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I'm building SwanLove (https://swan.love https://swan.love) to address this issue. > Using social media for dating In SwanLove, you can verify your Linkedin p

I'm building SwanLove (https://swan.love https://swan.love) to address this issue. > Using social media for dating In SwanLove, you can verify your Linkedin profile. Basically you put some random string generated in SwanLove in a public post and tell SwanLove about it. SwanLove will open the webpage and check the username and the random string to verify the ownership of the Linkedin profile. This way, we can separate people who want to date in Linkedin into a dedicated group. So we don't bother/flirt with other people in Linkedin. Same idea can be applied to other social medias, like GitHub, Twitter, Strava. Basically SwanLove adds dating to any social media. > And your attractiveness level is based on this whole gestalt So I plan to add accomplishments in the dating profile on SwanLove. You can send your payslip to me so I can verify it. Then you can flex your income. You can link your Ethereum account to your dating profile so you can flex your wealth (your Eth balance, your CryptoPunk, your virtual pets in Axie Infinity). You can link your Twitter to your dating profile so you can flex your number of followers. You can link your Chess.com account to flex your intelligence in playing chess. I imagine, there will be a gym which can release a certificate of fitness. Then you can flex your physical fitness. You can link your Kaggle, Toastmaster, etc, to your dating profile. You get the idea. This way, a man who is not tall and photogenic has a better chance to show his values to women. I have applied to YC but I don't think I can make it this time. The product is still rough. Perhaps in next batch, I'll have a better chance. :)

