3 ms·

Ya, it's technically possible, but boring and tenous. If you won't spend any extra money on socializing, you're going to be a snooze to be around.

cpfohl 6y ago
Sorry, kinda wanted to respond sarcastically, but I'll be direct instead: Hiking, cooking together, playing board games, card games, playing music together, exploring, and just talking are all inexpensive or free. The most interesting people I've known in my life focused on those things anyway.
- learc83 6y ago
  If you’re poor, most of those things require some non negligible percent of your income—-if only just in gas/transportation. But more importantly they require time away from working/studying/optimizing for bank account balance.
  - scotty79 6y ago
    You can't have friends by just paying them to keep being your friends. You have to put in the time either way.
    - learc83 6y ago
      I don’t see anyone talking about paying people to be your friends.
- ludamad 6y ago
  I find I do that just great with friends and no money, until I want to do it far away
- astura 6y ago
  This is hacker news where everyone values their time at at least $100/hr. If you're socializing you, at the very least, aren't working.
  - chakerb 6y ago
    That assumption is definitely wrong! Not everyone in HN is making around $200k per year. The average in the US is about $110k. And still not everyone in HN is in the US or being payed US rates. Of course if you value your time more than what your employer is paying you then you either need to leave your current job or rethink what's the value of your time.
    - mcguire 6y ago
      Aside: the HN average in the US may be $110k. The median household income is around $60k and the median personal income is $35-40k.
  - muskox2 6y ago
    Personally I value my time at $13.50 am hour because that's what I'm paid (part time retail while I go to school). There's many different kinds of people on this site.
- brailsafe 6y ago
  No doubt, those things are great. But if the reason you're doing them is because you refuse to spend the money you do have, then those start to feel pretty finite. I think it's particularly obvious during the pandemic. The first 5 times you go for a walk are great, and then you propose getting some food in the park to change it up a bit. Maybe you need to rent a car or get a minimum kind of shoe to get to different hiking spots, and your miserly friend doesn't join just because they'd rather excessively save their money. Or you don't live somewhere with hiking, or you just want to sip coffee at a cafe but they won't buy anything. Or you want to invite them to a party but they choose to never bring anything to drink or eat. It's just kinda lame. Again, this is more about choice rather than necessity. Carries a different vibe if you're trying to do whatever you can reasonably afford, and that may mean not spending anything extra. Good friends will accommodate, but if it's obvious you're making over 100k a year (without significant dependents etc.) and won't split gas, well that doesn't lend itself well to collaborative fun times. Edit: Also, I don't mean to suggest saving money in general is inherently bad. Obviously not. But you need to be able to find that balance. I personally tend to place higher value on the chance to hang out or have a drink than having 20 more dollars in the bank. But many drinks over many weekends maybe not as much.
jstummbillig 6y ago
If decently socializing with you requires me to spent extra money, you definitely are a snooze to be around.
- learc83 6y ago
  People like to drive outside the city to hike, travel, go to restaurants, movies, bars, ballgames, museums etc... You don’t need to spend a huge amount on social stuff, but if you are only willing to do completely free activities, you are vastly limiting your social circle.
  - brailsafe 6y ago
    This was pretty much my point. If you have some spending money, and almost never are willing to spend it on things like this, then you shouldn't be surprised about significantly reduced social activity. Anyone who thinks hiking is free probably hasn't gone further or higher than their neighbourhood park.
- brailsafe 6y ago
  Decently socializing with me would require a modicum of effort on each of our parts to engage in stuff. If the activities tend to cost something, and you choose only to conserve your money, then you wouldn't really be doing that would you? If all the activities were costly, and I didn't put effort in to do other cheaper/free stuff to socialize with you, then I'd be the asshole.

cpfohl 6y ago

Sorry, kinda wanted to respond sarcastically, but I'll be direct instead: Hiking, cooking together, playing board games, card games, playing music together, exploring, and just talking are all inexpensive or free. The most interesting people I've known in my life focused on those things anyway.

learc83 6y ago
If you’re poor, most of those things require some non negligible percent of your income—-if only just in gas/transportation. But more importantly they require time away from working/studying/optimizing for bank account balance.
- scotty79 6y ago
  You can't have friends by just paying them to keep being your friends. You have to put in the time either way.
  - learc83 6y ago
    I don’t see anyone talking about paying people to be your friends.
ludamad 6y ago
I find I do that just great with friends and no money, until I want to do it far away
astura 6y ago
This is hacker news where everyone values their time at at least $100/hr. If you're socializing you, at the very least, aren't working.
- chakerb 6y ago
  That assumption is definitely wrong! Not everyone in HN is making around $200k per year. The average in the US is about $110k. And still not everyone in HN is in the US or being payed US rates. Of course if you value your time more than what your employer is paying you then you either need to leave your current job or rethink what's the value of your time.
  - mcguire 6y ago
    Aside: the HN average in the US may be $110k. The median household income is around $60k and the median personal income is $35-40k.
- muskox2 6y ago
  Personally I value my time at $13.50 am hour because that's what I'm paid (part time retail while I go to school). There's many different kinds of people on this site.
brailsafe 6y ago
No doubt, those things are great. But if the reason you're doing them is because you refuse to spend the money you do have, then those start to feel pretty finite. I think it's particularly obvious during the pandemic. The first 5 times you go for a walk are great, and then you propose getting some food in the park to change it up a bit. Maybe you need to rent a car or get a minimum kind of shoe to get to different hiking spots, and your miserly friend doesn't join just because they'd rather excessively save their money. Or you don't live somewhere with hiking, or you just want to sip coffee at a cafe but they won't buy anything. Or you want to invite them to a party but they choose to never bring anything to drink or eat. It's just kinda lame. Again, this is more about choice rather than necessity. Carries a different vibe if you're trying to do whatever you can reasonably afford, and that may mean not spending anything extra. Good friends will accommodate, but if it's obvious you're making over 100k a year (without significant dependents etc.) and won't split gas, well that doesn't lend itself well to collaborative fun times. Edit: Also, I don't mean to suggest saving money in general is inherently bad. Obviously not. But you need to be able to find that balance. I personally tend to place higher value on the chance to hang out or have a drink than having 20 more dollars in the bank. But many drinks over many weekends maybe not as much.

jstummbillig 6y ago

If decently socializing with you requires me to spent extra money, you definitely are a snooze to be around.

learc83 6y ago
People like to drive outside the city to hike, travel, go to restaurants, movies, bars, ballgames, museums etc... You don’t need to spend a huge amount on social stuff, but if you are only willing to do completely free activities, you are vastly limiting your social circle.
- brailsafe 6y ago
  This was pretty much my point. If you have some spending money, and almost never are willing to spend it on things like this, then you shouldn't be surprised about significantly reduced social activity. Anyone who thinks hiking is free probably hasn't gone further or higher than their neighbourhood park.
brailsafe 6y ago
Decently socializing with me would require a modicum of effort on each of our parts to engage in stuff. If the activities tend to cost something, and you choose only to conserve your money, then you wouldn't really be doing that would you? If all the activities were costly, and I didn't put effort in to do other cheaper/free stuff to socialize with you, then I'd be the asshole.