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#> Cambridge Analytica has entered the chat It still baffles me when anyone would want to continue to dump personally-identifiable info into these services. Ty

#> Cambridge Analytica has entered the chat It still baffles me when anyone would want to continue to dump personally-identifiable info into these services. Tying together all of this stuff into one dream is just a tsunami-sized data breach waiting to happen at best, and an open marketplace to lure unsuspecting rubes into divulging all of their info. There is definitely a problem for dating profile services / apps, especially for men (although I can't imagine emotionally healthy women enjoy getting barraged by a wall of "hey gurl. sup?"). I don't think the solution to the problems involve more apps, but fewer. Going out and being effective in the world is the best way to find a partner (for men or women, but especially for men). I have found all of my past / current partners this way, as honing some craft in a group setting or taking part in some group activity you actually care about (i.e. not showing up to salsa dancing because you're lonely even though you are quite sure you hate dancing) is not only enjoyable, but it gives you a chance to actually connect with people who don't have their guard up in a realm where sexual tension is a given. Best of all dates are usually just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place; I have gone on about a dozen dates with women I've found at climbing gyms to go climbing only to realize we weren't right for each other, and we just became climbing buddies. Much better than worrying about posturing for some persona one is trying to present to the world online.

langitbiru 6y ago
> just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. So I'm thinking a way to separate women who are open to dating and not with SwanLove. Say, you are a yoga instructor. You create a group with SwanLove. Women who are open to dating can set the status to be available in this group. This way, men don't bother women who want to only focus on Yoga in your yoga class. Of course, to some extent, this can kill spontaneity. > Privacy issue / Cambridge Analytica I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :)
- _huayra_ 6y ago
  > Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. In my own experience (as a guy), I have never met a woman who was emotionally healthy and would be okay advertising receptivity to advances from guys. The women who I have found in my own life who advertised "hey I want to be hit on" have usually been using attention from guys (usually the "wrong" kind of attention) to temporarily alleviate deeper emotional issues from their childhood. This is not to indict women, however; the aforementioned "men hitting on women at social settings where it is not so acceptable as a default" is definitely an issue, and likely resurfacing some thought patterns in those men who engage in that that they learned early on in their childhood (often due to their parents not teaching them empathy). Unfortunately there is less social stigma around brash pushy guys tryna hit on women at tech conferences than there ought to be, although thankfully this is changing in recent years. Maybe an app can help with this in the short term, but I think that learning how to put one's own house in order mentally, socially, and career-wise is the best way to build a foundation upon which to seek out others to bring into one's life. (note: I'm aware this overlaps with the Jordan Peterson "clean your room" thing; I agree with the sentiment, but only in its narrow sense of it as prescriptive advice, not in the broader social context of using it as an excuse for not pushing for societal change beyond oneself). Basically, an app can't solve the problem of low EQ, for either / any gender. > I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. Eventually the data will have to be ingested from these external things (e.g. Strava, linkedin, some crypto portfolio thing, etc). This data will have to be operated on in a way that at least both parties (e.g. a guy showing off his gym / crypto gains, and potential women who would request such data when building their matching profile) would have to agree to decrypt the data (operating on encrypted data is a very nascent part of research; most of it involves simple numerical operations, not complex queries). That is, by design you cannot have discoverability and privacy at the same time. For example, Tinder would be a strange experience if you had to wait for someone to "approve" you checking out their profile (i.e. providing decrypted data). Snarfing up tons of data is just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. If the big social media companies cannot keep their systems safe despite employing tons of highly-paid, highly-knowledgable engineers, I don't think any startup can survive the onslaught of security threats that such an enticing PII honeypot would create. > But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :) It is admirable of you to address issues in the world of online dating. It is currently dominated by psychologically distressing players (e.g. Tinder and its ilk). If you think you can solve it through another app or site, you may very well be right. But think about this: would you want to spend the rest of your life married to someone who considered things like your salary or your Strava data or other such superficial metrics as important markers of your value as a human being?

langitbiru 6y ago

> just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. So I'm thinking a way to separate women who are open to dating and not with SwanLove. Say, you are a yoga instructor. You create a group with SwanLove. Women who are open to dating can set the status to be available in this group. This way, men don't bother women who want to only focus on Yoga in your yoga class. Of course, to some extent, this can kill spontaneity. > Privacy issue / Cambridge Analytica I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :)

_huayra_ 6y ago
> Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. In my own experience (as a guy), I have never met a woman who was emotionally healthy and would be okay advertising receptivity to advances from guys. The women who I have found in my own life who advertised "hey I want to be hit on" have usually been using attention from guys (usually the "wrong" kind of attention) to temporarily alleviate deeper emotional issues from their childhood. This is not to indict women, however; the aforementioned "men hitting on women at social settings where it is not so acceptable as a default" is definitely an issue, and likely resurfacing some thought patterns in those men who engage in that that they learned early on in their childhood (often due to their parents not teaching them empathy). Unfortunately there is less social stigma around brash pushy guys tryna hit on women at tech conferences than there ought to be, although thankfully this is changing in recent years. Maybe an app can help with this in the short term, but I think that learning how to put one's own house in order mentally, socially, and career-wise is the best way to build a foundation upon which to seek out others to bring into one's life. (note: I'm aware this overlaps with the Jordan Peterson "clean your room" thing; I agree with the sentiment, but only in its narrow sense of it as prescriptive advice, not in the broader social context of using it as an excuse for not pushing for societal change beyond oneself). Basically, an app can't solve the problem of low EQ, for either / any gender. > I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. Eventually the data will have to be ingested from these external things (e.g. Strava, linkedin, some crypto portfolio thing, etc). This data will have to be operated on in a way that at least both parties (e.g. a guy showing off his gym / crypto gains, and potential women who would request such data when building their matching profile) would have to agree to decrypt the data (operating on encrypted data is a very nascent part of research; most of it involves simple numerical operations, not complex queries). That is, by design you cannot have discoverability and privacy at the same time. For example, Tinder would be a strange experience if you had to wait for someone to "approve" you checking out their profile (i.e. providing decrypted data). Snarfing up tons of data is just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. If the big social media companies cannot keep their systems safe despite employing tons of highly-paid, highly-knowledgable engineers, I don't think any startup can survive the onslaught of security threats that such an enticing PII honeypot would create. > But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :) It is admirable of you to address issues in the world of online dating. It is currently dominated by psychologically distressing players (e.g. Tinder and its ilk). If you think you can solve it through another app or site, you may very well be right. But think about this: would you want to spend the rest of your life married to someone who considered things like your salary or your Strava data or other such superficial metrics as important markers of your value as a human being?