fakedang 5y ago
I don't know if this is serious or an elaborate parody, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
_huayra_ 5y ago
#> Cambridge Analytica has entered the chat It still baffles me when anyone would want to continue to dump personally-identifiable info into these services. Tying together all of this stuff into one dream is just a tsunami-sized data breach waiting to happen at best, and an open marketplace to lure unsuspecting rubes into divulging all of their info. There is definitely a problem for dating profile services / apps, especially for men (although I can't imagine emotionally healthy women enjoy getting barraged by a wall of "hey gurl. sup?"). I don't think the solution to the problems involve more apps, but fewer. Going out and being effective in the world is the best way to find a partner (for men or women, but especially for men). I have found all of my past / current partners this way, as honing some craft in a group setting or taking part in some group activity you actually care about (i.e. not showing up to salsa dancing because you're lonely even though you are quite sure you hate dancing) is not only enjoyable, but it gives you a chance to actually connect with people who don't have their guard up in a realm where sexual tension is a given. Best of all dates are usually just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place; I have gone on about a dozen dates with women I've found at climbing gyms to go climbing only to realize we weren't right for each other, and we just became climbing buddies. Much better than worrying about posturing for some persona one is trying to present to the world online.
- langitbiru 5y ago
  > just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. So I'm thinking a way to separate women who are open to dating and not with SwanLove. Say, you are a yoga instructor. You create a group with SwanLove. Women who are open to dating can set the status to be available in this group. This way, men don't bother women who want to only focus on Yoga in your yoga class. Of course, to some extent, this can kill spontaneity. > Privacy issue / Cambridge Analytica I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :)
  - _huayra_ 5y ago
    > Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. In my own experience (as a guy), I have never met a woman who was emotionally healthy and would be okay advertising receptivity to advances from guys. The women who I have found in my own life who advertised "hey I want to be hit on" have usually been using attention from guys (usually the "wrong" kind of attention) to temporarily alleviate deeper emotional issues from their childhood. This is not to indict women, however; the aforementioned "men hitting on women at social settings where it is not so acceptable as a default" is definitely an issue, and likely resurfacing some thought patterns in those men who engage in that that they learned early on in their childhood (often due to their parents not teaching them empathy). Unfortunately there is less social stigma around brash pushy guys tryna hit on women at tech conferences than there ought to be, although thankfully this is changing in recent years. Maybe an app can help with this in the short term, but I think that learning how to put one's own house in order mentally, socially, and career-wise is the best way to build a foundation upon which to seek out others to bring into one's life. (note: I'm aware this overlaps with the Jordan Peterson "clean your room" thing; I agree with the sentiment, but only in its narrow sense of it as prescriptive advice, not in the broader social context of using it as an excuse for not pushing for societal change beyond oneself). Basically, an app can't solve the problem of low EQ, for either / any gender. > I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. Eventually the data will have to be ingested from these external things (e.g. Strava, linkedin, some crypto portfolio thing, etc). This data will have to be operated on in a way that at least both parties (e.g. a guy showing off his gym / crypto gains, and potential women who would request such data when building their matching profile) would have to agree to decrypt the data (operating on encrypted data is a very nascent part of research; most of it involves simple numerical operations, not complex queries). That is, by design you cannot have discoverability and privacy at the same time. For example, Tinder would be a strange experience if you had to wait for someone to "approve" you checking out their profile (i.e. providing decrypted data). Snarfing up tons of data is just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. If the big social media companies cannot keep their systems safe despite employing tons of highly-paid, highly-knowledgable engineers, I don't think any startup can survive the onslaught of security threats that such an enticing PII honeypot would create. > But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :) It is admirable of you to address issues in the world of online dating. It is currently dominated by psychologically distressing players (e.g. Tinder and its ilk). If you think you can solve it through another app or site, you may very well be right. But think about this: would you want to spend the rest of your life married to someone who considered things like your salary or your Strava data or other such superficial metrics as important markers of your value as a human being?
paper743cut 5y ago
Nothing personal. I hope this idea never takes off. Just dealing with linkedin in professional setting in and itself has too many problems like the current employer knows i am on job search etc. To top it off basically you are saying integrating facebook with linkedin, thats doubled fucked.
- langitbiru 5y ago
  Hey, none taken. I'm happy to receive feedback. If you look at my profile, I still got other projects in case this SwanLove is a stupid idea. Responding to your point: you don't have to integrate Linkedin to your dating profile in SwanLove. You can integrate Strava account to your dating profile so you can find people who like to run or cycle. In the future, in SwanLove, you'll have: https://swan.love/linkedin https://swan.love/linkedin (for people who want to find mates in Linkedin) https://swan.love/strava https://swan.love/strava (for people who want to find mates in Strava) https://swan.love/github https://swan.love/github (for people who want to find mates in GitHub) Knowing that your date has a Linkedin profile can give some security to some people. Some people only want to date people with a job.
selfhoster11 5y ago
> You can send your payslip to me so I can verify it. Then you can flex your income. You can link your Ethereum account to your dating profile so you can flex your wealth (your Eth balance, your CryptoPunk, your virtual pets in Axie Infinity). You can link your Twitter to your dating profile so you can flex your number of followers. You can link your Chess.com account to flex your intelligence in playing chess. I imagine, there will be a gym which can release a certificate of fitness. Then you can flex your physical fitness. You can link your Kaggle, Toastmaster, etc, to your dating profile. You get the idea. Taken at face value, this is incredibly Black Mirror-esque. There is absolutely no way I will participate in this.
- langitbiru 5y ago
  I mean, the online dating is already Black Mirror-esque for most of men (if you read the article). Whether my solution is a genius solution or a stupid idea, time will tell and it's up for debate (which is what we are doing here). I mean, I still have backup projects if this idea is stupid or does not take off. I can still write DeFi app. I have a part-time jobs board. I have a tool to predict the salary range of jobs. So it's not the end of the world if SwanLove is a stupid idea.
temp5565_65 5y ago
LinkedIn is basically Stepford Smiler Central. There is no good argument to link back to a LinkedIn profile for dating purposes vs just saying the other person has a profile as an FYI.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
jfengel 5y ago
I believe you'll find that most women are less interested in "flexes" than your post suggests. Every woman is different, of course, but I believe you'll find it won't solve the problems that women have. They do care about being lied to, so if you claim to be a chess master and you're not, that's bad. But a link to your chess.com account isn't the solution. Playing a game of chess together is the solution. The fact that you can beat other people is of little interest, true or not. Even if she doesn't play chess, and you can tell interesting stories about chess games, that can be successful. But that's not solved by linking to your account. It's solved by telling stories. Women hate being lied to about your salary, but to a large degree they just want to know if you're comfortable and not have money be an issue. HN often presents a mercenary view of women, and while I'm sure it does sometimes happen, it's just not true very often. Yes, it's hard to date when you're poor -- because it's hard to date when you're poor. But you can easily make up for it by being entertaining and interesting, which can be free. Meet in a park and just talk. That means far more to most women than anything you could demonstrated on LinkedIn. As you say, your experiment will succeed or fail on its own merits, and best of luck to you. But I believe you'll be most successful if you treat women as people who are looking for somebody to spend time with -- from a night to a month to a lifetime. Find ways to present men that emphasize those aspects of them, and I believe you'll have a better chance of connecting men and women.

