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If you have kids getting up at 6 for school and you haven't adjusted your sleep schedule to match, isn't that kind of on you now?

SethMurphy 5y ago
As a parent I need both my own down time and time alone with my spouse to feel mentally healthy too, and that is usually after they are in bed and asleep. Maybe more than 6 hours is easy, but it's usually less than 8 if I manage to do all my normal expected activities. Often I do sleep instead now though as I quickly realized my temperament is only agreeable with enough of it as I age, and the other things I need to do suffer. Others may not make the same choice, and it's not a wrong to prioritize other important aspects of mental and physical well being.
wonderwonder 5y ago
How does one do this? Parents get up at 6 to get their kids ready for school. Then take the kids to school, shower, have breakfast and then work until 6. Picking up the kids at some point in there. Then make dinner, family time and then kids go to bed at 8 or 9. Now you have the option of going right to sleep which is fine if you desire no personal time / partner time. But if you have your own hobbies or goals then you spend a couple hours on those and bang you are sleep deprived.
- PragmaticPulp 5y ago
  It's all about priorities, time management, efficiency, and sharing the load. If you want to have both parents working, stay late at the office, have both parents involved with kids for every activity, and also work on side projects late at night, you're going to struggle until the kids are more self sufficient. Even without kids, waking up at 6AM, hustling through morning routines and to the office, working to 6PM and then getting home at 6:30PM (assuming commute) leaves about 3.5 hours of free time and 8 hours for sleep. If you're trying to shoe-horn involved hobbies and side projects into those weekdays, something has to give regardless of whether or not you have kids. The standard parent learning curve usually involves: Becoming more efficient with your routines, becoming more efficient with time management at the office, learning to say no to unnecessary requests, pushing back on jobs that demand long hours (or changing jobs to a more reasonable 8-hour workday company), becoming more efficient with meals and grocery shopping, doing more tradeoff load sharing with partner instead of both people being involved in everything, and letting kids have more independent play time as they age. That said, you simply won't have as much alone time with kids in the equation. If you're trying to do too much, you have to sacrifice somewhere. It's better to do a few things well than to try to do everything at 75% commitment or being 75% awake.
growt 5y ago
I have and it is. I'm not sleep deprived (much). I just wanted to say that having kids influences your sleep far longer than six months and probably not for the better.

SethMurphy 5y ago

As a parent I need both my own down time and time alone with my spouse to feel mentally healthy too, and that is usually after they are in bed and asleep. Maybe more than 6 hours is easy, but it's usually less than 8 if I manage to do all my normal expected activities. Often I do sleep instead now though as I quickly realized my temperament is only agreeable with enough of it as I age, and the other things I need to do suffer. Others may not make the same choice, and it's not a wrong to prioritize other important aspects of mental and physical well being.

wonderwonder 5y ago

How does one do this? Parents get up at 6 to get their kids ready for school. Then take the kids to school, shower, have breakfast and then work until 6. Picking up the kids at some point in there. Then make dinner, family time and then kids go to bed at 8 or 9. Now you have the option of going right to sleep which is fine if you desire no personal time / partner time. But if you have your own hobbies or goals then you spend a couple hours on those and bang you are sleep deprived.

PragmaticPulp 5y ago
It's all about priorities, time management, efficiency, and sharing the load. If you want to have both parents working, stay late at the office, have both parents involved with kids for every activity, and also work on side projects late at night, you're going to struggle until the kids are more self sufficient. Even without kids, waking up at 6AM, hustling through morning routines and to the office, working to 6PM and then getting home at 6:30PM (assuming commute) leaves about 3.5 hours of free time and 8 hours for sleep. If you're trying to shoe-horn involved hobbies and side projects into those weekdays, something has to give regardless of whether or not you have kids. The standard parent learning curve usually involves: Becoming more efficient with your routines, becoming more efficient with time management at the office, learning to say no to unnecessary requests, pushing back on jobs that demand long hours (or changing jobs to a more reasonable 8-hour workday company), becoming more efficient with meals and grocery shopping, doing more tradeoff load sharing with partner instead of both people being involved in everything, and letting kids have more independent play time as they age. That said, you simply won't have as much alone time with kids in the equation. If you're trying to do too much, you have to sacrifice somewhere. It's better to do a few things well than to try to do everything at 75% commitment or being 75% awake.

growt 5y ago

I have and it is. I'm not sleep deprived (much). I just wanted to say that having kids influences your sleep far longer than six months and probably not for the better.