I've learned to avoid using fabric softener, but any time I'm exposed to it (in other people's houses), I get a frightening lung reaction; some wheezing initial

I've learned to avoid using fabric softener, but any time I'm exposed to it (in other people's houses), I get a frightening lung reaction; some wheezing initially, then my chest seizes up making me feel like I can barely breathe at all. I think it's a protective anxiety reaction to warn me to avoid it, rather than an actual dangerous allergic reaction, but there's something about it my body really doesn't like. I don't have any other allergies or asthma normally these days; I had dust/mite-related asthma as a child but have mostly grown out of it. That fabric softener reaction is the only reaction of that kind I've noticed in about the past 15 years.