fakedang 5y ago

I don't know if this is serious or an elaborate parody, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]

_huayra_ 5y ago

#> Cambridge Analytica has entered the chat It still baffles me when anyone would want to continue to dump personally-identifiable info into these services. Tying together all of this stuff into one dream is just a tsunami-sized data breach waiting to happen at best, and an open marketplace to lure unsuspecting rubes into divulging all of their info. There is definitely a problem for dating profile services / apps, especially for men (although I can't imagine emotionally healthy women enjoy getting barraged by a wall of "hey gurl. sup?"). I don't think the solution to the problems involve more apps, but fewer. Going out and being effective in the world is the best way to find a partner (for men or women, but especially for men). I have found all of my past / current partners this way, as honing some craft in a group setting or taking part in some group activity you actually care about (i.e. not showing up to salsa dancing because you're lonely even though you are quite sure you hate dancing) is not only enjoyable, but it gives you a chance to actually connect with people who don't have their guard up in a realm where sexual tension is a given. Best of all dates are usually just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place; I have gone on about a dozen dates with women I've found at climbing gyms to go climbing only to realize we weren't right for each other, and we just became climbing buddies. Much better than worrying about posturing for some persona one is trying to present to the world online.

langitbiru 5y ago
> just doing the same activity you were interested in in the first place Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. So I'm thinking a way to separate women who are open to dating and not with SwanLove. Say, you are a yoga instructor. You create a group with SwanLove. Women who are open to dating can set the status to be available in this group. This way, men don't bother women who want to only focus on Yoga in your yoga class. Of course, to some extent, this can kill spontaneity. > Privacy issue / Cambridge Analytica I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :)
- _huayra_ 5y ago
  > Some women don't like to be hit on social settings. For example, in tech conference, some women complained that men flirted with them. In my own experience (as a guy), I have never met a woman who was emotionally healthy and would be okay advertising receptivity to advances from guys. The women who I have found in my own life who advertised "hey I want to be hit on" have usually been using attention from guys (usually the "wrong" kind of attention) to temporarily alleviate deeper emotional issues from their childhood. This is not to indict women, however; the aforementioned "men hitting on women at social settings where it is not so acceptable as a default" is definitely an issue, and likely resurfacing some thought patterns in those men who engage in that that they learned early on in their childhood (often due to their parents not teaching them empathy). Unfortunately there is less social stigma around brash pushy guys tryna hit on women at tech conferences than there ought to be, although thankfully this is changing in recent years. Maybe an app can help with this in the short term, but I think that learning how to put one's own house in order mentally, socially, and career-wise is the best way to build a foundation upon which to seek out others to bring into one's life. (note: I'm aware this overlaps with the Jordan Peterson "clean your room" thing; I agree with the sentiment, but only in its narrow sense of it as prescriptive advice, not in the broader social context of using it as an excuse for not pushing for societal change beyond oneself). Basically, an app can't solve the problem of low EQ, for either / any gender. > I'm thinking of adding some encryption technology like zero-proof knowledge so even I as the owner of the website couldn't see the data. So I put some decentralized aspect onto it. Eventually the data will have to be ingested from these external things (e.g. Strava, linkedin, some crypto portfolio thing, etc). This data will have to be operated on in a way that at least both parties (e.g. a guy showing off his gym / crypto gains, and potential women who would request such data when building their matching profile) would have to agree to decrypt the data (operating on encrypted data is a very nascent part of research; most of it involves simple numerical operations, not complex queries). That is, by design you cannot have discoverability and privacy at the same time. For example, Tinder would be a strange experience if you had to wait for someone to "approve" you checking out their profile (i.e. providing decrypted data). Snarfing up tons of data is just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. If the big social media companies cannot keep their systems safe despite employing tons of highly-paid, highly-knowledgable engineers, I don't think any startup can survive the onslaught of security threats that such an enticing PII honeypot would create. > But fair enough. If this idea is proved to be so stupid, I guess I'll write a boring DeFi app. :) It is admirable of you to address issues in the world of online dating. It is currently dominated by psychologically distressing players (e.g. Tinder and its ilk). If you think you can solve it through another app or site, you may very well be right. But think about this: would you want to spend the rest of your life married to someone who considered things like your salary or your Strava data or other such superficial metrics as important markers of your value as a human being?

