app. I know, I know, to some extent, this dating app can kill spontaneity.

szej 5y ago
Why would women who to the gym to exercise opt in to have their gym account made into a profile for an internal dating app?
- langitbiru 5y ago
  Maybe they are single and want to find romantic partners. Some women like to find partners who share common interests. Imagine you like to cycle and you like to find a romantic partner who also like to cycle. Wouldn't that be great?
  - sopp 5y ago
    This kind of makes sense, however I would wonder if that will make an incentive for creeps to get a membership just to approach women through the internal dating app.
    - langitbiru 5y ago
      That already happened, no? Some men pretend to care about yoga and veganism just to approach women. You can see some memes about this phenomenon. In this context, I assume the definition of a creep is someone who joins a group or an activity just to approach people romantically/sexually. The problem is.... where should a man find a romantic partner without being a creep? By that definition, if he wants to join salsa class to find a girlfriend, he is already a creep. The only appropriate place to find a girlfriend without being a creep is on Tinder or Bumblebee which have a slew of problems. You heard someone giving advice that online dating is disaster and a man should find a girlfriend in social settings, like.... yoga class, salsa class. So I try to mitigate this problem by building this dating app.
- literallycancer 5y ago
  Pre filter for physical fitness?
guerrilla 5y ago
As someone currently heavily using dating apps, your idea sounds interesting. I don't really get the "movies / TV series preferences" thing though, I wouldn't really want to chose someone based on that but maybe that's just me. Whatever you do, if you succeed, I beg you please never sell out to Match Group (who own Tinder, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Hinge, PlentyOfFish, Ship, and OurTime.)
- langitbiru 5y ago
  > I don't really get the "movies / TV series preferences" Basically, I'm experimenting with my dating app. I built the dating app with the premise on some people want to find dates in Linkedin. So I give them space in SwanLove. Then I'm thinking of adding other social medias to it. So you can find dates in GitHub, Twitter, Strava, Chess.com, etc. In a nutshell, SwanLove adds dating to any social medias. Then some people tweeted about creating a dating app based on movies preferences. So I added that to my dating app as well. I'm throwing many darts and see which ones are stuck. > I beg you please never sell out to Match Group So a couple of days ago, some people in HN criticized me on creating this centralized dating app. It would become a honeypot for hackers. So that gave me an idea to build a decentralized dating app (like GitLab or WordPress). Yes, I'll do my utmost not to sell out to them.
  - SunlightEdge 5y ago
    Swanlove is a cool website. Has there been much response from linkedin users? I'd have thought that men and women might want to steer clear of mixing business and dating.
    - langitbiru 5y ago
      Thank you. Less than 1000 registered users are on SwanLove. Basically, I'm dealing with marketplace problem (chicked and egg problem). Yeah, a lot of people told me that dating for Linkedin is stupid. :) But it's just beginning. I want to add dating to other online places like Strava, GitHub, Twitter, Chess.com, and so on. The idea is you may find someone you like on Chess.com and you want to convey your interest to them but you're afraid being "punished" because Chess.com is not for dating. You can replace Chess.com with Strava, GitHub, or other social medias. You can see how many women complaint about getting unwanted advances in Twitter. So I just want to separate people who want to date into a group with SwanLove.
fouc 5y ago
I like the core concept of a "missing connections" type of thing where people can reveal interest LATER and then it's either reciprocated or ignored. Even more interesting would be to only reveal interest if both people are interested..
- langitbiru 5y ago
  Yes, I already support that. You can "like" people publicly or secretly. The thing you talk about is "liking secretly". If both people like each other secretly, the interest would be revealed to them.
coldtea 5y ago
>You would say that hitting on women is not appropriate in gym. So which places are okay to hit on women? My female friend told me that it's okay to hit on her in yoga classes. Well, she said that, some other woman might say otherwise. In general, this is mostly a charade. Being accepted is mostly about being the right person and having the right timing, not about whether space X or Y is appropriate or not. People have hooked up succesfully in every kind of place, including work (heck, especially there), hospitals, and funerals.
- langitbiru 5y ago
  I get you. But the climate has shifted. "Unwelcome advances" can be different things to women. How do you know for woman A the "unwelcome advances" means this thing but for woman B it means other things. Lemme ask you. Asking a phone number from a woman is acceptable or not in a gym? It depends on whom you ask. Some women think that gym is strictly for working out. Other women are more open to this kind of approach. Not every man has high EQ, can read the room and women's body language. Not every man is social savvy. When building this dating app, I'm thinking of a group of men which are not so good approaching women. Getting courage to approach women is already exhausting. But it's not enough. You have to know which women are open to dating.
  - jokethrowaway 5y ago
    This idea that unwelcome advances is harassment is ridiculous (not saying that's what you're saying in your comment, just what I've heard countless times in discussions). Asking for a phone number is ok at almost any time. If you ask me mid workout I'll be annoyed though and likely react negatively. If you ask me and I'm engaged / not looking, it will be annoying. Some women train in women only gym for this reason. I still think it's ok to ask in a polite way. Just don't ask in a situation where the receiver may feel threatened (eg. Alone in a dark alley) and react out of fear.
jokethrowaway 5y ago
There were apps like this among Facebook friends, I don't think something like this would pickup because you need to know about the app. Women are showered with people approaching them so they don't feel the need to register - or they register to something more on-point (see tinder, bumble). That said, women may be in the situation where they like someone and that someone is blind/shy to make the first move (men rarely imagine being the recipient of female attention). I would focus with something where women-only can send a flirt and men can register with the hope of getting one from someone they know. Best of luck
- langitbiru 5y ago
  > women-only can send a flirt So something similar to Bumblebee. Thanks for the feedback.

