Forget about Tech & hiring for a minute. Try to pretend you're not in dire straits financially and think where you'd like to be professionally if these things w

Forget about Tech & hiring for a minute. Try to pretend you're not in dire straits financially and think where you'd like to be professionally if these things weren't the issue. What kind of job would you like to do if things were going well? No hiring manager will want to hear "I'm flexible", or "I can do anything" they want you to know for yourself exactly where you have set your mind at so there is little risk for them when they match you to what they have. Flexibility does backfire so avoid it! There are many rants on social media right now from people who love hating on the meme that you need passion for your job. They are right ofc that this is overrated (and the point of where HR people sound like hallmark cards peddling passion as a requirement for the job also makes my stomach turn). But if it weren't for passion I'd have nothing in life and no desire to achieve anything. It's also not enough to use passion to get out of where you are but it often is the first step in initiating needed change. Once you have it (don't be too eager to announce it but let it be your engine). Passion helped me to put up with a lot of other crap in life because it's like blinders on a horse that make you power through the shit while others say it can't be done. It allows you to be stubborn when you need to be (but others telling you "you can't afford its luxury"). It will also help keep your eyes on the ball when the road takes you on a detour. The best trips usually do, or as Mike Tyson said "everyone has a plan till they get punched". So better be great at rolling with the punches. The problems you describe means you're the underdog that has to work 10x the normal rate and people like to hate on them because it provides them the contrast that they need to feel good themselves. They point their petty fingers and say "look how well I'm doing in comparison", and you need to assume many will do that instead of really helping you. You can sense the tone of some in this thread. Be sure many IRL will also get hung up on that you tried to spoof the number. But really nobody gives a shit as long as you don't tell them. We all fuck up, so move on, do better next time. And don't listen to anyone but yourself (and below is the reason why this is crucial). People in your situation don't really know any more what their self* wants in the long run and are forced to take the next best opportunity (anything really because as your environment tells you: you can't afford to be picky). You may think you're not even in a position to say no to anything. Any crap somebody offers you will need to be "evaluated" as it were "the deal of your life"! And this is what wastes your time and what may cost you dearly, there is nothing more expensive than being poor (having no options). So be careful with any and all advise and with the opportunities that you consider taking and reject them when needed. This is a mindfuck because how could you when you seem to have no choice: but you always have choice! And as others here have said: take a step back (meaning step out of your comfort zone and accept a detour). You still got the best years in front of you but it depends on the things you set in motion _today_. Many don't have that luxury anymore (even they talk a big game). If you can't get your foot in the door try to find something that allows you to survive, but where you can also carve out just enough time on working on a side project (or whatever you decide tickles your fancy. It doesn't need to be work related - that might come anyway automatically[1]) and build a social network from there (because you are forced but more importantly because you want to and it feels right). It might take months or it could take years. But the point is that you keep moving. Sometimes quite literally. You can optimize your luck by packing light and move to another city or country to do whatever you find. It's perhaps gonna suck very often but it also gonna be an adventure, and more important, you'll find that you're learning something new and expand your social circle. So even when the job sucks you know that it's not for nothing (you still got a hobby or social circle to maintain a healthy self*). Be patient with yourself and don't hate people for considering you "toxic" right now. Meaningful (professional)relationships will only happen if you are 100% at peace with what you do (and are able to say NO to 9 out of 10 things without losing sleep). People (even the dumb ones) are experts at knowing when somebody is in a rut (which means only the creeps and vampires stick around so be cautious). Build a relationship with yourself again first. The rest will come from that. (it can _never_ be the other way around and if you try it might land you in a world of pain and misery) Also forget romantic relationships for now (if there are any). Put yourself first. Don't limit yourself in this situation to the demands of a relationship and don't expect from others that they stay with you during all the changes you might have to put yourself through. Hope this doesn't come across rough, and apologies for it only being generic feedback :) Hunter S. Thompson’s Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a Meaningful Life https://fs.blog/2014/05/hunter-s-thompson-to-hume-logan/ https://fs.blog/2014/05/hunter-s-thompson-to-hume-logan/ If you want drop me an email. Best of luck!