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I don't go to work to socialize. I go to work to make money. And if I had enough money, I wouldn't work for someone else at all. I socialize by going to conven

I don't go to work to socialize. I go to work to make money. And if I had enough money, I wouldn't work for someone else at all. I socialize by going to conventions, events, clubs, parties; with people I want to be around.

imiric 6y ago
While I agree with you, I think it's a mistake to reject all social aspects of working. It doesn't have to be about making friends, and certain type of work definitely benefits from direct social contact. Even with programming being mostly a solitary activity, discussing a piece of code, brainstorming design, pair programming, etc., are all much easier and interactive in person. The online tooling is just not there yet. We've settled on text chat, crappy video conferencing and code review tooling, but they're a lossy alternative to in-person communication. Maybe one day when our brains are wired up this will improve, and we have VR in the meantime. Outside of tech work, consider how many professions depend on communication where this lossiness is unacceptable. So I definitely get that there's a wide spectrum of preferences towards telecommuting.
- duckfang 6y ago
  Then I didn't quite get my point across. I'm not at all saying "Be antisocial at work". That just makes for a shitty time for everyone. What I was trying to get to was "dont use work as a way to make friends as well", since many of those relationships are predicated upon working said job. It's all too easy to lose a job and be simultaneously be isolated by having all your 'friend network' in a group that no longer talks or relates to you. By having people who are your friends outside work, how you change jobs doesn't matter. It's a discussion with your friends about that place. And talking ill about that workplace can be done, and not alienating or as sour-grapes. Now, for the few people that do cross over to non-work, it's awesome. Welcome them as a friend, and not a "work-friend". But I find that I've only had a very small handful of people whom that happened with.
  - decafninja 6y ago
    Totally agree with this. It's great if friendships naturally develop at work, but you shouldn't rely on something like that to happen or expect it to happen. That's just setting yourself up for disappointment. I've worked for four companies in my career. I'm still great friends with my coworkers from my first company. I don't talk to anyone from my second and third companies at all - not because I don't like them, but because we just never built rapport or "jived" with each other beyond work. Our relationships amounts to at best, liking each others' posts on social networking and saying happy birthdays. I'm still good friends with some people I worked at in my current company that have since left. Then again, I'm fairly introverted. YMMV if you are highly extroverted. I know some people that can quickly become best friends with a room full of strangers.
Thaxll 6y ago
Must be fun to be your co-worker. Work is the #1 place to socialize, you don't go to a club and start talking to random people.

imiric 6y ago

While I agree with you, I think it's a mistake to reject all social aspects of working. It doesn't have to be about making friends, and certain type of work definitely benefits from direct social contact. Even with programming being mostly a solitary activity, discussing a piece of code, brainstorming design, pair programming, etc., are all much easier and interactive in person. The online tooling is just not there yet. We've settled on text chat, crappy video conferencing and code review tooling, but they're a lossy alternative to in-person communication. Maybe one day when our brains are wired up this will improve, and we have VR in the meantime. Outside of tech work, consider how many professions depend on communication where this lossiness is unacceptable. So I definitely get that there's a wide spectrum of preferences towards telecommuting.

duckfang 6y ago
Then I didn't quite get my point across. I'm not at all saying "Be antisocial at work". That just makes for a shitty time for everyone. What I was trying to get to was "dont use work as a way to make friends as well", since many of those relationships are predicated upon working said job. It's all too easy to lose a job and be simultaneously be isolated by having all your 'friend network' in a group that no longer talks or relates to you. By having people who are your friends outside work, how you change jobs doesn't matter. It's a discussion with your friends about that place. And talking ill about that workplace can be done, and not alienating or as sour-grapes. Now, for the few people that do cross over to non-work, it's awesome. Welcome them as a friend, and not a "work-friend". But I find that I've only had a very small handful of people whom that happened with.
- decafninja 6y ago
  Totally agree with this. It's great if friendships naturally develop at work, but you shouldn't rely on something like that to happen or expect it to happen. That's just setting yourself up for disappointment. I've worked for four companies in my career. I'm still great friends with my coworkers from my first company. I don't talk to anyone from my second and third companies at all - not because I don't like them, but because we just never built rapport or "jived" with each other beyond work. Our relationships amounts to at best, liking each others' posts on social networking and saying happy birthdays. I'm still good friends with some people I worked at in my current company that have since left. Then again, I'm fairly introverted. YMMV if you are highly extroverted. I know some people that can quickly become best friends with a room full of strangers.

Thaxll 6y ago

Must be fun to be your co-worker. Work is the #1 place to socialize, you don't go to a club and start talking to random people.