szej 5y ago

Why would women who to the gym to exercise opt in to have their gym account made into a profile for an internal dating app?

langitbiru 5y ago
Maybe they are single and want to find romantic partners. Some women like to find partners who share common interests. Imagine you like to cycle and you like to find a romantic partner who also like to cycle. Wouldn't that be great?
- sopp 5y ago
  This kind of makes sense, however I would wonder if that will make an incentive for creeps to get a membership just to approach women through the internal dating app.
  - langitbiru 5y ago
    That already happened, no? Some men pretend to care about yoga and veganism just to approach women. You can see some memes about this phenomenon. In this context, I assume the definition of a creep is someone who joins a group or an activity just to approach people romantically/sexually. The problem is.... where should a man find a romantic partner without being a creep? By that definition, if he wants to join salsa class to find a girlfriend, he is already a creep. The only appropriate place to find a girlfriend without being a creep is on Tinder or Bumblebee which have a slew of problems. You heard someone giving advice that online dating is disaster and a man should find a girlfriend in social settings, like.... yoga class, salsa class. So I try to mitigate this problem by building this dating app.
literallycancer 5y ago
Pre filter for physical fitness?

guerrilla 5y ago

As someone currently heavily using dating apps, your idea sounds interesting. I don't really get the "movies / TV series preferences" thing though, I wouldn't really want to chose someone based on that but maybe that's just me. Whatever you do, if you succeed, I beg you please never sell out to Match Group (who own Tinder, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Hinge, PlentyOfFish, Ship, and OurTime.)

langitbiru 5y ago
> I don't really get the "movies / TV series preferences" Basically, I'm experimenting with my dating app. I built the dating app with the premise on some people want to find dates in Linkedin. So I give them space in SwanLove. Then I'm thinking of adding other social medias to it. So you can find dates in GitHub, Twitter, Strava, Chess.com, etc. In a nutshell, SwanLove adds dating to any social medias. Then some people tweeted about creating a dating app based on movies preferences. So I added that to my dating app as well. I'm throwing many darts and see which ones are stuck. > I beg you please never sell out to Match Group So a couple of days ago, some people in HN criticized me on creating this centralized dating app. It would become a honeypot for hackers. So that gave me an idea to build a decentralized dating app (like GitLab or WordPress). Yes, I'll do my utmost not to sell out to them.
- SunlightEdge 5y ago
  Swanlove is a cool website. Has there been much response from linkedin users? I'd have thought that men and women might want to steer clear of mixing business and dating.
  - langitbiru 5y ago
    Thank you. Less than 1000 registered users are on SwanLove. Basically, I'm dealing with marketplace problem (chicked and egg problem). Yeah, a lot of people told me that dating for Linkedin is stupid. :) But it's just beginning. I want to add dating to other online places like Strava, GitHub, Twitter, Chess.com, and so on. The idea is you may find someone you like on Chess.com and you want to convey your interest to them but you're afraid being "punished" because Chess.com is not for dating. You can replace Chess.com with Strava, GitHub, or other social medias. You can see how many women complaint about getting unwanted advances in Twitter. So I just want to separate people who want to date into a group with SwanLove.

fouc 5y ago

I like the core concept of a "missing connections" type of thing where people can reveal interest LATER and then it's either reciprocated or ignored. Even more interesting would be to only reveal interest if both people are interested..

langitbiru 5y ago
Yes, I already support that. You can "like" people publicly or secretly. The thing you talk about is "liking secretly". If both people like each other secretly, the interest would be revealed to them.

coldtea 5y ago

>You would say that hitting on women is not appropriate in gym. So which places are okay to hit on women? My female friend told me that it's okay to hit on her in yoga classes. Well, she said that, some other woman might say otherwise. In general, this is mostly a charade. Being accepted is mostly about being the right person and having the right timing, not about whether space X or Y is appropriate or not. People have hooked up succesfully in every kind of place, including work (heck, especially there), hospitals, and funerals.

langitbiru 5y ago
I get you. But the climate has shifted. "Unwelcome advances" can be different things to women. How do you know for woman A the "unwelcome advances" means this thing but for woman B it means other things. Lemme ask you. Asking a phone number from a woman is acceptable or not in a gym? It depends on whom you ask. Some women think that gym is strictly for working out. Other women are more open to this kind of approach. Not every man has high EQ, can read the room and women's body language. Not every man is social savvy. When building this dating app, I'm thinking of a group of men which are not so good approaching women. Getting courage to approach women is already exhausting. But it's not enough. You have to know which women are open to dating.
- jokethrowaway 5y ago
  This idea that unwelcome advances is harassment is ridiculous (not saying that's what you're saying in your comment, just what I've heard countless times in discussions). Asking for a phone number is ok at almost any time. If you ask me mid workout I'll be annoyed though and likely react negatively. If you ask me and I'm engaged / not looking, it will be annoying. Some women train in women only gym for this reason. I still think it's ok to ask in a polite way. Just don't ask in a situation where the receiver may feel threatened (eg. Alone in a dark alley) and react out of fear.

jokethrowaway 5y ago

There were apps like this among Facebook friends, I don't think something like this would pickup because you need to know about the app. Women are showered with people approaching them so they don't feel the need to register - or they register to something more on-point (see tinder, bumble). That said, women may be in the situation where they like someone and that someone is blind/shy to make the first move (men rarely imagine being the recipient of female attention). I would focus with something where women-only can send a flirt and men can register with the hope of getting one from someone they know. Best of luck

langitbiru 5y ago
> women-only can send a flirt So something similar to Bumblebee. Thanks for the feedback.