paper743cut 5y ago

Nothing personal. I hope this idea never takes off. Just dealing with linkedin in professional setting in and itself has too many problems like the current employer knows i am on job search etc. To top it off basically you are saying integrating facebook with linkedin, thats doubled fucked.

langitbiru 5y ago
Hey, none taken. I'm happy to receive feedback. If you look at my profile, I still got other projects in case this SwanLove is a stupid idea. Responding to your point: you don't have to integrate Linkedin to your dating profile in SwanLove. You can integrate Strava account to your dating profile so you can find people who like to run or cycle. In the future, in SwanLove, you'll have: https://swan.love/linkedin https://swan.love/linkedin (for people who want to find mates in Linkedin) https://swan.love/strava https://swan.love/strava (for people who want to find mates in Strava) https://swan.love/github https://swan.love/github (for people who want to find mates in GitHub) Knowing that your date has a Linkedin profile can give some security to some people. Some people only want to date people with a job.

selfhoster11 5y ago

> You can send your payslip to me so I can verify it. Then you can flex your income. You can link your Ethereum account to your dating profile so you can flex your wealth (your Eth balance, your CryptoPunk, your virtual pets in Axie Infinity). You can link your Twitter to your dating profile so you can flex your number of followers. You can link your Chess.com account to flex your intelligence in playing chess. I imagine, there will be a gym which can release a certificate of fitness. Then you can flex your physical fitness. You can link your Kaggle, Toastmaster, etc, to your dating profile. You get the idea. Taken at face value, this is incredibly Black Mirror-esque. There is absolutely no way I will participate in this.

langitbiru 5y ago
I mean, the online dating is already Black Mirror-esque for most of men (if you read the article). Whether my solution is a genius solution or a stupid idea, time will tell and it's up for debate (which is what we are doing here). I mean, I still have backup projects if this idea is stupid or does not take off. I can still write DeFi app. I have a part-time jobs board. I have a tool to predict the salary range of jobs. So it's not the end of the world if SwanLove is a stupid idea.

temp5565_65 5y ago

LinkedIn is basically Stepford Smiler Central. There is no good argument to link back to a LinkedIn profile for dating purposes vs just saying the other person has a profile as an FYI.

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

jfengel 5y ago

I believe you'll find that most women are less interested in "flexes" than your post suggests. Every woman is different, of course, but I believe you'll find it won't solve the problems that women have. They do care about being lied to, so if you claim to be a chess master and you're not, that's bad. But a link to your chess.com account isn't the solution. Playing a game of chess together is the solution. The fact that you can beat other people is of little interest, true or not. Even if she doesn't play chess, and you can tell interesting stories about chess games, that can be successful. But that's not solved by linking to your account. It's solved by telling stories. Women hate being lied to about your salary, but to a large degree they just want to know if you're comfortable and not have money be an issue. HN often presents a mercenary view of women, and while I'm sure it does sometimes happen, it's just not true very often. Yes, it's hard to date when you're poor -- because it's hard to date when you're poor. But you can easily make up for it by being entertaining and interesting, which can be free. Meet in a park and just talk. That means far more to most women than anything you could demonstrated on LinkedIn. As you say, your experiment will succeed or fail on its own merits, and best of luck to you. But I believe you'll be most successful if you treat women as people who are looking for somebody to spend time with -- from a night to a month to a lifetime. Find ways to present men that emphasize those aspects of them, and I believe you'll have a better chance of connecting men and women.