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This is a huge question. I wonder how many have experienced a very deep pathway into their lives before they realize they don't organically care about it.

nonbirithm 5y ago
I've always wondered about this. I've been searching for a word that describes the things that I "want" to do, and the things I want to do. For example, I can program for eight hours straight on personal projects without batting an eye or needing to apply motivational strategy X or Y. I'll just fix a bug and I'll look up at my clock and find that it's four in the morning. It took me by surprise when my coworkers said that they didn't realize that having a programming hobby outside work was a thing at all, much less at the level of my dedication (if hyperfocus could even be called that). However, I constantly question whether or not that is my "calling." I feel that programming games for eight hours a day and putting myself in that box for life is leaving too many other things on the table, ideas I want to express in other ways. If I just programmed with most of my free time and played games or something with the rest until I died, I would find something fundamentally wrong with my personal choices. The issue is that without a dopamine-adjusting substance, it really feels like there is no way out of that loop. And I can't even deny that I'm succeeding at the programming thing, in a way that so many people can only dream of doing. But the art that I say I want to do requires Adderall at a certain point for me to make tangible progress, and the other kind of art doesn't. One has a limit of however many hours the drug lasts, the other has practically no limit except my ability to stay awake. By now I understand the feelings of the people who say they can't program for more than X hours a day. I find it hard to do anything besides programming that requires deliberate effort for more than a few hours a day. I feel that ADD isn't even a disorder indicating a deficit of attention, instead it's such that the attention is tightly bound to things that you don't get to choose. I kind of got lucky in my case, in that I legitimately enjoy programming and do want to finish the project I "want." But then there are other things that I want, that I tell myself that I want to scream at the world at the top of my lungs one day, but never do. I believe it would be the saddest thing if I passed on that opportunity. I only have one life.
- goatcode 5y ago
  I feel you on this. It's weird having to balance things between passion and necessity. Sometimes, I feel completely disconnected from what I work on as a career; I then contemplate what I'd like to do, and I'm either up against much lower pay or not caring about anything enough to want to do it. In my case, I probably need a solid, real vacation. Usually when I get some rest I can find some passion. It's a struggle, and I think very few make it to the place where they can say the old "I love what I do, so I never work a day in my life!" For me, I take joy from the fact that I'm providing for my family, and this really helps get me through the slumps. I also do different things in my spare time, some of which are completely orthogonal to my career (other than the problem solving aspect), and this gives me joy. All the best in contemplating things! You'll make it.

nonbirithm 5y ago

I've always wondered about this. I've been searching for a word that describes the things that I "want" to do, and the things I want to do. For example, I can program for eight hours straight on personal projects without batting an eye or needing to apply motivational strategy X or Y. I'll just fix a bug and I'll look up at my clock and find that it's four in the morning. It took me by surprise when my coworkers said that they didn't realize that having a programming hobby outside work was a thing at all, much less at the level of my dedication (if hyperfocus could even be called that). However, I constantly question whether or not that is my "calling." I feel that programming games for eight hours a day and putting myself in that box for life is leaving too many other things on the table, ideas I want to express in other ways. If I just programmed with most of my free time and played games or something with the rest until I died, I would find something fundamentally wrong with my personal choices. The issue is that without a dopamine-adjusting substance, it really feels like there is no way out of that loop. And I can't even deny that I'm succeeding at the programming thing, in a way that so many people can only dream of doing. But the art that I say I want to do requires Adderall at a certain point for me to make tangible progress, and the other kind of art doesn't. One has a limit of however many hours the drug lasts, the other has practically no limit except my ability to stay awake. By now I understand the feelings of the people who say they can't program for more than X hours a day. I find it hard to do anything besides programming that requires deliberate effort for more than a few hours a day. I feel that ADD isn't even a disorder indicating a deficit of attention, instead it's such that the attention is tightly bound to things that you don't get to choose. I kind of got lucky in my case, in that I legitimately enjoy programming and do want to finish the project I "want." But then there are other things that I want, that I tell myself that I want to scream at the world at the top of my lungs one day, but never do. I believe it would be the saddest thing if I passed on that opportunity. I only have one life.

goatcode 5y ago
I feel you on this. It's weird having to balance things between passion and necessity. Sometimes, I feel completely disconnected from what I work on as a career; I then contemplate what I'd like to do, and I'm either up against much lower pay or not caring about anything enough to want to do it. In my case, I probably need a solid, real vacation. Usually when I get some rest I can find some passion. It's a struggle, and I think very few make it to the place where they can say the old "I love what I do, so I never work a day in my life!" For me, I take joy from the fact that I'm providing for my family, and this really helps get me through the slumps. I also do different things in my spare time, some of which are completely orthogonal to my career (other than the problem solving aspect), and this gives me joy. All the best in contemplating things! You'll make it.