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Yes, thanks for saying this so clearly and concisely. Why is it so hard to apply this knowledge when actually confronted to a situation?? (even for strangers,

by jraph 6y ago

Yes, thanks for saying this so clearly and concisely. Why is it so hard to apply this knowledge when actually confronted to a situation?? (even for strangers, I stated that less is at stake, but it is actually still quite hard for me to speak to them! I'm way more at ease with people I know. I am very much aware that it goes very well every single time though. It's so dumb! Practice helps though.)

kristofferR 6y ago
There are mountains of books written about this topic for a reason, it's a complicated subject. One thing though, I've recently started taking my fitness seriously and I've noticed a borderline magical improvement in my confidence and social energy without actively focusing on it at all. Worth trying. It's easy to overthink this stuff, but that might just be another way of staying in our head. I don't what it is, testosterone maybe, but we shouldn't forget that our head is just as much a part of our body as our arms and legs, and if we take care of our body our thoughts tend to also be taken care of.
warent 6y ago
The mental framework we were programmed with in childhood (usually by parents) is a huge factor here too. My parents were super critical and judgemental, and pretty much taught me not to trust myself. It took years of work on this to kind of "reprogram" my mind, getting to a point where I'm totally authentic with people and rarely phased by their opinions! It's a really nice place to be. The sad part is you come to realize there are actually some people out there who feel severely threatened by authenticity, and will actively try to tear you down; make you less. That can really hurt when you're not prepared for it. People are really odd sometimes.
- chillwaves 6y ago
  It helps to understand that the way people act is mostly a projection of their inner self instead a reflection of who you are.

by jraph 6y ago

kristofferR 6y ago

There are mountains of books written about this topic for a reason, it's a complicated subject. One thing though, I've recently started taking my fitness seriously and I've noticed a borderline magical improvement in my confidence and social energy without actively focusing on it at all. Worth trying. It's easy to overthink this stuff, but that might just be another way of staying in our head. I don't what it is, testosterone maybe, but we shouldn't forget that our head is just as much a part of our body as our arms and legs, and if we take care of our body our thoughts tend to also be taken care of.

warent 6y ago

The mental framework we were programmed with in childhood (usually by parents) is a huge factor here too. My parents were super critical and judgemental, and pretty much taught me not to trust myself. It took years of work on this to kind of "reprogram" my mind, getting to a point where I'm totally authentic with people and rarely phased by their opinions! It's a really nice place to be. The sad part is you come to realize there are actually some people out there who feel severely threatened by authenticity, and will actively try to tear you down; make you less. That can really hurt when you're not prepared for it. People are really odd sometimes.

chillwaves 6y ago
It helps to understand that the way people act is mostly a projection of their inner self instead a reflection of who you are.