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I’m expecting my first child in June and have sort of been preparing for misery when it comes to sleep. I appreciate you sharing this.

cpach 6y ago
It can be rough. But it isn’t rough for all parents all the time. And keep this in mind: A period of bad sleep could be followed by a period of good sleep. Kids aren’t static, their behavior can vary a lot during different development stages. Best of luck!
- bredren 6y ago
  Thank you.
barbazoo 6y ago
Whatever happens, know that it's ultimately not only up to you. There's quite a bit of luck involved how they are able to cope with the environment and what sleep pattern they prefer. And OT but relevant for every new parent, sorry for giving unsolicited advice. But always remember, whenever it gets tough: "They're not giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time!". That helped me better understand that it's our job to help them through whatever crazy thing they're going through at any given time.
- bredren 6y ago
  Thanks for this, it is the first time I’ve shared this here. This perspective is useful. We have a cat that sometimes does stuff we wish he wouldn’t and now when unexpected stuff happens I’ve come to realize it means something is bothering him, rather than be frustrated by him. Hopefully that translates.
david422 6y ago
Good luck bud. Better to be prepared for misery just in case.
- bredren 6y ago
  I’m trying to treat it like Burning Man. Where if it’s your first time going, you go in with no expectations and as much preparedness as possible.
werdnapk 6y ago
3 kids in, aged 6, 4 and 2... 12 hours a night for all of them. I guess I did the "sleep training" thing, although all I did was what I thought was common sense stuff. Some things I did off the top of my head: - 15 min cry buffer. More than that and check diaper, or give a bottle/feeding. Never turn on the lights during these check-in times... always use a dim (soft colored light) night light that's already on to keep things "dark". Changing diapers with little light gets easier the more you do it. - Burping a newborn/baby is an essential technique. Don't leave the feeding until you get a good burp out of them. More often than not if the diaper is clean and they're fed, and they keep crying, it's trapped air that needs to be burped out. - I use a sound machine with white noise which drowns out almost all external noises. - No soothers. I let me kids figure out where their thumbs are and they use that. Too many times with my first kid I was going in to pick up the soother that dropped out of their mouth which made them cry. - Keep their room "cool". Nobody likes sweating in their sleep. A newborn will be waking up every 2-3 hours likely, but so far for me, by 3-5 months, the kids get to 12 hours. Side note, I'm the father of the kids. Breastfeeding was not done by me, so I'd bottle feed from pumped milk. Good luck!
- bredren 6y ago
  Thank you for these specific points of advice.
- _carbyau_ 6y ago
  To further with some views on feeding: 1. breast pumping provided us appreciated flexibility. After a crappy one, we got a good breast pump that did both at once. Wife appreciated being untethered from child for her relief. I appreciated being able to feed child. 2. We weren't too worried when we switched to formula exclusively after a while. Sooo many people get hung up on "breast is best" dialogue. Best comment I heard was a Maternal Child Health nurse pointing at a school yard of kids saying "Can you tell me which was breast fed and which was formula?" Ultimately though, you do you.
  - werdnapk 6y ago
    I think my kids were breast fed for 2-3 months and then another 1-2 months from frozen milk and finally a gradual move to formula by mixing the breast milk and formula so that there's no sudden transition if the child isn't used to the taste, etc. No qualms at all about using formula within the first 4-6 months.

cpach 6y ago

It can be rough. But it isn’t rough for all parents all the time. And keep this in mind: A period of bad sleep could be followed by a period of good sleep. Kids aren’t static, their behavior can vary a lot during different development stages. Best of luck!

bredren 6y ago
Thank you.

barbazoo 6y ago

Whatever happens, know that it's ultimately not only up to you. There's quite a bit of luck involved how they are able to cope with the environment and what sleep pattern they prefer. And OT but relevant for every new parent, sorry for giving unsolicited advice. But always remember, whenever it gets tough: "They're not giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time!". That helped me better understand that it's our job to help them through whatever crazy thing they're going through at any given time.

bredren 6y ago
Thanks for this, it is the first time I’ve shared this here. This perspective is useful. We have a cat that sometimes does stuff we wish he wouldn’t and now when unexpected stuff happens I’ve come to realize it means something is bothering him, rather than be frustrated by him. Hopefully that translates.

david422 6y ago

Good luck bud. Better to be prepared for misery just in case.

bredren 6y ago
I’m trying to treat it like Burning Man. Where if it’s your first time going, you go in with no expectations and as much preparedness as possible.

werdnapk 6y ago

3 kids in, aged 6, 4 and 2... 12 hours a night for all of them. I guess I did the "sleep training" thing, although all I did was what I thought was common sense stuff. Some things I did off the top of my head: - 15 min cry buffer. More than that and check diaper, or give a bottle/feeding. Never turn on the lights during these check-in times... always use a dim (soft colored light) night light that's already on to keep things "dark". Changing diapers with little light gets easier the more you do it. - Burping a newborn/baby is an essential technique. Don't leave the feeding until you get a good burp out of them. More often than not if the diaper is clean and they're fed, and they keep crying, it's trapped air that needs to be burped out. - I use a sound machine with white noise which drowns out almost all external noises. - No soothers. I let me kids figure out where their thumbs are and they use that. Too many times with my first kid I was going in to pick up the soother that dropped out of their mouth which made them cry. - Keep their room "cool". Nobody likes sweating in their sleep. A newborn will be waking up every 2-3 hours likely, but so far for me, by 3-5 months, the kids get to 12 hours. Side note, I'm the father of the kids. Breastfeeding was not done by me, so I'd bottle feed from pumped milk. Good luck!

bredren 6y ago
Thank you for these specific points of advice.
_carbyau_ 6y ago
To further with some views on feeding: 1. breast pumping provided us appreciated flexibility. After a crappy one, we got a good breast pump that did both at once. Wife appreciated being untethered from child for her relief. I appreciated being able to feed child. 2. We weren't too worried when we switched to formula exclusively after a while. Sooo many people get hung up on "breast is best" dialogue. Best comment I heard was a Maternal Child Health nurse pointing at a school yard of kids saying "Can you tell me which was breast fed and which was formula?" Ultimately though, you do you.
- werdnapk 6y ago
  I think my kids were breast fed for 2-3 months and then another 1-2 months from frozen milk and finally a gradual move to formula by mixing the breast milk and formula so that there's no sudden transition if the child isn't used to the taste, etc. No qualms at all about using formula within the first 4-6 months.