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The tone of Aditya Pakki's message makes me think they would be very well served by reading 'How to Win Friends & Influence People' by Dale Carnegie. This is o

The tone of Aditya Pakki's message makes me think they would be very well served by reading 'How to Win Friends & Influence People' by Dale Carnegie. This is obviously the complete opposite of how you should be communicating with someone in most situations let alone when you want something from them. I have sure been there though so if anything, take this as a book recommendation for 'How to Win Friends & Influence People'.

runeks 6y ago
I’ve seen this book mentioned a couple of times on HN now. I’m curious: did you learn about this book from the fourth season of the Fargo? This is where I encountered it first.
- jacobsenscott 6y ago
  The book is very famous - it launched the "self help" genra. I've never read it, but I've heard it is fairly shallow guide on manipulating people to get what you want out of them.
  - inimino 6y ago
    "genre" > I've never read it, but If you've never read it, maybe just leave it at that. > manipulating people You mean "influencing people", like it says right in the title? It's a book that has helped millions, which is why it continues to be widely recommended. It's not for everyone. The advice seems obvious to some, which of course is why it can be so valuable for others.
  - op00to 6y ago
    It's more like: "ask people about themselves, they like talking about themselves", than secret jedi mind tricks. Not really nefarious.
  - mosselman 6y ago
    You are totally right that the title makes it seem that way, I thought so too at first. Now I am happy that I have proven myself wrong by reading it. It is more like what I’d have liked my parents had taught me about social situations and empathy. Most of the points in the book are about sincere empathy for others. Just have a go at it, it costs less than a euro as an e-book and it read so easily that you’ll be done in no time.
- ska 6y ago
  It's a common recommendation for many decades now, you aren't going to find any one particular vector.
- capableweb 6y ago
  I think it's just a common book to recommend people who seem to be lacking in the "social communication" department. I would know, I got it gifted to me when I was young, angsty and smug.
- randylahey 6y ago
  Not the person you're asking, but the book is over 80 years old and one of the best selling books of all time. Not exactly the same, but it's like asking where they heard about the Bible. It's everywhere.
  - ngngngng 6y ago
    I've seen the Bible mentioned a couple times now. I'm curious, did you learn about it from watching the VidAngel original series The Chosen now streaming free from their app?
- mosselman 6y ago
  As others have stated it is everywhere. The title always scared me away from it a little, but then I saw it come by in the intro of Netflix’s “The Politician” and I thought I’d give it a chance. Especially after I found out how old it is.
dilawar 6y ago
His email reminds me the way politicians behaves in my country (India): play victim and start dunking.

runeks 6y ago

I’ve seen this book mentioned a couple of times on HN now. I’m curious: did you learn about this book from the fourth season of the Fargo? This is where I encountered it first.

jacobsenscott 6y ago
The book is very famous - it launched the "self help" genra. I've never read it, but I've heard it is fairly shallow guide on manipulating people to get what you want out of them.
- inimino 6y ago
  "genre" > I've never read it, but If you've never read it, maybe just leave it at that. > manipulating people You mean "influencing people", like it says right in the title? It's a book that has helped millions, which is why it continues to be widely recommended. It's not for everyone. The advice seems obvious to some, which of course is why it can be so valuable for others.
- op00to 6y ago
  It's more like: "ask people about themselves, they like talking about themselves", than secret jedi mind tricks. Not really nefarious.
- mosselman 6y ago
  You are totally right that the title makes it seem that way, I thought so too at first. Now I am happy that I have proven myself wrong by reading it. It is more like what I’d have liked my parents had taught me about social situations and empathy. Most of the points in the book are about sincere empathy for others. Just have a go at it, it costs less than a euro as an e-book and it read so easily that you’ll be done in no time.
ska 6y ago
It's a common recommendation for many decades now, you aren't going to find any one particular vector.
capableweb 6y ago
I think it's just a common book to recommend people who seem to be lacking in the "social communication" department. I would know, I got it gifted to me when I was young, angsty and smug.
randylahey 6y ago
Not the person you're asking, but the book is over 80 years old and one of the best selling books of all time. Not exactly the same, but it's like asking where they heard about the Bible. It's everywhere.
- ngngngng 6y ago
  I've seen the Bible mentioned a couple times now. I'm curious, did you learn about it from watching the VidAngel original series The Chosen now streaming free from their app?
mosselman 6y ago
As others have stated it is everywhere. The title always scared me away from it a little, but then I saw it come by in the intro of Netflix’s “The Politician” and I thought I’d give it a chance. Especially after I found out how old it is.

dilawar 6y ago

His email reminds me the way politicians behaves in my country (India): play victim and start dunking.