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Consider: you may become depressed, unfulfilled, and unhappy in this life. I had a position that was around halfway to what you want, government database coding

Consider: you may become depressed, unfulfilled, and unhappy in this life. I had a position that was around halfway to what you want, government database coding, and I was miserable. I think becoming fully "chilled out" is ideal, because being "half chilled" and half "in-the-hotseat" gave me whiplash a few times. I developed lazy habits over time, my work output suffered, and all that free-time on my hobby wasn't as great as I envisioned. You know the story, it's Christmas, you're the only one in the office this week because you're new and your PTO is garbage, you're young and have no family to go back to anyway. You stroll in an hour late through the side door, check emails briefly, okay no one is here, then you fire up the YT clips or the novel reading or whatever it is. By 3pm, after 5 hours of pure faffing around, you surely deserve the christmas cookies left in the break room. By 315, you're pooped, time to head home, sneak back through the side door, and you're off to use the screen at the apartment. Is there some nagging feeling in your stomach? That you could've explored the database, you could've dived into that long-term project you've thought of. You could've been writing up a research proposal, searching for new grants, or helping someone at a volunteer organization. Instead, you're "half on" so you're half-assing your life, not fully relaxing, not working at all. Honestly, it wasn't for me. I want to feel fully into what I'm doing, and having to half-ass my way through a boring job was causing serious depression. I'd only recommend this if you can use less of your ass, preferably remotely, and if you're sure you won't have a crisis of meaning in life.

brundolf 6y ago
This varies widely by person. Some people - whether they want to or not - define themselves by their work. Other people's priorities lie elsewhere. It sounds like the OP is of the latter type, though it's hard to know for sure until you try it.
nprateem 6y ago
There's a big difference between having nothing to do and not having to do anything. If you have nothing to do but need to keep up appearances, being in the office/online, etc. you're just wasting your life. But if you don't have to do anything and can disconnect and go on with your life it's much better.
throwwwaway69 6y ago
I have this issue too with the couple do-nothing jobs I've had. It causes me anxiety. It's uncomfortable. I'm waiting for the day that someone reviews my timesheets and says "this looks like bullshit" because I'll have no real defense. I'll have to say something to the effect of "I have a lot of downtime. I get all my work done and my projects are successful. But I agree I get this work done in only a few hours a week". However, this anxiety is far, far less than the anxiety caused by doing a job I absolutely hate and required 30+ hours a week of decent effort.
tj0 6y ago
Can attest to this experience as well. When I was in high visibility roles in start-ups, I dreamt of a place where I could fall through the cracks and kind of breathe -- or at least what I thought would be breathing. I found that spot, and after a couple years feel like taking the offer was a monumental mistake in my career. Nothing is a challenge, my output is minimal yet when I actually do produce something, I get massive praise, and yearn for somewhere that I can throw myself into interesting work. I think that next phase is coming, but I've definitely stagnated a bit and wish I'd spent more time using the required seat time (have to be visibly online 9+ hours a day) doing something fruitful instead of wasting time on HN and occasionally toying with various project ideas. The soul crush is real in this kind of position, and as OP said, always being "half on" emphasizes the mental toll that all of my output has suffered both personally and professionally. Or I might just be burnt out.
- kadomony 6y ago
  I think this soul crush only occurs if you take the stance that it's an issue. I.e., if you suddenly want to find fulfillment and meaning in work, sure, you'll feed bad. I submit that you can counter this by using that free time to do things that interest yourself and help you progress in the areas you want to grow in. I have a lot of free time as a designer maintaining an enterprise product, so I flex my downtime into acting as my team's de facto product manager. When I step back from this interest of mine, I can otherwise use the time to teach myself VR (not related at all to my company). My biggest piece of advice to people is to not look for fulfillment in work, but rather to find fulfillment in your interests. The burnout happens when your interests don't align with a highly demanding job. The soul crush happens when you suddenly try to tie all of your interests back to your job. That'll never be feasible 99.99% of the time. There's a reason why "a job is just a job" is an adage. If you're fortunate and your job doesn't demand a lot, don't look to it to fill the void of free time if it's not interesting. Use that time for yourself to the extent that your company will allow/overlook it (I suspect this is why so many FAANGs are anti-remote work). As most people can agree, no one will ever be lying on their deathbed thinking "damn, I wish I'd clocked more time filing those TPS reports".

brundolf 6y ago

This varies widely by person. Some people - whether they want to or not - define themselves by their work. Other people's priorities lie elsewhere. It sounds like the OP is of the latter type, though it's hard to know for sure until you try it.

nprateem 6y ago

There's a big difference between having nothing to do and not having to do anything. If you have nothing to do but need to keep up appearances, being in the office/online, etc. you're just wasting your life. But if you don't have to do anything and can disconnect and go on with your life it's much better.

throwwwaway69 6y ago

I have this issue too with the couple do-nothing jobs I've had. It causes me anxiety. It's uncomfortable. I'm waiting for the day that someone reviews my timesheets and says "this looks like bullshit" because I'll have no real defense. I'll have to say something to the effect of "I have a lot of downtime. I get all my work done and my projects are successful. But I agree I get this work done in only a few hours a week". However, this anxiety is far, far less than the anxiety caused by doing a job I absolutely hate and required 30+ hours a week of decent effort.

tj0 6y ago

Can attest to this experience as well. When I was in high visibility roles in start-ups, I dreamt of a place where I could fall through the cracks and kind of breathe -- or at least what I thought would be breathing. I found that spot, and after a couple years feel like taking the offer was a monumental mistake in my career. Nothing is a challenge, my output is minimal yet when I actually do produce something, I get massive praise, and yearn for somewhere that I can throw myself into interesting work. I think that next phase is coming, but I've definitely stagnated a bit and wish I'd spent more time using the required seat time (have to be visibly online 9+ hours a day) doing something fruitful instead of wasting time on HN and occasionally toying with various project ideas. The soul crush is real in this kind of position, and as OP said, always being "half on" emphasizes the mental toll that all of my output has suffered both personally and professionally. Or I might just be burnt out.

kadomony 6y ago
I think this soul crush only occurs if you take the stance that it's an issue. I.e., if you suddenly want to find fulfillment and meaning in work, sure, you'll feed bad. I submit that you can counter this by using that free time to do things that interest yourself and help you progress in the areas you want to grow in. I have a lot of free time as a designer maintaining an enterprise product, so I flex my downtime into acting as my team's de facto product manager. When I step back from this interest of mine, I can otherwise use the time to teach myself VR (not related at all to my company). My biggest piece of advice to people is to not look for fulfillment in work, but rather to find fulfillment in your interests. The burnout happens when your interests don't align with a highly demanding job. The soul crush happens when you suddenly try to tie all of your interests back to your job. That'll never be feasible 99.99% of the time. There's a reason why "a job is just a job" is an adage. If you're fortunate and your job doesn't demand a lot, don't look to it to fill the void of free time if it's not interesting. Use that time for yourself to the extent that your company will allow/overlook it (I suspect this is why so many FAANGs are anti-remote work). As most people can agree, no one will ever be lying on their deathbed thinking "damn, I wish I'd clocked more time filing those TPS reports".