4 ms·

I've definitely had my femininity attacked in an openly hostile manner. Often. When I was in junior high and high school, I thought women were the lesser sex

I've definitely had my femininity attacked in an openly hostile manner. Often. When I was in junior high and high school, I thought women were the lesser sex and eschewed girly hobbies and clothing in favor of more masculine things. No dresses, no makeup, I cooked in order to eat, nothing fancy. I hung out with the guys and played video games. It wasn't until the last 5 years or so that I realized I could wear skirts out shopping and work a blue collar job during the week. I know masculinity is under attack in many circles, but it's quite the claim to say that femininity is less so.

Guthur 6y ago
I of course could have a selection bias being male myself, and I mean not to diminish the attack on femininity. It's unfortunate that this all becomes a little adversarial across gender divides, especially considering how beneficial I think cross gender relationships generally are. Indeed, I do loathe the lose of more femininity in life and media. I feel quite often now in media a "strong female lead" is essentially changing the pronoun of what once would have been a male character, in my opinion this is lazy and disingenuous to strong femininity.
- msrenee 6y ago
  Sorry if I came at you a little aggressively there. I'm still getting used to the fact that this isn't reddit and just assumed you were one of those guys who thinks that women are handed everything in life and men are the real victims here. What I'd like to see is both men and women being encouraged to show "feminine" traits. What's wrong with demonstrating emotion? Why does it seem like the only emotion men are allowed to have is anger? Why does a man have to be stoic and avoid asking for help when he's in pain? It's not advantageous for anyone. On the flip side, why are women not allowed to stand their ground without being called bitchy? I've had problems a number of times in previous jobs where I'm right about the way something should be done, know I'm right, but no matter how carefully I tried to word my disagreement with what was going on, the men I worked with would shut down and become cold to me. A man making the same suggestion, however, was a leader with good ideas. Thankfully I've found a job where I'm expected to be a little pushy and opinionated and life has been so much easier since. I see where you're coming from and agree that we should be encouraging both masculinity and femininity because both have their value. Being a bit of a "masculine" chick myself though, I don't feel that these traits should be strictly assigned to their traditional genders. There's a lot of value in women who have good ideas defending them rather than trying to keep the peace and there's a lot of value in a man who has high emotional intelligence entering a caretaker role or even just using that sensitivity to keep a team cohesive. I think society has definitely done itself a disservice by expecting women to be more like men and expecting men to be almost a caricature of masculinity.

Guthur 6y ago

I of course could have a selection bias being male myself, and I mean not to diminish the attack on femininity. It's unfortunate that this all becomes a little adversarial across gender divides, especially considering how beneficial I think cross gender relationships generally are. Indeed, I do loathe the lose of more femininity in life and media. I feel quite often now in media a "strong female lead" is essentially changing the pronoun of what once would have been a male character, in my opinion this is lazy and disingenuous to strong femininity.

msrenee 6y ago
Sorry if I came at you a little aggressively there. I'm still getting used to the fact that this isn't reddit and just assumed you were one of those guys who thinks that women are handed everything in life and men are the real victims here. What I'd like to see is both men and women being encouraged to show "feminine" traits. What's wrong with demonstrating emotion? Why does it seem like the only emotion men are allowed to have is anger? Why does a man have to be stoic and avoid asking for help when he's in pain? It's not advantageous for anyone. On the flip side, why are women not allowed to stand their ground without being called bitchy? I've had problems a number of times in previous jobs where I'm right about the way something should be done, know I'm right, but no matter how carefully I tried to word my disagreement with what was going on, the men I worked with would shut down and become cold to me. A man making the same suggestion, however, was a leader with good ideas. Thankfully I've found a job where I'm expected to be a little pushy and opinionated and life has been so much easier since. I see where you're coming from and agree that we should be encouraging both masculinity and femininity because both have their value. Being a bit of a "masculine" chick myself though, I don't feel that these traits should be strictly assigned to their traditional genders. There's a lot of value in women who have good ideas defending them rather than trying to keep the peace and there's a lot of value in a man who has high emotional intelligence entering a caretaker role or even just using that sensitivity to keep a team cohesive. I think society has definitely done itself a disservice by expecting women to be more like men and expecting men to be almost a caricature of masculinity.