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No regrets – things were always going to happen as they happened
Does anyone else use this to positive effect to avoid regret in their own life?
Regret is such a useless, negative emotion.
I often encounter feelings of having wasted years of my life, or having lived through the golden age in tech where so much wealth was created from such simple ideas...and yet I did nothing. As a 30+ year old exposed to computers at such a young age, the amount of disruption that my generation saw was immense. These feelings can be crushing.
Yet, I find solace in the thought that I was always going to follow the path I did...and perhaps there is yet someway that I will make an impact in the years to come. This is thanks to ascribing to the philosophy of physical determinism. I often find I must remind myself of this though - it does not seem to come naturally - but I find it the best way to avoid feelings of regret.
I am curious as to whether others use such simple philosophical beliefs to positive mental benefit. ( Or maybe the avoidance of regret is the cause of continued disappointment in life ;) )
I also think this opens up other very interesting ways of looking at the world too worthy of discussion.
- Bostonian 6y agoI agree that regret can distract you from happier and productive thoughts, but we are probably evolved to feel regret because (1) regretting doing X reminds you not to do X again (2) you may avoid doing X knowing that will regret it. Have you read books about philosophers such as Spinoza who thought about free will?
- braddavis 6y agoI've read a bit - not heard of Spinoza. Been down many rabbit holes on Wikipedia on the subject. Yeh, it does feel like its evolved in. I do come across many people who become enraged about random accidents who are completely unreceptive to the philosophy. Whereas for myself, I just think, it was always going to happen, let's deal with it - "it's no use crying over spilt milk.". The only need to express emotion is for other people's sake (discipline, demonstrate group membership), etc. I think "God has a plan" is the alternative philosophy most people ascribe to with a similar goal.
- meiraleal 6y ago> I do come across many people who become enraged about random accidents who are completely unreceptive to the philosophy. Whereas for myself, I just think, it was always going to happen, let's deal with it A drunk person has more chance to hit or be hit by a car than someone sober. "it was always going to happen" is a frequentist thinking while life is Bayesian.
- hw-guy 6y agoRegret, if it is expressed, can also help others avoid making similar mistakes. A form of altruism?
- dalmo3 6y agoDoesn't determinism imply that you have no choice whether you feel regret or not?
- braddavis 6y agoUltimately, yes. But you never know if today is the day that you stop feeling regret by changing your thinking patterns. But whether you ascribe to these thinking patterns is pre-determined.
- AnimalMuppet 6y agoI'm going to ignore the question of whether free will actually exists or not. (I think it does, but that's not the point.) We all make decisions - some major, some minor. (Yes, I know, if there is no free will, we don't actually "make decision" - we follow some determined process that ends with us thinking we made a decision. We still act toward one of a set of options, though, and not toward others.) If we live in a universe where free will exists, and I believe it doesn't, I'm likely to live differently. I'm likely to be more careless and blase about my decision-making. That might work out anywhere from sub-optimally to disastrously for me. If we live in a universe where free will does not exist, but I believe it does, then I still may make better decisions. It's just that each decision was already determined, as was my belief in free will. And yeah, I know, you can't always know what's a wise choice, and even good choices can turn out badly. That's no excuse to be sloppy in your choices, though.
- braddavis 6y ago> I'm likely to be more careless and blase about my decision-making. Actually, you probably wouldn't. You would still want to maximize your happiness and enjoyment. Your conscience still restricts you from doing whatever you like, and you still have to deal with the consequences of your actions. It doesn't really change much about how you act, more so about how you reflect on past actions.
- clintonwoo 6y agoThis is exactly the same thing that goes through my head. We could really just fast forward or rewind time and events were always going to happen that way if we could understand the circumstances.
- braddavis 6y agoWhat's great is it takes away any negative thoughts related to "what if I only...".
- clintonwoo 6y agoI totally agree. Hey, if you read this ping me a msg on twitter @clintondannolfo to connect, I like the way you think
- burntoutfire 6y agoOur of perhaps 10 million people who were proficient with computers at the time, a couple thousand got rich... I wouldn't lose sleep about not being in that tiny group.
- alea_iacta_est 6y ago> Regret is such a useless, negative emotion. Later: > there is yet someway that I will make an impact in the years to come. It's the ego that makes us believe there is something special about ourselves and that should translate into some form of recognition. The problem is most of us aren't special (or lucky), and as we age, it becomes clearer and clearer. Don't want to have regrets? Do your best, have fun and expect nothing.
- stakkur 6y agoHappiness is giving up all hope of a better past.