Training your child to be obedient isn't (or shouldn't be---there are always pathological cases) something you do for the hell of it. Teaching obedience is impo

Training your child to be obedient isn't (or shouldn't be---there are always pathological cases) something you do for the hell of it. Teaching obedience is important because children are wont to make bad decisions, sometimes with immediate negative consequences. Example: parent walks along sidewalk with child. Child decides to run into the street, not noticing oncoming car. Parent, unable to do anything else, yells "no!" If the child doesn't know that when the parent yells a command like that he needs to listen now, the child stands a very good chance of getting run over. In my mind, exercising a reasonable level of control over a person who might otherwise be a danger to herself is not some kind of dystopic nightmare, it's a rational approach to parenting. Seems like both extreme positions are a little loony, though: "I hit my kids because that's how my parents did it" isn't a particularly fruitful argument. Fundamentally, you just need to think about why you do what you do as a parent, and carefully consider whether your actions are rational: I know a lot of parents who say things like "it's just so hard to put him to sleep because I can't stand when he cries!" It's very difficult to convince such people that their motivations are selfish, even when the message is delivered delicately.