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I have had to deal with this. Resetting expectations with health issues, family and personal challenges and growth, finance, unemployment, etc. Huge keys are

by lcall 5y ago

I have had to deal with this. Resetting expectations with health issues, family and personal challenges and growth, finance, unemployment, etc. Huge keys are honesty with self and others, kindness (the whole true Golden Rule), prioritizing and solving problems one at a time, not giving up, etc. (Edit: others here also have some ideas that can be helpful -- like maintaining good health practices, etc.) Still, for me, and I think after a certain point for anyone, there are big some prerequisites, or the good conventional wisdom can break down and be insufficient. Prerequisites including things like like having balance and purpose in life, and a perspective and way of knowing that things will be OK in the long run, that hard things are OK for now, where to find help and solutions, and endure well through the unsolved (for now) things, how & why. I've written much more elsewhere (see profile; nothing for sale but can try answering qs). It is hard, possible for anyone one step at a time, and worth it.

alexanderjchun 5y ago
A friend recommended "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" when I came to him about this. The kindness to self part was definitely an issue for me. I was not nearly as zealous as the author, but it did teach me to cut myself some slack. I have been doing all the conventional wisdom stuff like light exercise, eating better, etc. and they are working a little, but you're right. It doesn't feel like it's enough and that's why I came here. I'm going to go take a long walk and rethink what I really want and be honest with myself about whether it's realistic. Thank you.
- lcall 5y ago
  I think what many really want is joy -- happiness in things that last, and expectation that one's direction is worthwhile for reasons that are both real and good. (Some unselfishness is usually involved.) I hope you find it, and I think you will, sooner or later. (Again, happy to discuss any time.)
- lcall 5y ago
  ps: If anything I can do or write is useful, I'm very glad. I feel like I have found the tools that bring joy, and the means to step through the problems that are part of life, while being pointed in the right direction and growing, learning. I'm very grateful. It's a long road but really good.

by lcall 5y ago

alexanderjchun 5y ago

A friend recommended "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" when I came to him about this. The kindness to self part was definitely an issue for me. I was not nearly as zealous as the author, but it did teach me to cut myself some slack. I have been doing all the conventional wisdom stuff like light exercise, eating better, etc. and they are working a little, but you're right. It doesn't feel like it's enough and that's why I came here. I'm going to go take a long walk and rethink what I really want and be honest with myself about whether it's realistic. Thank you.

lcall 5y ago
I think what many really want is joy -- happiness in things that last, and expectation that one's direction is worthwhile for reasons that are both real and good. (Some unselfishness is usually involved.) I hope you find it, and I think you will, sooner or later. (Again, happy to discuss any time.)
lcall 5y ago
ps: If anything I can do or write is useful, I'm very glad. I feel like I have found the tools that bring joy, and the means to step through the problems that are part of life, while being pointed in the right direction and growing, learning. I'm very grateful. It's a long road but really good.