3 ms·

> And it’s not only sexual but merely human connection that helps an unbalanced psych enormously. Which is why if you read about what incels say, it seems they

by sage76 6y ago

> And it’s not only sexual but merely human connection that helps an unbalanced psych enormously. Which is why if you read about what incels say, it seems they don't want to see escorts. Most of their problems seem to lie in feeling unwanted. My guess is they are largely a byproduct of an atmoized individualistic society. They lack human connection, and see romantic connection as the ultimate one, reinforced by the fact that people tend to have fewer/no friends as they age.

airhead969 6y ago
Incels, I think, have a chip on their shoulders and negative attitudes. If they had better perspectives, I think they would enjoy life more and connect with others in healthier ways. It is true though that social media, glowing screen distractions, and changing beliefs based on corporate manufactured/reinforced attitudes to leave insecurities and unfulfilled wants tend to put distance between people in the real world. The challenge is to make the extra effort to break through all that. I've found there are plenty of cool people who still socialize, and not just at an ephemeral, chit-chat level. It's just no one else wants to make the effort, aeveryone is waiting for Godot, and so nothing happens without initiative.
- sage76 6y ago
  > I've found there are plenty of cool people who still socialize Maybe it was just the circle I made, but people were exhausted from work and trying to survive. They barely managed time for self care. Could be an American thing. But I find it fascinating that everyone complains about loneliness and then when anyone makes an initiative to do something, people have a 100 excuses.
tartoran 6y ago
>> Most of their problems seem to lie in feeling unwanted. And exactly because of that they are the least attractive to potential mates. And instead of facing that they attack idea in itself. Their problems are initially psych related and there should be a cure to them if enough attention was paid to them clinically. Their forums are not part of the solution, they are creating it. The terrible negative advice and toxic evolutionary dogma, the idea that they are excluded from the genetic pool by genetically superiors, ascribing them epithets and making it all a game in which they are the anti-protagonists themselves cannot lead to a healthy psyche but I haven't heard of any orchestrated effort to help them out, there are only secret agents monitoring for potential violence outbreaks in these communities. They are instead embittered, self hating and fueled with resentment daily on these forums by the self proclaimed leaders of thought in these forums. They feel like they are rejected from both women and men. They feel out of place from this world and the only solace they find on forums. These people need to be paid some attention to, to be taken out on trips, healthy communities to be made for them since they are not capable of creating themselves but this is a societal ill in many ways.
- sage76 6y ago
  For those in certain countries, even finding affordable mental healthcare can be a problem. It doesn't help that mental health help is seen as 'weak' and 'for wusses' and that they just need to man up.
  - tartoran 6y ago
    Yes, all this is part of a larger problem. But it can be fixed or at least mitigate it as much as possible
airhead969 6y ago
Another thought that people might dv without considering it from an intellectual perspective: Dispensing with incel negativity.. OTOH, let's consider attractive people who are accosted by people who just want to have sex with them without knowing them. That seems to feel similarly lonely, yes? I mean, I'm no one special at all, but it feels weird in such examples as: you were chased around the playground by groups of the opposite gender before you understood, girls on the elementary school bus flashed you below their waists, much later a woman ditches her friend for you in the middle of the street, a woman wants you to get with her girlfriends, a woman pulls over and stops her car in the middle of traffic to make a proposal, or someone just comes right up to you and starts grinding on your leg after talking for 30 seconds. How can someone find intimacy if they're always anxious about not being appreciated as a person?
- sage76 6y ago
  I get what you're saying, but people with privilege will generally not garner much sympathy from anyone. It's just not a good look (pun unintended) for a someone born attractive to complain about their hard life.
  - airhead969 5y ago
    The hate and jealousy you're projecting that I suggested to avoid isn't helpful to the point that you missed. Still, you went for a cheap shot. "X but Y." X is always BS.

by sage76 6y ago

airhead969 6y ago

Incels, I think, have a chip on their shoulders and negative attitudes. If they had better perspectives, I think they would enjoy life more and connect with others in healthier ways. It is true though that social media, glowing screen distractions, and changing beliefs based on corporate manufactured/reinforced attitudes to leave insecurities and unfulfilled wants tend to put distance between people in the real world. The challenge is to make the extra effort to break through all that. I've found there are plenty of cool people who still socialize, and not just at an ephemeral, chit-chat level. It's just no one else wants to make the effort, aeveryone is waiting for Godot, and so nothing happens without initiative.

sage76 6y ago
> I've found there are plenty of cool people who still socialize Maybe it was just the circle I made, but people were exhausted from work and trying to survive. They barely managed time for self care. Could be an American thing. But I find it fascinating that everyone complains about loneliness and then when anyone makes an initiative to do something, people have a 100 excuses.

tartoran 6y ago

>> Most of their problems seem to lie in feeling unwanted. And exactly because of that they are the least attractive to potential mates. And instead of facing that they attack idea in itself. Their problems are initially psych related and there should be a cure to them if enough attention was paid to them clinically. Their forums are not part of the solution, they are creating it. The terrible negative advice and toxic evolutionary dogma, the idea that they are excluded from the genetic pool by genetically superiors, ascribing them epithets and making it all a game in which they are the anti-protagonists themselves cannot lead to a healthy psyche but I haven't heard of any orchestrated effort to help them out, there are only secret agents monitoring for potential violence outbreaks in these communities. They are instead embittered, self hating and fueled with resentment daily on these forums by the self proclaimed leaders of thought in these forums. They feel like they are rejected from both women and men. They feel out of place from this world and the only solace they find on forums. These people need to be paid some attention to, to be taken out on trips, healthy communities to be made for them since they are not capable of creating themselves but this is a societal ill in many ways.

sage76 6y ago
For those in certain countries, even finding affordable mental healthcare can be a problem. It doesn't help that mental health help is seen as 'weak' and 'for wusses' and that they just need to man up.
- tartoran 6y ago
  Yes, all this is part of a larger problem. But it can be fixed or at least mitigate it as much as possible

airhead969 6y ago

Another thought that people might dv without considering it from an intellectual perspective: Dispensing with incel negativity.. OTOH, let's consider attractive people who are accosted by people who just want to have sex with them without knowing them. That seems to feel similarly lonely, yes? I mean, I'm no one special at all, but it feels weird in such examples as: you were chased around the playground by groups of the opposite gender before you understood, girls on the elementary school bus flashed you below their waists, much later a woman ditches her friend for you in the middle of the street, a woman wants you to get with her girlfriends, a woman pulls over and stops her car in the middle of traffic to make a proposal, or someone just comes right up to you and starts grinding on your leg after talking for 30 seconds. How can someone find intimacy if they're always anxious about not being appreciated as a person?

sage76 6y ago
I get what you're saying, but people with privilege will generally not garner much sympathy from anyone. It's just not a good look (pun unintended) for a someone born attractive to complain about their hard life.
- airhead969 5y ago
  The hate and jealousy you're projecting that I suggested to avoid isn't helpful to the point that you missed. Still, you went for a cheap shot. "X but Y." X is always BS.