4 ms·

This is probably not the place to say the following, but I just have to. Reading your comment nearly made me cry, because it (strikingly) reminded me of my own

by sai_c 5y ago

This is probably not the place to say the following, but I just have to. Reading your comment nearly made me cry, because it (strikingly) reminded me of my own story. You are not alone. Keep your head up (as you seem to always have done), and if you can, make peace with the past and your parents. This took me a LOT of time, but it helped me. Thank you for sharing your story.

reader_mode 5y ago
Thank you, it's been a while now since I started improving things so it's easier to look at this more objectively. I was harsh on my parents in that post, they were dysfunctional but my mother loved all of us in her own way and spent her whole life arround us, and I can't say a lot of good things about my father - dealing with my mother in those days would break anyone. I'm on good terms with them now and they are in a better place now that we're grown up and independent.
- rlonn 5y ago
  I wonder if things would have turned out the same if your mother hadn't cared about you. My theory is that love from parents and family growing up is hugely important for a happy life. Hard to optimise through political solutions, unfortunately. Just handing out money probably won't help so much, like you observed. Generous parental leave rules might be useful.
  - ido 5y ago
    And a well functioning social safety net (which also requires money from the state) to catch the youth who suffer from parental neglect and/or lack or resources. You can have role models aside from your parents.
  - moneywoes 5y ago
    Sigh this hits me really hard looking back. Oh well can only make the most of tomorrow
- BerislavLopac 5y ago
  Was it in the Balkans?
  - reader_mode 5y ago
    Yes, I grew up in Croatia.
    - BerislavLopac 5y ago
      Odmah sam prepoznao. ;)
rukuu001 5y ago
Similar reaction, not so teary though :) I grew up in similar circumstances, and it still affects my mindset. It's changing, but slowly. It helps a lot to read others' stories.

by sai_c 5y ago

reader_mode 5y ago

Thank you, it's been a while now since I started improving things so it's easier to look at this more objectively. I was harsh on my parents in that post, they were dysfunctional but my mother loved all of us in her own way and spent her whole life arround us, and I can't say a lot of good things about my father - dealing with my mother in those days would break anyone. I'm on good terms with them now and they are in a better place now that we're grown up and independent.

rlonn 5y ago
I wonder if things would have turned out the same if your mother hadn't cared about you. My theory is that love from parents and family growing up is hugely important for a happy life. Hard to optimise through political solutions, unfortunately. Just handing out money probably won't help so much, like you observed. Generous parental leave rules might be useful.
- ido 5y ago
  And a well functioning social safety net (which also requires money from the state) to catch the youth who suffer from parental neglect and/or lack or resources. You can have role models aside from your parents.
- moneywoes 5y ago
  Sigh this hits me really hard looking back. Oh well can only make the most of tomorrow
BerislavLopac 5y ago
Was it in the Balkans?
- reader_mode 5y ago
  Yes, I grew up in Croatia.
  - BerislavLopac 5y ago
    Odmah sam prepoznao. ;)

rukuu001 5y ago

Similar reaction, not so teary though :) I grew up in similar circumstances, and it still affects my mindset. It's changing, but slowly. It helps a lot to read others' stories.