3 ms·

As someone diagnosed with ADHD a year ago now, the GPs description of their life experiences are pretty textbook ADHD. And things like this: "Some times the t

As someone diagnosed with ADHD a year ago now, the GPs description of their life experiences are pretty textbook ADHD. And things like this: "Some times the things we have to do in life aren't immediately enjoyable. It's on us to find ways to make them more enjoyable (e.g. find a sport you like, or take up walking), and some times we just have to do the unenjoyable thing for the sake of progress." Are just insanely tone deaf things people without ADHD wind up saying to ADHDers because they have the capacity to do those things and haven't experienced not having the capacity to do them.

whimsicalism 6y ago
If that is enough to be "textbook ADHD" then the definition is even broader than I thought. Being performant when you're focused but having trouble getting there, having difficulty getting basic chores done, etc.? That's just many people in life. Ultimately, I don't really trust the psychology field to determine what is a mental illness and what isn't. It wasn't that long ago that being gay was in the DSM.
- nullsense 6y ago
  The definition is indeed more specific than that. Don't be silly. The part that is incredibly relatable there is 1) life long inability to get your shit together (not just periodic or some of the time), and 2) a deep seated emotional anguish from being berated by people your whole life for not doing what you're supposed to when you're supposed to. It does terrible things to your health, finances, employment and relationships. My difficulty with basic chores almost cost me my marriage, and I spent north of 1000 nights in the last 5 years doing the dishes at 2am dead last before going to bed because that was the only circumstance under which I could get myself to do them. I think most people misunderstand it greatly because their frame is "can't focus" but that's pretty nebulous. A better frame is "having a disastrously shitty batting average on choosing what to direct your attention towards or away from". The chronic understimulation leads to engaging predominantly in things that provide enough stimulation, which often aren't what you're supposed to be doing, and getting locked in that mode because anything else pales in comparison so switching away feels almost painful. Best metaphor I've come up with to describe the difference is imagine you had to live your whole life with no shoes. Imagine all the surfaces you've ever had to walk across and how that would have been without shoes. You'd be fairly reluctant to make transitions between certain surfaces due to the discomfort. So the routes you take would change. Some routes would lead you to not wind up at your intended destination due to needing to walk on a comfortable enough path. You'd always take longer than other people to get places. Also it's not a mental illness, it's a neurodevelopmental disorder.
  - jamiek88 6y ago
    I could have written this and I’m on the verge of losing my marriage too. Already lost my career.

whimsicalism 6y ago

If that is enough to be "textbook ADHD" then the definition is even broader than I thought. Being performant when you're focused but having trouble getting there, having difficulty getting basic chores done, etc.? That's just many people in life. Ultimately, I don't really trust the psychology field to determine what is a mental illness and what isn't. It wasn't that long ago that being gay was in the DSM.

nullsense 6y ago
The definition is indeed more specific than that. Don't be silly. The part that is incredibly relatable there is 1) life long inability to get your shit together (not just periodic or some of the time), and 2) a deep seated emotional anguish from being berated by people your whole life for not doing what you're supposed to when you're supposed to. It does terrible things to your health, finances, employment and relationships. My difficulty with basic chores almost cost me my marriage, and I spent north of 1000 nights in the last 5 years doing the dishes at 2am dead last before going to bed because that was the only circumstance under which I could get myself to do them. I think most people misunderstand it greatly because their frame is "can't focus" but that's pretty nebulous. A better frame is "having a disastrously shitty batting average on choosing what to direct your attention towards or away from". The chronic understimulation leads to engaging predominantly in things that provide enough stimulation, which often aren't what you're supposed to be doing, and getting locked in that mode because anything else pales in comparison so switching away feels almost painful. Best metaphor I've come up with to describe the difference is imagine you had to live your whole life with no shoes. Imagine all the surfaces you've ever had to walk across and how that would have been without shoes. You'd be fairly reluctant to make transitions between certain surfaces due to the discomfort. So the routes you take would change. Some routes would lead you to not wind up at your intended destination due to needing to walk on a comfortable enough path. You'd always take longer than other people to get places. Also it's not a mental illness, it's a neurodevelopmental disorder.
- jamiek88 6y ago
  I could have written this and I’m on the verge of losing my marriage too. Already lost my career.